So I was going to make an entry here about moving in, and the new room, and seeing my roommates and Tanya again and such...
But then this morning, we had three paramedics, two campus police officers, one police sergeant, and one onlooker in our hallway. All while I was in my pajamas, no less.
See, my roommate Miranda has this really fucked up door. It's an emergency exit, and you couldn't actually open it without setting off an alarm, which we learned yesterday. This morning, I was about to take a shower, when Miranda and Sarah told me, "We're going to mess around with the door a bit." I decided against showering, because I really didn't like the sound of that.
Which turned out to be a good call, because Sarah's fingers ended up getting caught in the door jam.
After some attempting to get it out, I went and called Bemco, the campus paramedic service, while Miranda (effectively trapped in her room) called facilities. The conversation with the Bemco dispatcher went something like this:
Me: Hi, uh, my roommate's fingers are stuck in a door jam and we can't get them out.
Him: How old is she?
Me: *thinks for a minute that he's implying that she's too old to do something like that, is about to be all EXCUSE ME?, then realizes that he's taking patient information* 20.
Him: ... so her fingers are in a door?
Me: Yeah, she can't get them out.
Him: ... wow. Sounds painful.
Me: Yeah, she's in pain.
Him: So where are you?
Me: The Charles River apartments.
Him: *in a really exaggerated Boston accent* CHAHLES RIVAH.
Me: ..... yeah that's the one.
And so on. I hung up, and then suddenly realized that, hi, I was in my nightgown, so I threw on a sweater over it before I went outside to flag down Bemco. In the meantime, I was kind of hoping that my friend Chaim, who's in Bemco, wasn't on call. Because that would have just been awkward.
The police showed up first. There was a quieter, younger guy, and a round mustachioed guy, and the latter was barking "ALL UNITS, ALL UNITS!!!" into his radio. I showed them up to the room, and the mustache cop just walked over and used his nightstick to push the door open. He then turned to me and, as if he was on Law and Order or something, demanded, "GET SOME ICE, NOW!!!" (We unfortunately had no ice, so I had to make do with frozen peas.) When Sarah tried to apologize to the policeman, he said, with the utmost gravity, "That's what we're here for, miss."
Meanwhile, facilities showed up, and a guy who seemed half-amused by the situation set about fixing our door. Bemco then showed up, and were very cool about it, but of course they had forms to fill out, so they checked Sarah's vitals, gave her an actual ice pack, and so on. I had to sign a couple forms as a witness to say that Sarah refused treatment, etc. The police sergeant then showed up and laughed, "Must have been pretty painful, huh?" Y-Yeah, dude, I should think so.
Finally, everyone left, and it was only us and the facilities guy. He stayed to make sure the door definitely wouldn't trip the alarm anymore. Before he left, he grinned and said something to the effect of, "Don't worry, I've seen stupider shit."
So Sarah's fine (but sore, obviously), and we have Miranda's door fixed. If anyone asks, it was intentional.
