yeah...i always have problems writing a story ALL in the right tense lol even on school papers too lol, i just can't figure out what's what really...so yeah...
Weaver of Dreams (Otaku Angel) | Posted 07/30/08 | Reply
Ok...the ending was wacky and obscene. I'm not into adult humor stuff like that. And as another personal preference, I like fanfics to keep the characters in character (ie, why would Sesshomaru be SAVING a human (besides Rin) but the DIE-LIVE battle was still funny!) so if I comment about that and it's not meant to be realistic, just brush it off. Like I can't see Sango enjoying the skirmish and she and Miroku should switch lines. Cannon aside...I would suggest keeping the whole story in the same tense ~ at the begining you use all 'said' and 'replied' in past tense, but then "Sango slaps" in present tense. Hope that helps you in your aspirations of writing XD (I hope I didn't offend you in any way if so that was not my intent and I appologize)
And thank you for reading YuYu Hakusho Beyond! I'm glad you enjoy it so far!
t3hOthertwin
Otakuite | Posted 07/30/08 | Reply
@tiggerola:
yeah...i always have problems writing a story ALL in the right tense lol even on school papers too lol, i just can't figure out what's what really...so yeah...
Thank you for your comment! =)
tiggerola
Weaver of Dreams (Otaku Angel) | Posted 07/30/08 | Reply
Ok...the ending was wacky and obscene. I'm not into adult humor stuff like that. And as another personal preference, I like fanfics to keep the characters in character (ie, why would Sesshomaru be SAVING a human (besides Rin) but the DIE-LIVE battle was still funny!) so if I comment about that and it's not meant to be realistic, just brush it off. Like I can't see Sango enjoying the skirmish and she and Miroku should switch lines. Cannon aside...I would suggest keeping the whole story in the same tense ~ at the begining you use all 'said' and 'replied' in past tense, but then "Sango slaps" in present tense. Hope that helps you in your aspirations of writing XD (I hope I didn't offend you in any way if so that was not my intent and I appologize)
And thank you for reading YuYu Hakusho Beyond! I'm glad you enjoy it so far!