Ximh and I were in the courtyard after the meeting. I was trying to get some fresh air, to calm down before I went to see Pashnirix.
"So Rex...what do you think about this whole plan?" he asked. "Why do you think our 'Leader' always has to come up with ideas he KNOWS the others will reject?"
"Because he doesn't know us," I replied simply. "He underestimates our powers, our wills. He doesn't know our secret desires. He thinks he can control us. He can't."
"Hm," he said. "That's an interesting thing to think about."
"That, and he holds his own goals above everyone else's," I continued. "By doing that, he only makes more enemies."
"And now he's got practically the entire Organization against him," murmured Ximh. "Oh, how the mighty will fall."
I laughed a bit at that. "So how's your wife?" I asked, nudging him.
He shoved me back. "I could ask the same of you, Mrs. Dragon," he retorted, grinning.
"Speaking of," I said, my momentary joy fading. "I have to go."
Ximh nodded. "You take care of him, alright? I can't imagine what you'd do if one of us got to him first," he muttered.
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Heading back to my own room, I locked the door and left immediately for Castle Oblivion. There was no way I would let someone else get to Pashnirix first. If anyone would kill him, it'd be me. And even then...
I envisioned his room, creating a portal directly to his quarters, sneaking in through a small gap in the darkness. He wasn't there, so I waited. And waited. Finally, it was growing darker outside, and I was tired of sitting crouched on the top shelf of his closet. I shifted, about to jump down from my perch, when his door creaked open. I froze, and watched as Pashnirix entered the room.
He seemed very subdued, closing the door behind him and quietly shedding his jacket. He pulled the ribbon from his hair, letting the icy blue strands fall around his face, and sighed.
"You can come down now," he said lowly. I didn't move, not sure if he was talking about me, or some other intruder. Although, if someone else was here, I thought I would have noticed them...
"I'm talking to you, Tigress," he said, glancing at the closet. "There's no one else here, is there? Come down."
Silently cursing, I leapt to the floor and pushed open the closet door. "How did you know it was me?" I asked.
Pashi shrugged, his famous half smile gracing his lips. "You are my mate," he said, "What kind of dragon would I be if I couldn't recognize you?"
I thought about that as he continued, "And besides, I am the ultimate hunter. Nothing gets past me."
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I think you're mistaken," I said. "I'm the ultimate hunter here."
His smile broadened. "Oh? Is that a challenge?" he said playfully.
The small smile on my face faded away. "Actually," I said, "I'm here on business. Important, serious business." I moved over to sit next to him on the bed and stared at my hands.
"I see," he murmured, looking straight ahead. "And what might this business be?"
I stayed silent. Still not looking at him, I asked, "Where have you been all day?"
I could feel him shift next to me as he moved to change his clothes. "I had a meeting with Xerebus," he said, pulling off his shirt, facing away from me.
"Oh," I said. If their leader was anything like ours, he probably didn't want to talk about it. I could only imagine what Xerebus had to say about the recent fiasco.
He changed into a pair of silk pajamas and came back to sit next to me. I fidgeted a little, and took a piece of his hair in my hand. "Well...do you remember when we first met," I started, "and we agreed that...if either one of us got orders to kill each other..."
It felt like RaXi had come in and covered the entire room with a six inch deep layer of ice as he gripped my chin and stared into my eyes. My chest constricted, my breathing deepened, and everything was screaming at me to run away. But I couldn't.
"What...you can't mean what I think you do," he breathed. I looked away, unable to withstand his stare.
"We have received orders from the Leader to capture and kill the members of Organization Zero," I recited automatically, "He wants your high energy to fuel some machine, a Cypher, to Where Nothing Fades."
"Where Nothing Fades," he repeated.
"A place where Nobodies go when their non-existence ends," I told him.
Pashnirix turned away from me, striding over to the window. I sat helplessly on the bed, wondering how my simple existence could have become so twisted. There once was a time where I would kill with no regrets, where I belonged to no one, answered to nothing. And now, here I was, contemplating saving a life because I liked that feeling of belonging to someone.
I opened my mouth to say something, but Pashi beat me to it. "Very well," he said tonelessly. "If this is how--"
"Are you joking me? I'm not killing you," I shouted. "How could you give up this easily? How could you think I would give up that easily? Is that honestly the type of person you take me for?"
After a stunned moment, he guiltily answered, "No, but you have direct orders...and your loyalties--"
"Lie not with that man," I finished harshly, "but with those I care about."
"You would dare defy a man so powerful he could destroy you before even thinking about it?" he asked. "You would put yourself in such danger?"
"Of course!" I was screaming by now, and didn't care if anyone heard. "I would do anything to save the one I love, I--"
We both sucked in a breath at my words. Love? Where had that come from. "I--I mean, I--" I faltered in trying to explain as Pashi studied me curiously.
"Love," he said, "is a very powerful word, Rex."
"I--I didn't mean--what I meant--"
"Rex," he said, "don't."
I pressed a hand to my forehead, suddenly overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Before it even registered, a tear was rolling down my face.
Pashnirix frowned. "You're crying," he said roughly.
"No! I'm not crying," I said viciously, "I'm just a little stressed. No, Pashnirix, stop--stop it!"
I tried to fight him off, but in the end, he won, and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. "Shh," he whispered into my ear. "Everything will be okay. You're learning."
I banged a fist against his chest. "I don't want to learn," I said. "This is making me so weak."
"Not weak," he said quickly, "never weak. Only when you have someone to live for can you truly find strength."
We stood like that for a while, until he said, "So you really intend of defying your Leader's orders?"
I nodded. "Of course," I answered. "I thought you would do the same. Endorse my action, even. Free spirit that you are, and all." I grinned cheekily at him.
He kissed me quickly. "Not if it would get both me and you killed," he pointed out.
"I'm not the only one," I told him. "I'm not the only one who disapproves of this. RaXi, Ximh, Nyx, Lexian, even Triskix. We're all against it. I'm not alone."
We both fell silent again, and Pashnirix rested his chin on top of my head. "This must be it, then," he mused. "That feeling I had that something cataclysmic would happen soon."
"Hah," I said, "understatement of the year. Then you'll fight with us?"
Pashi let me go to look me in the eye. "Fight with your Organization? I thought I told you my loyalties lie with no one but myself? I'm a free spirit, the Dragon allies with no one but--oof!"
I punched him in the stomach in the middle of his spiel. "Can it, Dragon," I said grinning.
He smiled at me softly. "You know...I only reacted the way I did because...I love you," he said, touching my face.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Don't say that, Pashnirix," I murmured. Love...was something that Kateri had. Love was what got her killed, what made me what I am. Love was not for me. Anger, guilt, yes, but never love.
"But it's true," he said quietly. "We may not have hearts, but I know what this is. I will protect you to the end of my existence. You are mine and forever will be. I love you."
I sighed. This couldn't be right...this couldn't be my destiny. Still, I found myself saying, "I know."
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KitKat: 
Long post!! Wow, missing four days of this place is hell to catch up on!
Rexikat: 
I can't believe I said I loved him!
KitKat: Oh. That. :3
Rexikat: And he loves me too!
