The Magic Carpet Incident (as well as the Volcano Barbeque Chip Incident and the Hornet Face Inciden

“I still don’t see what you’re so excited about, Choji. I mean, sure they only come out once every 20 years, but really, you’re overexerting yourself.”

“Come now Shikamaru! There is no chip flavor superior to Volcanic Barbeque! This is a flavor men risk their lives to create!” Choji shouted gleefully, holding the small but extremely expensive bag above his head like a baby.

“Yeah, but still, you’re getting ripped off in terms of quantity.”

“Oh you’re so delicious! You know what I’m going to do with you, you delicious little thing you? I’m going to take you home and eat you up! That’s right, I’m going to eat you up!”

Shikamaru sighed. Choji was talking to his food again. Now was not the time for intelligent conversation. Instead, he focused on the eager shouts growing ever louder (and therefore closer). Naruto and Kiba…. How could they be moving that fast? Then they came around the corner and it became clear to him.

“CHOJI! DUCK!”

“What?”

“GAAAANGWAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!”

Shikamaru threw himself at the ground as the carpet went whizzing over his head. In the chaos, the bag flew out of Choji’s hands and onto the top of a very tall tree somewhere in the Forest of Death.

“NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Troublesome.”