aghh
I'll write out my feelings here as a way to vent. And because there are wonderful ppl online here who would tolerate my baby-tude.
~
so this is like my first time in like a month that I actually ate after 6PM. And I feel TERRIBLE. I usually eat from 1-5 PM everydaya and I ignore the hunger pains everyday. The morning isn't that bad. It's after the fam comes in that I want to join them to eat dinner.
But NAO. I ruined it cuz I had to shove chicken up my face and more cookehs and other procesed, junk.
I feel terrible.
To be honest. I would attempt puking. yes. except I'm a coward. Just like I was suuuch a coward to use that knife years back.
I feel so terrrrrible. I am one of the worst people to go ask about high self esteem becuz I have such a LOW one.
agh.
I used to be an exercise maniac, working out all the calories or extra calories I ate in the gym for like an hour, burning up 10000 calories. But now I resort to this...
and I'm an attention seeker. Yet I cringe at the attention given.
It really sucks and I feel pathetic. I wish I can turn back time so I wouldnt shove none of that stuff up my mouth. I want to puke. My body hates me. My head screams at me everydayy.
I wish I was sooo skinny people thought I was a lollipop or a toothpick.
please hate me all you want. cuz I'm sucha fat crybabeee
wahwah.
