Argueing with myself

The pain is getting harder to bear, its getting harder to fight myself.

maybe you should just kill yourself Never. i promised i wouldn't
promises are meant to be broken Not this one
its not like anyone will miss you That's a lie!
you've always been invisible anyway SHUT UP!

The persuasions and insults continue,

why don't you though? Because
you fuck everything up anyway Didn't I say shut up?
its better than drinking How!?
you don't even cut! Isn't that a good thing?

Options are given,

I'd rather we die differently Like how?
bleeding to death sounds fun No.
c'mon! its better than alcohol poisoning I've been sober for a while now. thank you.
like that's going to last! Please? just one cut?

Questions are asked,

How long?
How long for what? Until you stop.
Never.

How long? Until what?
Until you give in? Who knows.

The worse I get, the more tears come. The more tears come, the more i feel like giving in. I'm still asking myself...

How long?