Part 3: Cavanaugh Park – Matt & Mello: Together.
Matt was out shopping. I was extremely bored, but I felt like just relaxing for once instead of working. I looked out the window; the sun had begun to set; the golden orb pulling the light from the sky, sinking into the shadows of the night. I tugged on the collar of the black, long sleeve shirt I was wearing. For the time being, I’d been avoiding leather a bit. Fuck, I know; that’s unbelievable. But leather held too many memories of what had transpired in the past five years.
I reached over to the radio and flicked the on switch. I listened to voices chatter about the next song they were about to play; and a loud poppy song began to blast from the speakers. I quickly switched the station. I flicked through talk shows, gardening shows, and some more music programs. I stopped at a station that was playing a song that I knew. I sat quietly and listened, until the song came to an end. This show had a soft-spoken announcer, “The next song is Cavanaugh Park, by Something Corporate.” He practically whispered.
The song began to play. The soft sound of a piano wafted from the speakers. I turned up the volume.
At Cavanaugh Park,
Where I used to sit,
All alone in the dark,
And dream about things,
That I cannot say,
You always said destiny,
Would blow me away,
And nothing's gonna blow me away,
The words caught my attention, and I listened intently.
At Cavanaugh Park,
Where you used to take me,
To play in the sand,
And said to me, "Son, one day you'll be a man,
And men can do terrible things."
Yes they can,
---
“Give it to me quickly.” I spat. The elderly man cowered under the barrel of my gun. I watched the door warily while I kept the gleaming weapon pointed at him as he searched in the drawers behind the counter. I looked back and he held out a parcel wrapped in rough brown paper, his gnarled hands trembling. I looked down at the shaking figure, his face bent low. “Look up. Look up at me. “, I spoke coldly. He raised his head slowly, his lip quivering and his old, dull eyes wide and frantic. “P-please. Just take it and leave us be.” He whispered shakily. I grasped the package and pulled it roughly away from him. I turned, and walked towards the door of the store. But just as I reached the door and took the handle, I paused. “I apologise. But you saw my face.” I whipped around and pulled down on the trigger; a piercing shot shattered the quiet of the small room. I heard a cry from the other room, and I flung the door open and fled. I climbed onto my motorbike and drove away; trying to drown out the sounds and cries of grief as a woman wept next to the body of her husband.
“Oh yes, they can.” I said quietly to myself, repeating the words.
And there was never any place,
For someone like me to be,
Totally happy,
I'm running out of clock and that,
Ain't a shock,
Some things never do change,
Never do change,
--
“No! He beat me again!” I fumed. Near, that albino prick. He’d gotten perfect score. Me, 99.5%. I growled to myself. How could I have made such a ridiculous mistake?
But it was the same as all the other times. I was brilliant; I was a genius at school from a young age; when I still had parents. But for my dad, that wasn’t good enough for him. “MIHAEL! What is this?! A letter from the school! You’re getting bullied, huh?” he roared. “Only cowards get bullied! No son of mine will be a coward! You hear me?!”He spat angrily at me, “I want no more of these letters! I don’t care if you kill those kids. But you will not be a coward!” He lashed out at me with his fist; I was too slow. His knuckles collided with my skull, delivering a dizzying pain as I stumbled back and fell against the wall. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to those bullies at that time. Either way, I lost.
-
And now at Wammy’s, I was being beaten again. By a child, younger than me; it was so unfair.
It’s just that, I try, I try so hard. Near does nothing. I tried hard for my father too. But no.
“I WAS JUST NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!”
I screamed at the pin board, which displayed the scores of the week, mocking me with the little white haired kid’s name, just above mine. The goal was so close but yet so far away.
The other children backed away from me as I raged. But what I really wished was that they didn’t do that. I wished for somebody I could tell, somebody that would understand. Somebody that would tell me that it would be okay, somebody to tell me to just keep pushing on. I’d never had that before, and I needed that. But no, there was nobody here that could be that somebody for me.
“There never was a place, was there?” I continued to whisper softly.
At Cavanaugh Park,
We used to get high,
Watching teams as they fought,
They loved my friend Adam,
But he always got caught,
Man, that kid made fucking up look cool,
Aren't we all so cool now? No.
---
But then Matt came to Wammy’s.
---
And there was never any place,
For someone like me to be,
Totally happy,
I'm running out of clock,
And that ain't a shock,
Some things never do change,
Never do change,
--
I chuckled lightly as 12-year-old Matt fell backwards with a moan, the words “GAME OVER” flashing on the television screen. “I lost! That’s impossible! No!” Matt shouted as he waved his arms frantically at the screen. He heard me laughing and his head whipped around, his red hair falling into his eyes. I laughed more as he tried to blow it out of his face. He looked so frustrated; cheeks flushed and his arms flailing. And that was hilariously cute.
“Come on Matt. It’s just a game.”
“No! This is important!” he pouted and folded his arms.
“Fine.”I retorted, before leaping forward, tackling him onto the ground and engulfing him in a hug. He squeaked before sliding his arms around me, returning the gesture.
“Better, Mattie?”I questioned. A muffled giggle came from slightly squashed best friend. I smiled.
“No, some things never change…”
Never do change,
Never do change,
Never do change,
---
“No… No. No! He can’t be dead! He’s L for fuck’s sake! L!” I screamed at Roger, who had backed up against the wall with a scared look on his face. “I’m sorry Mello. But this is real.” He spoke, keeping his gaze steady.
“You never really cared anyway, did you, Roger? You never cared about L or about the children in this orphanage!”I shouted the accusation at him.
“YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT HE MEANT TO ALL OF US!” I roared, trying to ignore the angry tears welling up behind my eyes pushing to escape. I fled from his office, running back to the room Matt and I shared.
--
I placed the note carefully on his pillow.
I wanted to write more, I did. I could’ve written an entire novel filled with what I wanted to say to Matt. But I just couldn’t.
-
At Cavanaugh Park,
Where I used to think,
That my life would be good,
And I would do things,
That I thought that I should,
And no one's going to tear me down,
---
“Why!? Why are you doing this!? YOU’RE A MONSTER!” the woman screamed as she threw herself in front of her children, her face wet and distorted with fear. I set my jaw and looked away as I pulled the trigger. Bang.
The scared, helpless cries of her children pierced deep into my heart. I raised the gun again, my hands trembling. But I had to do it. Bang. Bang. I averted my gaze from the lifeless forms splattered with rosy red. I crumpled to my knees, shaking all over. It was done. A tear escaped. But I quickly wiped it away and stood up as my men burst into the room, then froze, with a mixture of shock and horror one their faces from what they saw. They had only recently joined the mafia and this was new to them.
“It had to be done. Deal with it.” With a grim face, I picked up my gun from the floor, from where it had slipped from my hand. I spun it on my thumb and pushed it back into the loop at my belt. You need to lose the softness Mello. I told myself.
-
As soon as I stepped into my room at the base and closed the door behind me, I fell to my knees. My glove-covered hands clenched tightly as the tears came.
I had taken that mother’s life. Right in front of her children and I had taken theirs too. It hadn’t even been their fault.
But what really hurt was that was how I’d become an orphan. I understood what those children felt, as the bullet pierced their mother’s chest. As she crumpled to the floor, a red blush spreading across her clothes. I’d cried out with the same fear; I’d been the same child, crumpling slowly to the ground, sobbing with terror and crying out hopelessly as the shot was fired.
I knew what they were feeling. And I just had to take their lives too, because I didn’t want them to end up like me. My mother had been killed, but I had not. I’d spent my life in anguish, from the fact that I wasn’t taken too, and left to hurt in this life.
---
“Until L died; until I left Matt. Until all of those things happened.”
This song was just so right, so true, about so many things.
And there was never any place,
For someone like me to be,
Totally happy,
I'm running out of clock and that,
Ain't a shock,
Some things never do change,
A few salty drops slid down my cheeks. I pulled my knees up and rested my chin upon them, the tears soaking into the black material. This song, made me think so much of myself and my life. What I’d done, who I’d become.
And there was never any place,
For someone like me to be,
Totally happy,
I'm running out of clock and that,
Ain't a shock,
---
“Don’t say that Mel. Don’t ever.” Matt growled.
“Why? Why not? He’s always been better than me. Always will. Why go on?” I whispered.
“Because you are different, Mello. He’s always needed somebody else to do it for him. He’s just the brains of it all. He’s like a puppeteer, playing people on the end of strings, controlling them, but always hiding behind a curtain. Why do you think he only ever played with toys? It was because he was never able to connect to real people. Near can’t do it alone. He’s not like you. Because you have strength that he never will. You can put yourself out there, in the real world, with real people. Which is more like L than Near could ever be. L wasn’t just a genius. But even you might need someone to be there with you, to get you through. And there’s no shame in that. But you can work together with someone. Near will always work alone and I believe he will succeed. But he will never get there in the end without you.”
---
But in the end it was okay; because Matt never gave up on me.
“Mello! I’m home!” I heard him shout from the hall. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and hurried out to Matt. He was locking the door, with his back to me. I sneaked up to him and enveloped him in a hug from behind, earning a squeak of surprise from the redhead.
“Welcome back Matt.” I chuckled. He replied, “Thank you! But now you must help me take these bags to the kitchen.” He grinned at me. I complied and grabbed a few plastic bags and rushed off to the kitchen, dumping them on the counter. He came in shortly afterwards, with the rest of the shopping. He piled them onto the counter and began to sift through them and put things away in cupboards. “Do that later! I missed you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and picked him up and carried him off to the living room, him yelling in surprise.
I dropped him onto the sofa. He looked at me with a confused expression. “Let’s do something fun.” I suggested. Then I noticed that the radio was still on.
I walked over, and that song was just coming to an end. I paused with my finger hovering over the off switch.
Some things never do change,
Never do change,
Never do change,
Never do change.
As the last line of the song was sung, and the music faded softly away, I smiled to myself and flicked the switch.
I walked back to Matt who was now sitting properly on the sofa, flipping a game case in between his hands. “Halo?” He looked up at me hopefully. “Okay, I’ll play your game with you.” I laughed.
He grinned cheerfully and jumped up and scrambled to insert the game into the Xbox 360 resting on the floor.
After some time of shooting and blowing up monsters, I gave it up and Matt continued to play by himself. I watched for a little while, but became gradually annoyed at him paying me little attention. I crawled up behind him, and jabbed my fingers into his sides. “AAAUUH!” Matt flung the controller to the side and clutched at his middle, unfortunately also unbalancing himself and falling back into my lap. Goggle-tinted eyes stared up at me with a slightly bewildered expression.
I pulled him up onto the sofa, so he was sitting on my lap and I leaned back into the cushion.
I reached over to the table nearby and snatched a chocolate bar, then Matt’s black Nintendo DS.
I dropped the DS into Matt’s lap before proceeding to tear open the chocolate wrapper with my teeth.
Two hours and many chocolate bars later, we were still lying on the sofa. Matt was now curled up against me, and I had laid my head on his, his soft hair tickling my face as he furiously tapped buttons on his DS. But every now and again his eyes would flicker away from the game screen, and I would catch him staring at me with his wide green eyes.
We’d spent the time in silence, but I knew we were both feeling the same thing. The same contentment of having this close contact, and just the feeling of knowing we have each other.
As the end credits flashed up on the screen of his DS, he turned to me and his eyes twinkled as he smiled.
There was something about that smile, something about those eyes; that made me smile too. Nobody else could make me smile back like this; nobody else could make me feel like this.
As I lay in my bed my mind whirred with thoughts, so as I hard as I tried, I was unable to fall asleep.
I heard the door creak open and somebody tiptoe in. I smiled as he slid into bed next to me, and I felt his thin arms slide around my waist and hug me close. I felt my heart thud as his soft lips grazed my forehead in a goodnight kiss. A warm feeling bubbled up inside me, and I could feel myself melting, relaxing against him as my eyes slipped shut.
Nobody else had ever filled the empty hole in my chest.
Nobody else had ever stood by me when I had been lost to the world.
Nobody else had ever made me forget so much, that I moved forward from the past.
Nobody else had ever seen through my act.
Nobody else could have.
No.
Nobody but Matt.
*~*~*~*
There was never any place for someone like Mello, to be totally happy.
And some things never do change.
But with Matt, Mello found a place, somewhere, where he could truly be happy.
In this world and any other, as long as they were together.
<3
The End.
…As far as has been told in this story.
---
I hope you enjoyed it.
Thank you for reading. :3
