Please do not be shy.

Glimpse

At the library, a child smiled at me. I felt bad that I was looking so glum.
At school I met a girl in the bathroom I thought kinda bad about yesterday.
She was crying because her boyfriend broke up with her.
I gave her a stranger's hug. It made my heart grow a .001 size. or maybe moar. :')

Some glimpses into my mind. I come off as emotionally deprived. haha. Zack is NOT from FF7 even though I love Zack Fair and my future spouse should be his reincarnated form in human skin :]
My head doesn't make sense and I had to get this on paper. This post may disappear later. IDK I don't like revealing thoughts :D

A child’s smile
Full of innocence
Of bliss ignorance of the world
that suffocates and chokes
a flicker of joy
a sharp slap to narcissism
a mend to the bridge of connection
long broken
by men broken themselves

Funeral
Today he left
Yesterday he stalked
Smoldered and grew
Within a depressed soul I called mine
Today he was buried
Yesterday he was alive
Controlling the head I called mine
being held by the string above his own head
Tomorrow is the question
Tomorrow he won’t be back
What a nightmare he was
What a comfort he was
Such poisoned paradise
Lost in the depths
The mind of a child
Grown too old to dream

Tears
Tears come and go
Splash. They wash away the vermin
Black gives way to white
White gives way to nothingness
Nothingness gives way to numbness
Splatter. Clash. Swoosh
They come and go
Their marks invisible
Only the heart that sheds it
Knows where the path
Starts and ends.

Grow Up
Reality slapped me yesterday
Reality woke me yesterday
She brought me to tears
Recited to me my own fears
Fed me cowardice
Clothed me in hatred
Injected into these veins the drugs of bitterness
She said nothing
I understood what she meant
“Grow Up”
No place for tears
No place for ignorance and bliss
Longing and continuing an unfruitful affair with the past
The world around me is a cage
“Grow Up”
The shadows said them to me too
Why didn’t I listen?

Zack
That was his name
He didn’t have just one
Ever changing day by day
But he knew who he was
Soft locks as white as pure snow
Eyes as piercing as the sharp rays of dawn
Tongue clever as a snake
Words ever so delicious in its lies
A person so unreal
Impossible to be real
He never came to me in dreams
He didn’t seek me out
I beckoned for him to help
The chains that tie up his wrists and ankles
Have no mercy
It draws him nearer to me
Every bit of a prisoner as I am to him
He used to visit me
In my time of loneliness
Anger
Bitterness
Self-suffering
Self-pity

Zack
He used to be alive
Now he lies in a casket
Or some say he simply left
One day he may return
I would rather leave him for dead
His presence sinks me in delusion ever so deep
His absence wakes me up to reality I never wanted to face

End