I LOVE to write. I always do when I'm bored or if there's a feeling I want to broadcast. But yea, I write a lot and I guess that it's ok to post it here on TheOtaku. Hope you'll appreciate! and please drop by some comments, too! :D thaaaanks.

The MELANCHOLY Between the Two of Us

Lance

A cloudy Sunday afternoon. This is the type of weather she loves so much. It's been 4 days and I still kept on thinking about us. About how it ended just like that. So fast, faster than a blink of an eye.
I was driving my car while I suddenly got a text message. It was from her elder sister.
"Hey, have you seen Lei? We already need to go to church. If you're with her, please tell her to just go to church all by herself. Thanks! :D"
I guess her sis doesn't know yet..

But no, she's not with me. And I hope she's not where I think she is.

I drove straight to their subdivision. I was wondering if I'll find her there. The place I'm talking about is OUR PLACE. It is a somehow hidden garden near their house. Only the two of us know where it's at and only the both of us cleaned it ourselves when we found it. This is the place where we used to hang out when there was still.. uhm, US. Where we used to sit, lay down on the grass, laugh at senseless things, play guitar, sing or just be together.

I parked at the corner of the hidden garden, hid behind the tall grass to see if she's there.

Well guess what? SHE IS. I stared at her for sometime. I was looking at her every move. She was sitting under the tree where we carved our names. Her guitar on her lap and a notebook on her guitar. She was writing again. I still looked at her as she scribbled down her notebook. Yes, she has lots of these notebooks where she put all of her feelings in. She writes whenever she needs to let her feelings out.

But something's wrong. I just know it. Even though my legs ate starting to itch from the tall weeds, I still kept on looking at her. She was scribbling something furiously on her notes and I saw her eyes getting filled with tears, then a drop fell to her notebook and she tore the page. Then she just broke down. She let out painful sobs. Every sob that she muster from her lips pierced my heart. I can't stand just looking at her so miserable.

I let my feet do the talking. Then I just found myself, in front of her. She didn't notice at first. Then she looked up. Her eyes are bulging from heavy crying, her tears smudged the ink on the page, her guitar, still on her lap.

"Hey." It is all that I could say that time. She looked at me, in seeming disbelief. "What are you doing here?" She said. "I.... Don't know." Then I looked away. I felt stupid. When I looked at her, she's looking at the strings of her guitar, then she smiled. "I miss this." she mustered. "I was walking randomly when my stupid feet brought me here." she continued as her tears flow down her face. I sat beside her, removed her already wet glasses and put my arms around her. I can't take this. She's bearing too much pain. She tried pushing me away as she cried uncontrollably, but I held on to her longer. It was a heavy drama scene.

She finally calmed down a bit after an hour. Her head resting on my shoulder, my arms around her. Then she stood up, wiped her tears away then laughed. Then she cried again. I begged her not to cry. To just please stop and just smile for me. It's so evident that she felt so much pain. I comforted her some more then she moved away a bit.

"I need to go. My mom will kill me if she gets home first." Then she turned around. Ok, what a LAME excuse. But I quickly stood up, held her left hand and said, "Wait, won't you stay here for just a little while? Your eyes are still bulging, you look like a frog, you know?" when there was still us, she would laugh at that joke every time she cries and I try to cheer her up. She smiled bitterly, removed her hand from mine, then walked away. I guess there's no us anymore..

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Lei

I need to take a break. I just need to.. I don't know what to think anymore and my mind is full of jumbled things. I went out of our house, bringing my guitar and compilation of stories. I walked randomly, without direction. And after a short while, I just found myself standing in our secret garden.

I went to the tree where we carved out names together. I touched the rough trunk. I remembered all of it. The laughs, cries, and talks here. I sat down on the damp grass, under out tree and decided to write a new story.

While I am writing, I realized that i was really missing him, and all those times we had together. I started writing but all I could think of was him, the pain that I was feeling, and US. I felt my tears flood my vision and a teardrop escaped from my eye and smudged the ink on my notebook. I tore the page in sheer desperation and misery and just let out all the sadness. I felt like I was bearing all the sadness in the world, and I just want to let it all out. I let out painful sobs which really hurt my chest and heaved all the bad feelings out. I must not be suffering like this. I decided on this and I am not turning back. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so... INCOMPLETE without him.

Then I heard a voice. "Hey.." he said. When I looked up, I was shocked, of course. but then I said "what are you doing here?" "I.... Don't know." He replied. He then looked away and I stared at my guitar. Then I smiled. and said "I miss this. I was walking randomly when my stupid feet brought me here." I tried to hide my tears but they betrayed me. My tears just flowed down and I can't stop them.

He appreached slowly and sat down beside me. He put an arm around me, in a protective and caring way. I tried pushing him away. Not because I don’t want him to comfort me, but because I’m afraid that he'd see me like this. So miserable. Amidst me pushing him away, he held on tighter. I thought it was only in drama TV shows that these scenes would happen, but I thought wrong.

After a while, I stood up, wiped my tears away and decided to go home. But then, I started crying again. He begged me not to cry. He was looking at me like he was suffering from seeing me like this..

But I finally got the strength to go home. He stopped me on my way by holding on to my hand. "Wait, won't you stay here for just a little while? Your eyes are still bulging, you look like a frog, you know?" that was our private joke. Because every single time I cry on his shoulder, my eyes would bulge and he always say that I look like a frog.

I just smiled, remembering everything since the day we first met then turned around.

I’ve decided that I will end this. I have already decided that and it’s too late to turn back now. I knew that time that I did hurt him. I refused to look back after that because I was afraid that I will not be able to stop myself from going back to him.