8: Way More than Okay
Her first reaction was to punch him, and she would have if everyone in the room hadn’t started screaming that she was awake and smothering her in hugs, but she took in his tears and had second thoughts. It seemed as if the whole village was crammed into the little room, pushing Sasuke away from her, and Sakura lost sight of him. Sakura was so utterly confused; she couldn’t figure out how she was alive.
The last thing she remembered was Sasuke trying to kill her. Then she had realized it was all in her head, but why then did she have all the broken bones to prove what had happened? And, why was Sasuke crying over her? He hadn’t cared before, why had that changed?
“Sakura, thank God!” Tsunade said after ordering everyone to clear out of the room. Only she remained with Sakura. “We were so worried. We though you had died!”
“I thought so too. What happened?” Sakura asked never more thankful to see Tsunade‘s tear stained face.
Tsunade explained the stages to the Jutsu. “That must have been one heck of a nightmare. What did you dream about?”
Sakura looked away; she didn’t want to answer. She wasn’t ready, not yet. No one would understand.
“Okay, I get it. But, just so you know, Sasuke was the one that found you and brought you here. He never left your side. He was with you the whole way. When the physical signs started to show, you should have seen how it tore him up. He isn’t as bad as you make him out to be Sakura,” Tsunade told her as she headed for the door.
“Or maybe he’s the monster I always thought he was,” Sakura whispered after Tsunade had shut the door behind her.
Sakura wanted to groan. She d hospitals. Ya, she had worked in one, but she d being the patient, showing off her weakness for all to see. Now, she would have to stay here for awhile while she healed. Wonderful, cause there was nothing for her to do to pass the time.
A knock sounded on the door, and Temari poked her head in. “Temari!” Sakura cried, thankful to see a friend.
Temari took a seat on the edge of the bed and very carefully gave Sakura a hug. “I was so worried about you. I’m just glad your eyes are finally open.”
“Me too.” Sakura smiled.
“That must have been some nightmare,” Temari commented.
“A real doozy,” Sakura agreed glancing around at all the flowers that lined the room. “Who are all the flowers from?”
Temari walked over to the baskets and vases and started reading off the names. “Ino and family. Naruto, Hinata, and family. Neji and Tenten. The handsome devil of the leaf. Me and Shikamaru. Gaara and Kankuro. Sasuke. Team 7. Another Naruto. One from Kiba. Lee. Another Ino. Sasuke. Team 8. Tsunade. Iruka. Lee. Kakashi. Asuma and Kurenei. Anko. Sasuke.” Sakura noticed the flowers from Sasuke were bigger and brighter than everyone else’s, though the ones from Lee were in second place. “You’d be surprised how many flowers Lee tried to send you. There wasn’t enough room and they had to put them in the waiting room.” Temari laughed.
“I can’t believe you came here. Gaara and Kankuro didn’t leave Suna, did they?” Sakura asked aghast as to how much trouble she had caused everyone, again.
“Gaara stayed, but I Kankuro with me, and don’t worry about it. I had to come and see you. I wasn’t about to let Shikamaru come to the hospital. That lazy old fool wouldn’t be able to talk to you woman to woman,” Temari laughed at the thought.
“But, what about Toby and Suki?” Sakura asked referring to Temari and Shikamaru‘s kids, her worries not lifted.
“Shikamaru, Choji, and Kankuro are running babysitter today. They are watching everyone’s kids while they are here at the hospital.”
Sakura wanted to groan, “Please go tell them they can go home,” she mumbled as she shifted to make herself more comfortable.” Her ribs were a bit tender yet, and her leg throbbed. She was working on healing her arm.
“Everyone but Sasuke would leave,” Temari said indifferently, watching Sakura’s expression.
“So, make him leave too. I’d rather not deal with him,” Sakura snapped, concentrating hard to heal her arm.
“Sakura, he was with you the whole time. He even snuck in here with me after hours to be with you. Look, I don’t like what he did to you eight years ago, but maybe it’s time to move on. He seems sincerely sorry; he wants to make amends, and you are making it very difficult,” Temari told her.
“I’m being difficult for him? Oh, man. What was I thinking?” Sakura said sarcastically. “It’s not like he was that way for me for all the years I’ve known him.”
“You were only twelve!” Temari pointed out frustrated. “You hardly knew what you wanted back then. You weren’t even teenagers yet. How could you possibly have known what love really was?”
“What would you know about it?” Sakura shook her head. “You weren’t there. Sasuke can do what he wants, but I know I will never go back to him again. I‘m through with his games.”
Temari let out a breath and got up, heading for the door. “You know what I think? I think you still love him, but you are afraid to let those feelings out. You are afraid to make a risk. Grow up, Sakura. Sasuke has.” With that, Temari left, shutting the door quietly behind her.
Sakura wanted to pound her head against the wall. She wasn’t still in love with Sasuke. That was impossible. And what was that all about with her not wanting to make a risk? Please, what did Temari know? Sakura was always making risks. That’s what being a ninja was all about.
It was easy for Temari because she and Shikamaru had been dating long before they got married. Temari had had a crush on him since the first moment she had seen him, but Shikamaru hadn’t broken her heart and left her to die. Temari couldn’t sympathize with her.
Sasuke grew up? Matured? That would be the day. Sighing, Sakura really thought about it. Sure, he seemed more mature and caring than before, but it was most likely all a ruse to get her to fall for him again. She would not do that again. She didn’t think her heart could take being rejected again. Not again.
He was the reason she wasn’t already settled down with a family. She had relationship issues, or so her last boyfriend said. He told her that she didn’t know how to give her heart and take the love he wanted to give her. Whatever. She didn’t need love. She had her job, and that was all that mattered to her.
Sakura closed her eyes and imagined a life with Sasuke. Would he really beat her down? Would he want to kill her if she wound up pregnant? Would her nightmare come true? What if it wasn’t a dream, but a vision of what was to come? What if it was warning her against what everyone seemed to want for her and what her heart seemed to want? Slowly, Sakura drifted off to sleep thinking of how her life would be with Sasuke taking a part in it.
When Sakura awoke, Sasuke was stroking her palm. He seemed to be lost in thought, and he looked hurt, sad.
Sakura jerked her hand away from him, and he looked up at her, startled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were awake,” he mumbled as he scooted his chair farther from her, obviously knowing how she felt about him.
“So, you can touch me while I sleep?” Sakura frowned.
“N-no, of course not,” Sasuke struggled for words.
“Whatever. Why are you here?” Sakura refused to look him in the eyes.
“I came in to check on you, but you were asleep.”
“So, you decided to watch me sleep?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you, so I decided to wait for you to wake up.”
“What do you care if I wake u ot? As far as you are concerned, you shouldn’t even be here! You left me, remember! You can’t just come back and expect me to forgive and forget. I’m not the same naïve, twelve year old you knew.”
He leaned in towards her, “Maybe that’s why I’ve fallen for you.” Sakura was stunned. She had suspected he liked her, but it was different hearing it said out loud. “I mean, when I left, I soon realized I didn’t want to stay away from you.”
“Stop,” Sakura insisted. “I don’t want to hear this.” She was afraid of what he would say and how she would react.
Sasuke ignored her and continued, “About six months after I left, I came back for a brief moment, intent on taking you with me. I went to your house and glanced into your window. You were crying, and I knew it was because I had hurt you. I figured that if I stayed away, you’d be happy, so I left. But, that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about you, because I did. I thought about you every day. I told myself I wouldn’t come back until I had matured enough so that when I did come back I would be strong enough to protect you, even from myself. Sakura, I was under the same jutsu as you, and I dreamed that you didn‘t give me that second chance, and it killed you.”
Sakura couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was about to respond when Tsunade barged into the room. “Sakura, good news. You are stable enough to leave.” Tsunade walked over to her and grabbed the broken arm and healed it the rest of the way so that it felt as good as new. “Your leg is broken too badly for me to heal it all the way. You are just going to have to get it better the old fashioned way, though the process should be quicker. Just come in for physical therapy every other day to speed it along.”
Sakura sat up and placed her leg ever so gently over the edge of the bed, wincing when her leg and ribs protested.
“As for you ribs, those are just sore, and they will be for a few weeks. But, you should be able to get around on these.” Tsunade handed her some crutches. “As for your living arrangements, I don’t want you by yourself, and the only place with room for you is the Uchiha compound, which will be where you are staying. It should be fun for you two.”
“I am perfectly fine with staying at my place by myself. Don’t worry about that,” Sakura protested.
“Don’t be stupid Sakura. As your hokage, I order you to stay with Sasuke so he can watch over you.”
Sakura wanted to collapse and cry. Why her? Why did everything bad always happen to her and then compound themselves on top of her?
“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let’s get you home,” Tsunade helped Sakura to her feet. With Sasuke on the other side, they made their way out of the room and down the hall. In the waiting room was Naruto, Hinata, Temari, Lee, Ino, and Kiba. They raced to her side and talked all at once about how happy they were that she was awake and well.
“Thanks guys, but I really just want to get to bed. Thanks for worrying about me and being here. I appreciate it,” Sakura found her smile wasn’t forced.
“Okay everyone, go home. I think Sasuke needs to get Sakura home,” Tsunade said. No one seemed surprised by this news. Sakura frowned. Tsunade had probably discussed it with them. Where they all trying to get Sasuke and her together?
Sakura waved goodbye and headed outside with Sasuke at her side. “So, we are going to have to walk all the way to your house?” Sakura asked, a bit put out by the thought.
“I will have to walk the whole way; you will just be along for the ride,” Sasuke answered as he whisked her off her feet, bridal style and headed home. Sakura kept a firm grip on the crutches, and refused to put her arms around his neck, as her arms seemed to want to do.
Why did she have to feel attracted to him? He had hurt her big time, and here she was falling hard and fast again. But, if her nightmare was any indication, she needed to stay away from him to protect her heart from being torn into teensy, tiny pieces all over again.
“I want to talk to you when we get to the house,” Sasuke broke the silence first with his deep, gentle voice. “About… us.”
“There is no us,” Sakura said defiantly. She was not going to make this easy for him, he hadn’t for her. She didn’t owe him a thing.
Sasuke didn’t say anything; he just looked away crestfallen. Sakura felt a pang of guilt creep into her heart like a parasite. She wanted to reach out and cup his face with her hands, but she resisted, gripping the crutches even tighter. She was not going to break down.
Sakura was afraid to admit that Temari had been right about her liking Sasuke, but being afraid to admit it to the world. She had been afraid to admit it because if she said it out loud than it would be real, and she didn’t know if she was emotionally ready for that. Would she be able to handle it?
Finally, they reached the Uchiha compound, and Sasuke carried her inside and set her gently on the sofa. He took a seat opposite her on the coffee table and fought the urge to reach over and grab her hands in his. Sakura glanced around, impressed by how spacious and homey it was. A sudden thought raced into her head. A nice place to start a family. Sakura wanted to slap herself silly. Where had that come from? She needed to concentrate on the here and now.
The whole while he had been walking, he had been trying to come up with an effective way to talk to her, to get through to her. To get her to see that he really had her best interests at hear, but how would he get her to actually listen to him?
He decided to plunge right in before he lost the nerve, “Sakura, we are both s, and I feel we should talk about his frankly. Hear me out before you go and start shouting. But, listen with your head and heart, okay? Can you do that? I’ll listen to everything you say when I’m finished talking.”
She folded her arms across her chest. She wasn’t going to make this easy for him, “Sure, whatever.”
He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “Sakura, I have fallen in love with you, and I feel that you have feelings for me, but you won’t let them out. You are afraid, afraid of me. I wish I can take back what I did to you eight years ago, but I can’t. I just want a second chance to make it up to you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to. Sakura, I’ll do anything for you. You can tell me to leave, but I don’t think I could do it. Please give me a second chance.”
Sakura wanted to believe him, she really did. But, “What if things don’t work out between us? What if we both end up hurt. Look Sasuke, you are the reason I’m not settled down. I had my life mapped out. I knew what I wanted, but ever since you left, I can’t seem to follow through with it. It’s like something won’t let me. It’s because when you left, you took a piece of my soul with you. I can’t risk hurting my heart again, I can’t take it.”
“I realize I hurt you, Sakura, I really do. Maybe by us getting together, I can put your soul back together,” Sasuke pleaded with his eyes.
Sakura gazed into those pure onyx eyes, and knew he was telling her the truth, but what if he couldn’t help hurting her. “Sasuke, I’m not going to lie, I have mixed feelings about you, and I need time to think them through and figure everything out. I can’t tell whether or not I want to give us a try or if I just want to return back home-”
Sasuke cut her off by grabbing her head and pulling her to him, pressing his lips on hers. He just heard the words returning back home and freaked. She couldn’t leave him because he didn’t think he could just let her go. Sasuke ran his hand through her silky, pink hair. His adrenaline started pumping a mile a minute, and Sasuke fought not to pressure her further.
Sakura had been caught off guard, but she melted into it opening up to him, deepening the kiss. She found herself wrapping her arms around his neck. One hand stroked her hair, the other was running along her arm. Sakura found herself wishing they could go to the next level, just to see what it would be like. She wanted him, and she wanted him now.
Sasuke found Sakura totally willing to go all the way, and he struggled with the right decision. He knew he should stop, see what she really had to say, not what her body wanted, though that was good for him, but he wanted their first time to be special.
When Sakura started tugging on his shirt, he couldn’t hold himself off and delved farther, kissing her jaw, her neck, any place he could reach just to make her his. He had always dreamed of this, but now it was coming real. existed.
