(Artwork found on Zerochan)

Medication Effects

A little while back, I started taking antidepressants - generic Prozac, to be specific. And when I started it, it honestly helped out a lot with my depression and aggression. However, after some time I noticed that I had a really bothersome side effect from it.

As I've explained before, I only have nightmares. I nearly never have good, simple nice dreams. But over time, I learned to merely forget them as soon as I woke up. When I started taking the generic pills, I started remembering my nightmares.

ALL OF THEM.

I woke up mentally exhausted, and even though the pills mellowed me out, I sometimes woke up sobbing because of the nightmares. They were as vivid as always, and just as violent, but now I couldn't wake myself up from them and I couldn't forget them.

The worst one that I had had a very disturbing ending.

People broke into my house and killed my entire family before my eyes, and I ran away, trying to save myself from the carnage. I ran, ran, and as I'm talking I can remember every portion of this nightmare. At some point, I hopped from vehicle to vehicle, trying to take refuge because they were still chasing me. I tucked myself away in the back of a van, hidden in a freezer, and then begged an elderly couple to hid me in their old car.

Then, late at night while I was hiding in their car, the flashes of headlights from the people who were chasing me shined on me and I couldn't shy away from it. I ran out of the car, and they started chasing me. I made it to a chain link fence and collapsed on it, unable to run anymore.

The main person who'd been chasing me walked calmly over, knelt down beside me, stared and smiled. Feeling mad, I started crying, and then I smiled.

And the dream ended.

This is the one that I woke up crying from. After this happened, I started sharing what was happening with my family, as well as other personal effects the pills were having on me, and we decided that I should change medications.

I started my new antidepressants a few days ago. And its effects are much faster than the other pills, which is already a grand improvement. My appetite is shot to hell though. I'm forcing myself to eat, and to be honest - I want to eat, but it's not good for my health, and I was excessively eating in the first place to cope with my depression. So this is a change that I need to manage, without taking it too far.

What I want to ask is: has anyone taking any kind of medication had this kind of strange side effect, or another really out of the ordinary side effect to a medication? I never knew a medication could do something like this, but if that's the case, maybe there's something out there that'll decrease the amount of nightmares that I have every night.

Thanks for reading, my friends.

Flooding, drowning

There was a group of people fighting off forces from another planet, and I was with them. They battled and battled, but then I found a hide-out that was left by another long dead person, but luckily, there was furniture, food, and each of the windows were tinted. All of my comrade hid into the place with me & sister. We all stayed there for a while, and then we got news of a sudden flooding issue - an issue no one was able to fix - something that was most likely the result of the invaders that were fighting against us.

Slowly, the water started rising and we were left without a place to go to, and stayed there. Insidously, the water rised up and began pressing on the windows. In between these moments, I had flashbacks to times when I was with my mother, including one where I was outside, about to pick a plant for her, and even talking to the nieghtbors - happier times. Then I came back into the present. For some reason, everyone had left though I had no idea how, and the only ones there were my sister (who can't walk) and myself.

Fearing the worst, I called mother on the phone, frightened- because if something happened to me, I didn't want the last thing I said to her to be negative or insignificant. However, during the conversation, she left the phone for a moment, and I started sobbing and cried out for her. Soon, she came back - and as I sobbed I peered outside and realized that whatever was holding back the water from rapidly flooding had dissipated. The water started crashing down the streets with powerful force, but there was a boat nearby, a little far out in the waters bobbing up a down from the force of waters.

Frantically, I told mother what was happening and hung up, terrified, but still trying to think of a way to get to the boat. Then the windows caved in, I realized in horror that the water was already above the house, over the roof. That's when my last realization hit me: I wouldn't be able to carry my sister to the boat, because she couldn't walk, and I wouldn't be able to swim with her weight, carrying me down. I envisioned the water sweeping her away, and then was swept away myself.

This is another one of those nightmares where I woke up crying. I've no idea why I had but, but I know that it depressed the hell out of me.

Third Entry: Murder Accomplice

Both a man and woman were killed; a person I knew broke their bodies into pieces and hid them in their apartment, until their client decided to hide them in a cemetery. However, during the wait, I began to notice whenever I visited that the woman, who's name I never learned, kept twitching, as if she were suspended between life and death, and she kept staring menacingly at me, as if she was trying to tell me that she was still alive.

It completely destroyed me, the following days- I kept thinking about it, I kept worrying that people would discover that my friend was a murderer, and that I would be considered an accomplice and that my life would crumble. The time came to bury the bodies, however, it was to be buried in my backyard, deep- near a fruit tree. As unnerved as I was at the news, I still felt relived that I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore- and began to dig. However, people kept popping in and out of the porch, reducing me into a nervous wreak, and I kept digging nervously. During my bout of nervousness- I finally woke up.

Unlike my other dreams were I am unsure what they are about, I've figured this one out. The constant worrying about something that needs to be handled? I"m obviously forgetting to handle, and worrying about something. Not only that, occasionally, in my fear, I resort to mistruths in order to shield my shortcomings. Which in the dream, I believe in represented by choosing to bury the bodies, instead of going to authorities and coming clean about the entire ordeal.

Still, this dream is just horrible. I felt disgusted the second I woke up, mainly because of the topic of death it introduces, and watching my friend talking about drying out their bodies and excess fluids sound disgustingly horrifying. Also, the dream felt like it lasted forever- like I was trapped and couldn't escape the hell it created- and now, I'm only glad that I've escaped it. Now, I only need to correct the mistake that led to the nightmare in the first place: procrastination.

Still, my brain has a sick way of letting me know things, doesn't it?

Second Entry: The Moon

A nightmare I forgot to post,

I was sitting on my bed, slightly dozing away into a brief but, creepy nightmare. My eyes closed and suddenly, I was staring into the sky- up at the moon, just watching it. I've always I've always had a fascination with the moon, and that night it was particularly bright.

Just as that thought passed by, there was a flash of light- purple light that flashed tranquilly over the skies and the brightness of the moon seemed to break away. I thought that a cloud was weaving across it, but instead, I realized that the moon was disintegrating; breaking apart. The sky turned completely black, I turned, completely startled, and sprinted away just in time to hear millions of screams of despair and then- nothing.

During the nightmare, I felt a complete sense of loss and hopelessness, more or less because I knew life couldn't exist without the moon.

I've posted finally because its become a recurring nightmare; I've had it twice now! There were a few variations in my recent one: my mother was present this time, I begged her to join me outside to see the moon because it was a violent shade of yellow/orange, something I've never seen. Just as she joined me, the moon seemed the shatter apart and it's pieces broke away silently.

This time, no one screamed.

At this point, I've no idea why this nightmare would occur twice; it seems pretty... simple? Maybe I'm worried about something, and I'm unaware? Either way, I'll update this if I have it again.

First Entry: Murder

This was the dream that disturbed me so much, that I had to make a world. Seriously. Here's what happened:

I had recently become friends with two females; they were living close to us, and I often stuck around to spend some time with their two dogs (Siberian Husky, I think?). However, recently, I was very stressed. For days I had seen a 12 year-old boy wandering through our backyard, on one occasion carrying a carving knife. I'd peer through the curtains, and finally, I freaked out-- I ran into my mother's room. I shook her awake and told her that the boy was outside again.

She anger flared, and she was preparing to rush outside and confront the boy herself. I begged her not too, and surprisingly- she listened. She backed down, and the next day I learned that one of the two dogs I liked spending time with suddenly passed away. I wasn't sure of the cause of death. But, I saw that the other dog began saddened and missed his sibling... I suspected the boy.

The two girls were leaving in a car, and I noticed that the boy was with them. Just as they were closing the door, I slid in and took a seat in front of them. I finally got a perfect look at the boy. Blonde, short/spiky hair, green eyes- very intense eyes. I dismissed the other two girls, I stared right into his eyes and revealed the fact that I knew what he had been doing for the past week. He gave me a look of surprise and brought the blade out once again.

He stabbed the girl in the neck sitting next to him- killing her quickly. He went to the other side of the car, and rushed towards him, snatched the knife out of the girl's neck, I turned it on him. I stabbed him a few times, but suddenly lost the will too. I was sickened with myself, and quickly shrunk away. The other girl, still alive, suddenly took the knife from me- she started screaming about her lost dog, and starting slashing at the boy with the knife until he was dead. The boy never made a sound.

I woke up.

I tried explaining the dream to my mother, and when I got to the part where the boy was killed, I just broke down crying. I couldn't fathom why I had such a twisted nightmare, and that any part of my brain, would be capable of dreaming of the violent death of a child.

I've no idea why I had the nightmare; it almost came out of no where, but I'm sure something triggered it. And the most interesting part? This is part of a recurring nightmare. I have a bunch of recurring nightmares; sometimes different things happen in a similar setting from another dream. I've dreamt about this person with the knife before- he was much older though. Last time, he tried breaking through my bedroom windows, and I had to fend him off.

Maybe this person represents something?