“Charlotte, I… I don’t wanna interrupt anything, but… We have news. Rin wouldn’t tell me without you. He said we both need to hear it together. So… whenever you’re ready, take as long as you need. And I know I already asked but… please… just eat something, a biscuit, a slice of bread and butter, just… Don’t let yourself get a figure like mine.” I hobbled back into the living room, the pain of walking a little less bad. A few minutes later, Charlotte entered the room and Brother handed her a plate with a sandwich on it. She took it, grudgingly, and picked at the sandwich, biting at the edges, but making definite progress with it.
“Okay. Steven, Charlotte, what you’re about to hear will shock you, and may not be the best thing to say in the current situation. However, we feel you need to know.” Rin clasped his hands to his temples, sighing softly and looking at me sadly. “We have received information that Mitsu was receiving orders from… From Mr and Mrs Jones.” Charlotte’s eyes widened in surprise and I looked incredulously at Rin, shaking my head slowly. “I’m sorry. But we’ve received several reports that link the two together. There’s…no other explanation.”
Charlotte flipped her gaze down to her food, which she put to the side and pushed away. I, however, stood up. “You’re wrong. Dad would, but Mum? No way. She’d never do that. I know you’re wrong.” Rin shook his head, and George took my hand. “You are. I know it. I’m not on Intelligence for nothing. And my code name is L for a reason, too. Show me the reports.” Rin lowered his head and Rikku and Brother looked at each other. “NOW!” I shouted, and Rikku jumped at the harshness of my voice. I was not going to wait a second later to prove them wrong. Rin rose, walking to the bookcase in the corner and pulled out a thin book, causing the bookcase to slide backwards and into the wall, revealing a set of stairs. Rikku and Brother followed him down them, and bade me go with them. I followed silently, the bookcase sliding shut behind me.
I sat picking at the sandwich while the others spoke. Their words just passed over me completely, and this food made me want to gag. I wasn’t hungry, and I wished people would just get the message and stop forcing food on me. “…Mitsu was receiving orders from…Mr and Mrs Jones,” Rin was saying. Those names all meant something to me, I knew that…Hearing them together must be important, I knew that. But I couldn’t put any more thought to it, because hearing Mitsu’s name brought on an involuntary reaction. I felt my eyes threaten to cry, so pushed my unwanted food away and curled up in a ball, my arms cinched around myself again.
Steven’s voice grew harsher and louder, but it was nothing more than an angry buzzing to me. I watched mildly as meaningless words brought on strange reactions, and then Rin, Rikku, Brother and Steven all filed out down some stairs. I didn’t remember those stairs being there before, and yet I hadn’t seen them appear…it made sense when a bookcase clicked into place in front of them, shutting George and I off from the others – as much as anything made sense these days.
“Well, this is awkward,” George laughed uneasily. I looked over at him, slightly confused. Could I feel enough of anything right now to feel awkward or embarrassed? My gaze returned to the floor as George picked up my plate and dumped it in the sink. I could tell he felt…anxious without knowing where Steven was. He was keeping busy much the way I tried to yesterday. “Umm…do you want…something to eat?” he asked nervously. I stared at him blankly. Didn’t I say that I didn’t want food? Or was that just a thought that I hadn’t shared? He shrugged when I stayed quiet, and sat down on the sofa, near where I was curled up on the floor. “Erm,” he started again, “I just…look, I want to be nice and all, since you are Steven’s sister, but…well, you aren’t making it easier for me.” I tried to understand his words. I had just killed the man I loved, and yet I was the one who had to make it easier on him? Somehow, that didn’t seem quite right.
“I know that you’re upset, and I guess it’s kinda right for you to be,” George said, more harshly than before. I wasn’t sure that upset was really the right word, but I didn’t interrupt him. He continued, “But you ought to be a bit nicer to everybody; they’re trying to help. Or if you aren’t nice to everyone, then…try to be nice to Steven. He’s upset, and I can’t help him. I don’t even know why he’s upset.” Of course this wasn’t about me. This was about Steven. I stared intently at the carpet, wishing these words meant nothing to me. “You…really should stop thinking about him,” George was saying, “And you should probably stop wearing his shirt. You should stop thinking about Mitsu.” I stood up mechanically. “Don’t say his name,” I whispered, “Don’t you dare say his name. You don’t – didn’t – know him, and you don’t know me. So don’t talk to me about him. Don’t say his name.” I wanted my words to hurt him, the way his hurt me, but I couldn’t get enough strength to inflict any damage.
“Just…shut up and wait for Steven to come back. Just shut up,” I whispered lamely, walking back to my room jerkily. Once the door was securely locked, I sat on the floor, careful to put myself facing away from the bed. I looked down at my shirt. It was looking a little…threadbare already. Maybe I should change it. But I didn’t want to lose my last piece of him…Making a snap decision that was probably irrational, I strode out of my room and past a moping George. He started to stutter protests, but I cut him off. “Don’t tell anyone I’m gone. I’ll be back before anyone notices,” I ordered, slamming the front door behind me. Outside, the pavement was cold beneath my bare feet, but I barely noticed.
