That would be excusable, and sometimes I just let things go by because it's clear she doesn't know. But other times, when I call her attention to it, she acts like it's nothing, and I don't get an apology or a promise from her that she'll try not to do it again.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
You're right, and that's true. I've just noticed that she can be cruel sometimes. She preaches all this stuff about self-acceptance and love, but makes fun of my boyfriend and one of my other friends behind their backs. Not teasing-with-love, either. It can get mean. I should at least call her on that. (Gently, so as not to make her defensive and therefore angry.) I would feel like a bad friend if I didn't at least say something in regards to that. Sticking up for myself is gonna take a lot more energy. She's allowed to be different from me, and allowed to have opinions that I don't agree with. But it's not okay if she hurts me and then acts like it's nothing. I used to think that she was right and that I'd earned every hurt. But I don't deserve that and real friends don't treat their friends as if they do.
On a side note, I'm also aware that with life comes the potential for being hurt and that everyone does get hurt. I don't think she should have to tiptoe around me to avoid hurting my feelings, but if I catch her being mean outright, I do think calling her on it is warranted.
Last edited by Sarasface at 10:03:18 PM CST on February 15, 2015.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Yes, that is the hard part, but hopefully if you had the courage to stick up for yourself once, you can do it again, and eventually, they will just realize that it's not worth it anymore. At least, that's been my hope.
Well, the thing about sticking up for yourself is that you have to follow through with it. The problem with that is that often people don't just go, "I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'll try to avoid doing it again." They get defensive. They accuse you of being overly sensitive, or a bitch, or they say you're making a big deal out of nothing. They may even laugh. So you have to kind of stick to it, and doing that means staying calm and confident in yourself. I am not these things. I get tired and insecure and start thinking "well, maybe they're right." And after all that, the drama and emotional turmoil it causes isn't worth that one act of standing up for yourself. Or at least that's what happens with me. Good luck to you, though. I know you deserve to be treated well.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
You are me. I go through the exact same thing a lot. Everyone keeps telling me to stand up for myself, but it's hard. It's not like you can just wake up one morning a completely different person being able stick up for myself. But there have been times when I have been pushed too far, and a little glimmer of the person I want to eventually be comes out, and I do stick up for myself. It's very rare, but after, it does feel good. So just know that you may not be at that place, yet, but you can get there, slowly, but surely.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/19/15 | Reply
@:
Agreed.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/18/15 | Reply
@:
I haven't wanted to give that too much consideration. However, you may be right.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/17/15 | Reply
@:
That would be excusable, and sometimes I just let things go by because it's clear she doesn't know. But other times, when I call her attention to it, she acts like it's nothing, and I don't get an apology or a promise from her that she'll try not to do it again.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/15/15 | Reply
@:
You're right, and that's true. I've just noticed that she can be cruel sometimes. She preaches all this stuff about self-acceptance and love, but makes fun of my boyfriend and one of my other friends behind their backs. Not teasing-with-love, either. It can get mean. I should at least call her on that. (Gently, so as not to make her defensive and therefore angry.) I would feel like a bad friend if I didn't at least say something in regards to that. Sticking up for myself is gonna take a lot more energy. She's allowed to be different from me, and allowed to have opinions that I don't agree with. But it's not okay if she hurts me and then acts like it's nothing. I used to think that she was right and that I'd earned every hurt. But I don't deserve that and real friends don't treat their friends as if they do.
On a side note, I'm also aware that with life comes the potential for being hurt and that everyone does get hurt. I don't think she should have to tiptoe around me to avoid hurting my feelings, but if I catch her being mean outright, I do think calling her on it is warranted.
Last edited by Sarasface at 10:03:18 PM CST on February 15, 2015.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/15/15 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
I'm going to try. I'm going to try to get a lot of exercise, too, since that seems to boost my motivation, confidence, and energy.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/14/15 | Reply
@Sarasface:
Yes, that is the hard part, but hopefully if you had the courage to stick up for yourself once, you can do it again, and eventually, they will just realize that it's not worth it anymore. At least, that's been my hope.
Sarasface
Ethereal Wanderer (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/14/15 | Reply
@DemonsandAngels:
Well, the thing about sticking up for yourself is that you have to follow through with it. The problem with that is that often people don't just go, "I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'll try to avoid doing it again." They get defensive. They accuse you of being overly sensitive, or a bitch, or they say you're making a big deal out of nothing. They may even laugh. So you have to kind of stick to it, and doing that means staying calm and confident in yourself. I am not these things. I get tired and insecure and start thinking "well, maybe they're right." And after all that, the drama and emotional turmoil it causes isn't worth that one act of standing up for yourself. Or at least that's what happens with me. Good luck to you, though. I know you deserve to be treated well.
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
DemonsandAngels
Beautiful Disaster (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 02/14/15 | Reply
You are me. I go through the exact same thing a lot. Everyone keeps telling me to stand up for myself, but it's hard. It's not like you can just wake up one morning a completely different person being able stick up for myself. But there have been times when I have been pushed too far, and a little glimmer of the person I want to eventually be comes out, and I do stick up for myself. It's very rare, but after, it does feel good. So just know that you may not be at that place, yet, but you can get there, slowly, but surely.