Marcus Wolfe’s Real Man Anime Talk Show! By Men, For Men Because Marcus Damn Well Feels Like It!!
[C]Hello everybody, and welcome to[/C]
Marcus Wolfe’s Real Man Anime Talk Show!!
In every episode, Marcus brings together the biggest, the baddest, the best male anime characters from whatever animes he damn well feels like and sits their asses down for some man to man talk! Events in various animes will be discussed! Advantages and disadvantages of fame debated! Fan questions answered! Frequent verbal abuse! Bad language used! Fights break out! Scores settled! Exclamation marks overused!
Tonights guests are:
The Red Eyed Flamethrower/Taser Ninja: Saskue Uchiha
Everybody’s Favorite Dog Eared Half Demon: Inuyasha!
And
His Elder Brother: Lord Sesshomaru!
And with that out of the way, we present our most handsome host: Marcus Wolfe!
MW: Hey everybody! Tonight, I have chosen a special word. Everytime anyone says that word, that guy who pissed me off last episode will get minorly electrocuted. Tonight’s word is: FANGIRL!
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
MW: Gentlemen, sit your asses down! Tonight’s topic is: coping with fangirls!
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
S: Oh, crap, not fangirls…..
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
MW: Yes, Fangirls!
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
I: Ah, fangirls-
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
I: -the greatest problem to ever plague male anime characters. Except, of course, for homosexual fanboys…….
LS: They are a greater pain in the ass than any fangirl-
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH!
LS: -could ever be.
MW: We’ll start off with Mr. Uchiha. How do you cope with fangirls?
S: I guess that I was used to having girls go gaga over me by the time I had my first fangirl. Well, that’s not exactly true, see; I count Sakura and Ino as fangirls.
LS: You have fangirls in your actual cannon?
S: Yes, Sakura, Ino, and that new girl…..Karin, yes that’s her name. She’s the red head with long hair on only one side. Damn, she looks weird.
MW: Would you say she’s the fangirliest fangirl of the three?
S: Oh, definitely. I mean, Ino was bad, really obsessive. But I guess she was only doing it to make Sakura mad. Sakura was even worse, partially because she was interested in me for personal reasons, partially because she spent more time around me. But Karin…aih aih aih. She’s way worse than Sakura. Sakura did not keep one of my sweaty outfits where she just sniff it when ever we felt like it. Sakura did have a bit of a dual personality, but Karin took that to an extreme level. And Sakura did not intend to ‘ravage’ me after everyone else fell asleep.
I: She actually said she wanted to ‘ravage’ you?
S: Yes.
LS: In those exact words?
S: Yes.
I: Didn’t you say you were going to ravage me one time when we were little?
LS: Yes, I believe you had stolen something of mine……
I: It was your little red ball you always liked.
LS: Yes, you stole my little red ball and I tried to rip your head off…..
MW: How’d you survive?
I: Meh, I think a bigger demon scared us both away or something…….. But that’s not important. It sounds like this girl is trying to kill you, Saskue.
S: Oh, no, she’s not trying to kill me. 3 nights out of the week, she strips down to her bra and panties, covers herself in lotion and rubs against my torso all night. It’s really hot, in a disturbing sort of way.
MW: What? Say that again?
S: It’s really hot, in a disturbing sort of way.
MW: No, no, before that.
S: 3 nights out of the week, she strips down to her bra and panties, covers herself in lotion and rubs against my torso all night.
I: Woah…..
MW: That actually sounds hot.
S: Well, of course it is. Why do you think I haven’t flipped out and killed her?
MW: Well, that’s fangirlism in a nutshell for you.
I: Aw, you know what’s worse than fangirls in the cannon? Jakotsu.
S: How bad is she?
LS: Jakotsu is a man.
S: WHAT?!?!?!
I: Disturbing, I know!
MW: To make all the more twisted, he’s voiced by a woman in the English dub.
I: And I don’t blame them!
MW: Moving on….what is the thing you hate most about fangirls?
Guy in the audience: AIUUGH! I can no longer suffer in silence!
MW: STFU, n00b!
(fuses his mouth shut with radioactive beams)
Ahem, your answers gentlemen…….
S: I’d have to say the Fanfiction.
I: The gay and incestuous Fanfiction.
LS: I have to agree with Inuyasha on this.
S: Same. But I bet if Orochimaru was here, he’d say the gay and pedophilic!
MW: Yes, but your brother has it the worst. Fanfiction makes him look gay, incestuous and pedophilic!
S: Oh…Itachi….don’t even go there…..
LS: What? Oh, don’t tell me you miss him……
S: Is that so unconceivable?
I: Well, I wouldn’t miss him….
S: You would never understand!
MW: So, you miss your brother?
S: Yes, I think that has been made clear…..
MW: Well, what if I told you that today our secret surprise guest was none other than…….drum roll please…..
(platform rises up)
MW: ITACHI UCHIHA!!!
S: ITACHI!
(runs over to hug him)
(Itachi whacks him on the forehead with 2 fingers, causing him to fall over)
IU: Saskue, you idiot! The fangirls are watching this! Do you want to give them any stupid ideas?
S: You got a point there.
I: See, this is why Sesshomaru and I never hug it out.
LS: That, and we usually want to kill each other, so any hugs that ever did occur between us were the rib-crushing kind.
S: Well, I guess we can settle for showing our love the usual way……. Itachi, I swear I will kill you!
IU: You will never beat me Saskue…do you know why? It’s because….you….lack…….. HATRED!
MW: Well, that’s all we have for this night’s show. Tune in next time, for when we discover the truth about filler! Until then, this is
Marcus Wolfe’s Real Man Anime Talk Show! By Men, For Men Because Marcus Damn Well Feels Like It!!
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But there is hope: To learn more about reintroducing wolves to the Scottish highlands, go to http://www.wolftrust.org.uk/.
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