yo
It seems like i havent been on this site in ages. I think its honestly been a full year since my last post on here other than the occasional art posting....I cant believe ive let myself get so far away from this beautiful site. I literally had so much fun on this site and this place and its friendships is what has gotten me through some really hard times from the age of 11-16 and I honestly have no more contact with anyone....It makes me wanna cry honestly. I look back at my old postings and almost laugh at the way i talked and complained. Comparing the death of my dog and my best friends dad to having to clean my room and having headaches. it almost disgust me. So much has happened to me in my short time on this planet and I seemed to try and cover it up at all times with a false sense of childhood annoyance or 'wonder'. Why did any of you even put up with me. I was so mean in chat half the time and I used to try and take over roleplays because i wanted the attention i never got from my family. I always read fairy tales and wanted to be the main character in all the stories that when someone opened an anime RP I would push anyone who didnt make me the top priority in there post aside. (im realizing now as I type how much my grammar has not improved.)I did the same thing in real life...always wanting to be the leader of the group and wanting people to look up to me or lean on me that people would slowly start to hate and resent me because they saw me as an ass. They were right. I really was an ass. I was and still am a terrible person.
This week has been totally boring...ive been in school for what feels like forever but turs out has only been 3 weeks >.> I dont know how ill survive being in all A.P classes....IM NOT EVEN SMART. I wake up, go to school, go homee, do homework, and go to bed...I BARELY HAVE A LIFE! not to mention teachers sticking 6-10 page essays on us about stuff we have never even covered...thats due on monday WHICH MEANS NO WEEKEND FUN!
My dad got married so now im living with his new wife and we have nuthing in common. Tho i lvoe the lady...she cant seem to understand why i dont talk. Im super shy when i dont know anyone which is why im never in chat to make new friends >.> Shes chinese and makes a bunch of weirddddd food but then she gets upset when i dont like it....like i was raised on pudding and french fries and now im living off of rice and pork tofu ....(i actually like tofu)I cant have friends over because she doesnt like starngers in her house...which i understand...but i miss my friends.
My best friend is having Guy problems...an blaming me for it cuz i picked they guy out for her...and I understand to some degree its my fault but its not ALL my fault hes doing what he is >.>
Anyone have a drawing request? Im bored and feel like drawing stuff for people :D
