6: Hospital Visits
Sasuke was pacing in front of the ER, waiting for Lady Tsunade to come out and give him word that Sakura was okay, that she was awake. He didn’t know how long he had been waiting, but it was long enough for almost the whole village to come and fill up the waiting room. Even Gaara, Kankuro, and the hardly ever seen Shikamaru and Temari came to see how Sakura was doing.
Sasuke had felt a little too crowded in the waiting room, so he was pacing in the hallway, right in front of the ER. If she didn’t make it… he couldn’t even think about it. He let out a breath and ran his hand through his thick hair. What he wouldn’t give to be in the room, holding her hand.
Please, God, let her be safe. I’ll get on my hands and knees and beg! Please let her be okay. I’ll give up being a ninja; I’ll never lie again. I’ll confess my feelings as soon as she wakes up. I’ll do anything if only I could see her emerald eyes upon my face. I’ll even be fine if things went back to how they had been, with her hating me. Just let her come out of this safe and sound.
As Sasuke was silently talking to a God he didn’t even really know existed, the light to the ER turned off and Tsunade walked out into the hall, a grim look upon her face. Sasuke saw the look right away and thought his heart would stop. Something was wrong. Oh, please God, no.
“Sasuke-” she started, not sure how to tell him the news. Bad news was always hard to give.
“Is she awake yet?” Sasuke interrupted. He didn’t want to give her a chance to tell him what he didn’t want to hear.
“No, and if things keep progressing the way they are, it’s likely that she won’t ever wake up,” Tsunade answered solemnly. “We are transferring her to a intensive care room. You can stay with her as much as you want. I won’t limit you to visiting hours, not now.” She shook her head. “I’ll go give everyone the news. Just follow the nurses.”
“Wait, tell me what’s wrong with her,” Sasuke insisted. He couldn’t figure out why Sakura wasn’t snapping out of it like he had.
Tsunade took a deep breath before continuing, “The jutsu that was placed on her makes the victim live out their worst fears. They suffer from a panic attack which will stop the heart and kill them. I have seen this only once before, and it moves through four stages.”
Sasuke waited for her to continue, knowing he wasn’t going to like it.
“Stage one is called the Internal Stage. It’s where everything just happens inside her head. She thinks everything is real, believes she is actually going through it. This was the only stage you were in. Stage two is called the Raging Stage, in which she might start talking out loud, yelling, screaming. Stage three, the External Stage is where her vision becomes violent and anything that happens in her mind forms on her body. If she breaks a leg, her leg will snap. Stage Four is the Ending Stage, where she dies. She just started in on the second stage. By tonight the third stage will have set in. By tomorrow morning, she’ll be out of reach. I won’t be able to save her.”
Sasuke felt like someone had shoved a knife to his chest. “Is there no chance she could wake up? Why could I?” He shook his head in frustration and confusion.
“She could wake up at any time. She just needs to realize that it isn’t real, that it’s an illusion.” With that, she left.
As Tsunade left Sasuke to follow the nurses moving Sakura, she couldn’t believe she was letting that traitor near her promising pupil. But, she could tell by the look on his face that he truly cared for her, that he loved her. She could see all the regret, pain, and anguish hidden behind the mask he had created, which had fallen off completely tonight. To think the young Uchiha had feelings other than superiority. She shook her head again and went to give the others the news.
Sasuke sat on a chair at the edge of Sakura’s bed, running his hand over her bare arm. “No. Please, no.” she whispered as the machines connected to her beeped and chirped.
Sasuke froze. She wasn’t talking to him, she was still in her paranormal state. He kissed her palm, then flipped her hand over gently and kissed the other side. It scared the crap out of him, knowing that she was in pain, that he was helpless to do anything for her. It killed him that he couldn’t help her fight this, that he just had to sit there and watch her.
He wanted to tell her everything he felt for her, confess. But she couldn’t hear anything while in her coma like state. Though, he thought he should practice, so, taking her hand in both of his, he started.
“Sakura, I know you probably hate my guts right now, and I don’t blame you for a minute. I deserve it all, but can I say that I was a dumb teenage who didn’t know as much as he said did? I was always pushing you away, and you thought I hated you. Truth is, I never hated you. Don’t tell anyone, but I was afraid of you. Afraid that you’d look into my soul and see what everyone else didn’t, that I was a bratty twelve year old searching for companionship though I was afraid to let anyone in; I was afraid they would leave me too. But, now I see that without risks, you don’t get anywhere.”
He took a deep breath. “This is a lot easier than I thought it would be.” Sasuke smiled slightly. “I have a confession to make, I didn’t leave you behind because I wanted to. I left you to save you. I didn’t want you to get involved with Orochimaru. Sure, I was going to him for power, but once I got that I would kill him and move on. I never expected to come back to you hating me. I was just so used to you hovering and following me everywhere I went that I just took it for granted that you would always feel that way. I was barely a teenager than, and I was stupid. I’d like to say that I’m different now, that I’ve changed.”
She just mumbled in her “sleep.” He laced his fingers through hers. “I came back with one purpose, and one purpose only. I didn’t care if everyone else hated me, just so long as you didn’t. But, when I came back everything was change, reversed. When I found out that you had moved to the Sand Village, I almost took off to find you. Sakura, I can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t want to try. Without you, there is no purpose to my existence.”
His heart was in a flurry for reasons he didn’t know. He knew she couldn’t hear him. But he was hopeful. “I was hoping that on this mission I would get the chance to show you that I really did care for you, but you’ve always been a pistol. I think deep down those feelings are still there, you’re just afraid to let them bubble to the surface. I would do anything for you.
“And what I want more than anything is for you to open your eyes, even if they shoot daggers at me… if only to see your eyes again. Please, just please wake up! I will do anything for you.”
He blinked back the tears that he would not let fall. “I love you,” he whispered softly, gently kissing her on her lips. He pulled away and looked longingly at her perfect face.
A knock sounded on the door, and Temari sauntered into the room, that air of independence followed her everywhere she went, he noticed. “How’s she doing?“ She was dressed in a black blouse and nice khaki pants, a look that only a true friend would bare on her face. She sat at the base of Sakura’s bed and took in Sasuke’s grave face.
Sasuke shrugged, never taking his eyes off of Sakura’s. What he wouldn’t do if only she would open her eyes. If only she would jump up and say “Psych! I’m just playing with you!” Psht. As if that would happen.
“Sasuke, what are you doing?” she asked simply, firmly, bluntly. Glancing up at her, he saw her mouth set in a straight line, her eyes narrowed, her brows furrowed. She always one for saying whatever was on her mind. He had no idea that Sakura and Temari had gotten to be such good friends.
He frowned. “I’m here for Sakura. For moral support. Same reason you are, actually.” Why would she ask such a dumb, rhetorical question?
“No, I know that. I mean, why are you doing this to yourself. You know she hates your guts. And, as far as anyone can tell, you don’t care about anyone or anything but yourself and your rise to power. No offense,” she replied, shrugging. She didn’t seem the least bit upset about offending him. How Shikamaru put up with her was beyond him. Opposites attracted.
He shrugged, not sure how to answer. What was the correct response? He wanted to just grunt, like he always used to, and hope she would get the hint and leave. But, he knew she would just keep pestering him until he caved.
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. There was a feeling in his chest, a feeling he had never felt before. He found himself wishing that Sakura and him were reversed, so that he could take all the pain away from her.
“Well, I do. You’re in love with her. It’s as plain as day. Everyone can see it. The only thing I don’t understand is why you continue to keep pursuing her even after she tells you she doesn’t want to see you anymore,” Temari shook her head like an over protective friend.
Sasuke looked away, afraid to meet her searching gaze, afraid she would find the confirmation she wanted.
“Look, I don’t have anything against you except for the fact that you left Sakura alone and confused and hurt. That doesn’t sit well with me. But, after I have seen the love that emanates from your eyes, I know how much you deeply care for her, no matter what you might say. I will help you by talking to her when she wakes up.” He noticed she said when not if.
He only nodded and looked back at Sakura. She was still talking, but he was only listening to Temari.
“But…” Of course, there were always buts. “If you hurt her, she won’t be the only one hurting.”
“Look,” Sasuke burst. He didn’t want to keep taking it. Temari didn’t think he would really care for her, but he would. He did. “I care about Sakura more than my own life. I would gladly take her pain if only she would open her eyes. I’d die to protect her. So, don’t give me the crap that I don’t care and that I’m out to hurt her.” Sasuke was shouting now.
He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Just as Temari was about to say something more, Sakura called out his name. “Sasuke….” She frowned in her coma like state. “Please don’t leave. Wait. No… No…” It sounded as though she was awake, but dare he get his hopes up? “Don’t do it!” Her voice was on the verge of hysterics.
Suddenly her heart monitor started making more, louder beeping noises. Her heart was speeding up. Temari was on her feet and out the door before Sasuke was comprehending what was taking place.
“NO! Please, stop!” Sakura screamed as a bruise started forming on her rosy cheeks. She started grunting and thrashing about. Sasuke had to restrain her so that she wouldn’t fall off the bed.
Tsunade rushed in and took in the situation. “There is nothing I can do, except heal the injuries that she sustains. She has moved into the third stage.” Tsunade took her place opposite Sasuke and healed the bruise that formed on her cheek.
Then, a slash mark appeared on her left arm, drenching Sasuke’s clothes in her blood. Sasuke never was queasy at the sight of blood, but upon seeing her lose blood, he wanted to vomit.. to crawl under a rock.
She was bucking and twisting, trying to get away from whoever was attacking her in her dreams, or nightmares. A snap rang out like a tree falling in a library. Sakura screamed in pain, clutching her stomach.
“Her ribs!” Tsunade exclaimed as she was healing the slash, she quickly moved to the broken ribs.
Suddenly, everything was happening at once. Bruises were appearing everywhere, blood was spewing out of her arms and stomach, her leg was broken as was her arm.
Oh, dear God, please let a miracle happen and let her survive! Sasuke pleaded through tears.
