boo

If there's anything ive learned over the last couple of months, its that i am a fool.

Now, I am a very strong person. I lived for myself and worked to get out of my past situations to come out a happier person.

Its crazy because at this point, i honestly dont know if i've made the right decisions.

I tell you one thing though, Im living my life by someone elses views....and ive given up on who i was.

I feel kind of broken, but yet, i feel that im finally living a life, just maybe half alive....and everything everyone says to me is pretty much a lie.

Ive met so many messed up people, who have good hearts, but only live there lives in a cowardly manor and depending on substances to get by.

Ive even given in myself, and rolled one to many times.....

reality is hitting me harder then it ever has, its like my eyes are showing me the world for what it really is, very harsh.

and im sad to say im in love with someone who beleives life should be this way. Maybe some part of him knows its wrong, but in the end all he cares about is feeling life differently, no matter what the cost, even my heart and soul. He would give me up and not go after me if i left.

But he isnt the only one with an addiction. I started a new life with him, and i cant go back. And now im addicted to him and his love and our life....

You should never make someone else your life, you must always live for yourself, and when someone is holding you back....dont let them. That is no relationship

Ive never seen someone who is so selfish and so deceiving. Why i love him so much... i have no idea.

Im such a fool...because im in love with someone who cant see life for what it is.....

But in any case, maybe i'll be back soon and recount everything. Including my 2 week binge drinking and then the 2 months of being so ill i lost 10 pounds. Or how i discovered my superhero power is that pot doesnt effect me one bit.

or about all the people i've met....who blew my mind, and made me hate this planet more and more....