I spoke into the silence about everything; leaving home to start this journey, meeting everyone, Seifer’s death, the news about Zidane, and finished with Gildas’s…passing. Nobody interrupted me, and my voice grew hoarser and hoarser as I went on. I finished rather lamely, just saying, “and now you’re all here, I guess…” but still nobody spoke. I looked around nervously at everyone, still expecting a punch or an angry outburst from someone. I looked over at Vivi, who was staring at the floor with his giant eyes. I went to take a step forward, but stopped myself at the last minute. Somehow, I ended up overbalancing completely and crashed to the floor. Riku ran forward to help, but I was already up, brushing myself down angrily. I knew I was clumsy, but that was just plain stupid.
After Haru had explained everything, I felt… sorry for her. I’d shouted at her, and she’d been through so much. The sun was already setting through the west window, and I stepped forward and bowed slightly. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I didn’t realise.” She’d grown in height since I last saw her, now that I think about it. I ran forward and hugged her legs, and she stuttered for a moment, before patting my head slightly. I knew that we both needed someone to hug us more than anything, and she shared my pain. Zexion was silently whimpering in the corner, tears streaked down his face. He really did love Gildas… a lot…
I sat back down on the side of the bed, wiping my eyes slightly. And then it hit me. “Wait- What happened to Sephiroth?” Haru and Riku jumped, and Zexion looked up suddenly. “He disappeared… Damn it!” Zexion pounded his fist against the wall. Riku’s comforting look twitched ever so slightly. Zexion moved to the doorway. “Zexion, where are you going?” He shouted back, pure hatred in his voice. “Don’t bother, Haru. Don’t even try and stop me. Sephiroth is going to die by my hand. Now.” He stormed out. Haru walked on after him. “You can’t leave office now, it’s…” She finished half-heartedly. Walking back in, she shrugged slightly. “Someone should go with him…” We all looked around. I was the first to speak. “Zexion may not be strong… but this is his battle. He must fight it alone.”
I nodded at Vivi’s words; they reminded me of something Gildas had once said…although who or what about, I had no clue. But the unadulterated loathing in Zexion’s voice had shaken me. As if reading my mind, Riku draped one arm around my shoulders. “It wasn’t aimed at you,” he whispered, “he’s angry at himself and Sephiroth. But not you.” I closed my eyes. He would have every right to be angry at me, and I knew that. Riku’s words weren’t going to calm me at all.
I sank down onto the bed, suddenly feeling weak again, and addressed Vivi. “So why are you here? I’m sorry if you already mentioned it, but my head…isn’t always switched on at the moment.” I didn’t know how else to say it. But now, while there were no guards present, I could speak however I wanted to, and I relished being able to talk without Received Pronunciation, and sit without having to straighten my back.
I looked a little ashamed. “Well, mainly we came to talk to you about your actions…” Haru looked down at the floor. “But there is one thing I need to ask, now that I think about it.” She looked up again, hope flashing across her trembling features. “You haven’t unlocked Death yet, have you?” She shook her head. I grinned slightly. “Yes you have.”
Her Majesty Haru looked confused (and not from my spell). “You see, Death is unlocked by a feeling of deep hatred and contempt, but love is also a prerequisite. This way, evil people cannot get hold over its power. Having to kill Gildas would have given you the deep hatred and contempt for Sephiroth, and yourself, but you also still Love him.” She looked more confused. “I never loved Gildas…” I shook my head. “Not in the traditional sense. You never wanted to marry him, but there was always a feeling that he was your older brother, wasn’t there? Always a sense that he’d protect you, keep you safe. You always looked up to him to lead the way for you, light your path. In a sense, he was the closest family you had.” As I spoke, Haru seemed to reflect on the past, staring at a corner of the room with watery eyes. “Now he’s gone, and you hate yourself for it, because you loved him. That is what Death is all about.”
Haru nodded silently, King Riku rubbing her shoulders. “Zexion is a White Mage, right? He’ll be fine. But there’s one thing I’ve noticed about you, Haru.” Quistis looked up sharply. “Of course! Holy!” Haru wiped her eyes a little, and Quistis became suddenly alive with knowledge. “Vivi has a very good point here, Haru. You learned Holy! That’s the most powerful White Magic spell going! Yes, you heard correctly; White Magic. You failed to revive Gildas as he was too far gone, but that doesn’t mean the spell wouldn’t have worked on anyone else! You aren’t a Black Mage, like Vivi… You’re a Red Mage!”
I looked up at Quistis. What the hell was a Red Mage? Why did people just expect me to know what they meant when they said something like that? She was looking at me expectantly, and I stood up, noticing that I was a touch taller than her. I flicked my hair back gently, and smiled calmly. “Okay, well…that’s good to know,” I laughed, “so if that’s all? I have some papers to sign or something, most likely.” I walked out of the room with my head held high, ignoring the confused stutters behind me.
Riku jogged up behind me. “…What was all that about?” he asked. I shrugged. “Who knows? I don’t care, either. I don’t know what a Red Mage is, but I do know that I have other stuff to be worrying about. I never even use my magic anymore, since…” Riku nodded. He could tell what was coming next. I stopped walking suddenly, so that Riku stumbled into me. As I turned to face him, I noticed he looked worried, so my eyes fell to the floor in shame. “…I have to tell you something.” The words were struggling to form; I couldn’t put important sentences together properly anymore. “Since…you know. Since then, I haven’t…I can’t…I haven’t been able to…My magic doesn’t work properly.” I mumbled.
Riku’s look of horror made me turn away quickly, but he pulled my face back to him. “What do you mean, ‘doesn’t work properly’?” he demanded. I gazed at him sadly, and with a flick of my hand said, “Fire.” The resulting fire in my hand was feeble, and flickered and died almost straight away. Careful not to fall into his shockingly green eyes, I walked away from him. He followed after me, but when I got into the lift it had ascended before he could get on. The look of sadness in his eyes felt like it pierced my heart, and I had to lean on the side of the lift to stay upright.
I looked confusedly after her. Didn’t she realise? She’s a Red Mage! She can use both Black and White magic, possibly making her the best ruler Lindblum will ever have! Odd though, when Quistis mentioned magic Haru just seemed to switch off… I wonder if Haru is keeping up with her studies…
Squall and Freya had stayed silent, Freya only making any sounds when Zidane’s name had been mentioned, and Squall seemed to be totally mute. With Her Majesty’s leave, we considered ourselves unwanted, and so we began to head for the entrance. Then we heard something that shook us. King Riku grunted slightly, and fell to the floor in the corridor ahead. In front of him was someone I didn’t recognize, but evidently Quistis did. The shock of hair ran away, leaving Riku huddled in pain on the floor. Quistis shook her head. “No way…”
I stumbled through the castle hazily, ignoring everyone around me until I got to mine and Riku’s room. Snapping the door shut behind me and locking it, I slid down the wall, cradling my aching head in my shaking hands. I looked around the room, at the ornate bed, the intricate drapes and tapestries, the delicate cushions and throws. Thinking back to Destiny Islands, with its sandy beach and cosy, wooden hut, I couldn’t hold back the torrent of tears anymore. Slowly, I stood up and walked over to the bed, resting my hands on its soft sheets. And then I just snapped. I threw everything around blindly, tearing the curtains off their pole and breaking more than one spindly ornament. Looking around at the chaos that had been the royal chambers, I was shuddering violently. I slipped into the dark wardrobe and huddled up in a dark corner, rocking myself to try and stop the crying.
We ran over to the King, who lay crumpled on the floor. Turning him over, we found no visible injury, but he clung to himself like a child. As we lay him flat, he howled in agony, and Quistis spoke. “He’s been punched. Yes, just punched, but very hard. He’ll have internal bruising, and bleeding if we aren’t lucky. We need to find Haru; she’s the only one who can cure him now.”
We dragged him to the elevator and Quistis looked at me quizzically. I simply pushed the top button. Elevators were always the same. After we reached the top floor, the guards immediately rushed forward. “Just get Queen Haru, now! Quistis called, as Squall silently dragged the King forward.
