Hello, hello. My name is Xan and I will be your host this evening. Tonight we are serving Boring Life Problems, SHAMELESS Self Promotion, Conceited Blathering, and Mainly Stupid Stuff. Our most popular wine is Why Me. May I seat you?
Feel free to browse but try not to carouse! I hope you enjoyed my pun up there, because I sure did. Here's some boring facts about moi:
- Not a chick
- Not a dude
- So stfu
- I love you! ily, ilu, <3
- I am the Prince of Punk
Blah blah blah BLAH BLAH UGH HOW BORING.
There's really not much else to say. In my past-time I sleep and draw ugly pictures. Sometimes I write stupid words, which you can see in my only other world "Ugh Just Some Words." Otherwise I'm just a piece of trash weeb.
I think I need to stop creating myself and instead just be.
Well, summer has officially begun. I probably failed one of my classes because I just got so burnt out on finals that I didn't have the care to finish my final portfolio. But I have two more semesters to bring my grades up, so I guess I'll just try harder. Sigh.
I have literally slept all day long. It's kind of sad. All I ever do is sleep and eat. I'm basically Garfield. Except I actually have responsibilities.
I'm just kind of at a loss for what to do. I wanna' do things, but usually I just end up sleeping. I'm so sleepy all the time. Which is probably a sign of depression or something. But whatever.
I'm so bored. I just don't want to sleep anymore. But if I try to exert myself I'll just get sleepy. So I usually just end up sleeping anyways. Which pisses me off. I don't want to do anything, I want to do something. Life is difficult.
I'm going to probably go back to sleep.
Hey guys, what's up?
Lately I've been feeling sad and wondering about what I should do with my life. As far as homework goes for today, forget it. Though I might work on a study guide for an upcoming test... hmm. Oh, wait, the exam is tomorrow. Yeah, I guess I am doing some work. Oh well.
I think I may want to major in religion. I'm not religious, but religion is the coolest thing. Any religion and all religions. Maybe a sociology major with a focus on religion. Or maybe a religion major and creative writing minor. I mean, I suck at writing, but I can get better. Hopefully.
I am just ready to be done with school. It's bumming me out. Working a job without going to school rather than doing both seems pretty preferable right about now. But I want to stay. I like to be in an educational environment. But it's so stressful having all of this information crammed into my skull in such a short amount of time. I don't care if I'm smart or not, I'm still a pretty slow learner.
Whatever. I'm going away now.
I think I have an anger problem guys. I threw a temper tantrum today. Pitched a hissy fit. Call it what you want. I was just mad. First my boss got stressed so I got stressed, and then we were talking about religion in class which is a very, very loaded subject, AKA also stressful. And then my future roommate and I didn't get the room we wanted for next year, so I totally flipped my lid. It didn't help that before that I was thinking about lots o' awful shit. I call my temper tantrums "silent" because I don't scream or stomp around, I just get moody and pissy.
After that I just went and played the piano for a good hour and learned maybe some of the notes for "On the Nature of Daylight" by Max Richter. If you sad, slow, and instrumental, then I recommend it. It's beautiful.
Now I'm here. Skimmed through my reading for tomorrow, and I don't think I'll be doing anything else.
I was never really taught to not have temper tantrums as a kid, and I threw them and usually got what I wanted, so that did not help at all. This probably explains how I'm able to forget all about the people around me and do what I want. But anyways, I just wish I was disciplined better. I hold back my anger, but I don't seem to know what to do with it. I shouldn't sit on it. I guess I should let it out in some way. Playing the piano was a good way, I guess. Made me focus on something else and try my best to be awesome at it. So okay.
Ugh. I just wish I wasn't so angry all the time, guys.
Hey guys! Mid-terms went away, and now I'm on Spring Break. My friend invited me and a whole bunch of other friends to her uncle's lake house, so that's where I am! It's still a bit chilly, but that's okay. It warms up in the afternoons, and friends are so entertaining. There's good food and good company.
I've been struggling with something to write, though. I just don't know what I should start on. I guess coming up with something new is always a challenge, though. I've been looking through my old stuff and I find I'm fairly impressed. I guess I just need to read more. But what...? Hm... There are so many options out there. I did bring two trash books with me to read. But I guess I'm not really all that interested in them. I want horror books. Ghosts and whatnot. God, I really loved "Ghost Story" by Peter Straub. That was suchhhh a good book.
I think I may take a nap.
