Hiei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hiei sat up from his tree branch as if waking from a terrible nightmare, drenched in a terrible sweat. The chill morning breeze called him back to reality, saving him from a fate he considered worse than death.
Hiei: The colors the feelings the touching >.< How disgusting! Wait a moment. I’m home. I’m here, and my tree is here, and *arm searches behind and pulls out a little teddy bear* yes, even little Wuffy-kins is here *stows the teddy bear back in its hiding place* But…but… *looks around and sees someone walking by* Hey you! What day is it?
Jakken: What are you talking to me?
Hiei: Do you see any other fools that I could be referring to?
Jakken: How dare you insult me so!
Hiei: Tell me what day it is or I will unleash the dark dragon on you! *hand starts glowing*
Jakken: ACK! Well *ahem* we shall see who the fool is here, as if you didn’t know the day today, HA! Well for seeing as the night before last was the moon waxed at its full, and being in the third era since the dawning of …
Hiei: >-> … >.< Just tell the stupid day!
Jakken: Allright allright *bows apologetically* Christmas day! Today is Christmas!
Hiei: *to self* So it is then…I haven’t missed it, I still have a chance to change, I’ll have to start by obliterating all donation buckets *Care Bear flashback and shivers* Ew! *to Jakken* Hey toad! You know the turkey about 10 times your size in the poultry shop? Go buy it for me!
Jakken: *sly look* I’m afraid that’s rather impossible.
Hiei: Why you fool?
Jakken: Because being the blessed day of Christmas all the stores are closed; no one is open for business like that. And even if they were open, the turkey has already been bought and devoured!
Hiei: WHAT? By who?
Jakken: By one of the only two people who could afford it! My dear master, Lord Sesshomaru!
Hiei: >o< OUT OF MY SIGHT FOOL!!! *emanating fire*
Jakken: ACK! *scurries away* LORD SESSHOMARU!!!
Hiei: That certainly poses a problem. I suppose buying presents is out of the question.
And so it went that Hiei walked the snowy streets while pondering how to make use of the opportunity given him. When while not looking he ran smack into a donation bucket held in the hand of Goku, talking with a hand-holding couple.
Hiei: *rubbing head* Why don’t you watch where I’m going?
Mukuro: Perhaps you should watch where we’re going >.>
Hiei: O.O Mu…Mukuro? Why are you here?
Mukuro: Visiting family, now out of my site! *to Goku* It was a pleasure grandpa, see you later *to man holding her hand* Let’s go dear.
Yomi: Lead the way my precious.
Hiei: o.O??? *watches them go in a daze*
Goku: *swings bucket to hit back of Hiei’s head* Fancy meeting the old scrooge out here!
Hiei: Will you can it with the bucket? How much would it cost to get rid of those things?
Goku: Only about enough to support all the poor and homeless…about $934,352,264,602 yen plus taxes, but still are tax deductible only if you live in the state of Utah.
Hiei: Whatever here! *pulls huge sum of gold from small pocket and crams it in the bucket* Just demolish all those buckets! I don’t want to see another one again!
Goku: $o$ Oh wow! HEEHEE ^o^ This is enough to buy me breakfast!
Hiei: I don’t care what you do with the money, just get rid of those buckets!
Goku walked off in a happy daze while Hiei pondered what step to take next. Suddenly recognizing the neighborhood, he approached a shabby trailer and knocked on the door.
Hiei: Well, I solved the problem of the buckets at least, now there are none to kick. We’ll see how my idiot nephew is doing…
Joey: *opens door* WOAH UNCLE! I didn’t expect ta see youse here!
Hiei: Didn’t you invite me, of course I came!
Joey: Ha-ah…well, come on in, your just in time for a game o’ Duel Monstas! *calling behind* Hey look who’s come ta join us guys!
Little Yugi: Welcome, it’s always nice to have more friends to play with!
Mai: Want to go against me shorty? Or are you not man enough to handle me?
Hiei: Heh. I can take whatever you dish out blondie!
So the festivities started off with Hiei facing Mai in a Duel Monsters battle. She totally mopped the floor with him. Still good sportsmanship was displayed and then the time came to where everyone broke out their Christmas Special Decks. Mai played against Little Yugi and the game followed as Hiei had afore seen with the ghost of Christmas present, up to the point where he had left…
Mai: *draws a card* Ha! Now you boys are in for it! I play my card of ultimate destruction! Curse of the Jagan! *lays down a card with Hiei’s picture on it* This will steal all your Christmas cheer and reduce your life points to zero!
Little Yugi: Oh no! Where did you get that ultra-rare card? It’s tough to beat!
Tristan: Yeah, looks like Mai has this one in the bag!
Joey: Eh… ^^;;; Sorry about dat uncle it may seem like you dressed like an elf, but its not!
Hiei: Hn. It looks nothing like me. *smug smile*
Little Yugi: Hold on Mai, I do have a way to beat it, because with Curse of the Jagan, you just triggered my trap card: Depolymerization! With all my monsters in defense mode *flips over an upside-down monster card from each side revealing the Ghost of Christmas Present (Sasami) and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (George)* I can use this trap card on… *flips over middle card revealing a picture of Shigure* my Ghost of Christmas Present. Since the Spirit of Christmas is strengthened by friendship this allows me to turn the Present into the Mabudachi Trio! *Pulls out Ayame, and Hatori to join Shigure* Now with more than 3 monsters on the field, my Christmas Cheer is safe from your Curse of Jagan! Plus the special effect of the Mabudachi Trio has been activated so all my Christmas Ghost combine to attack you which will take out your Curse of Jagan and drain the rest of your life points!
Hiei: *to self* Well I’ll be beat…
Mai: We’ll I’ll be beat! Good game Yugi!
Joey: *giving Little Yugi noogies* Dat’s my Yuge!
Hiei: Very cheery. But you fools have no idea what a real battle is like. *captures everyone’s attention* Yes…in my day and age we didn’t have these painted cards, we fought real battles with real demons and real monsters. I should tell you of the time…
So with a captivated audience Hiei told of his past adventures with the thrill of fighting a worthy opponent and of his sweet victories and bitter defeats. When the day grew late and Joey was ready to pull out the eggnog, Hiei headed on his way. He had one final bit of business to take care of and one last stop that led him to Trunk’s home.
Hiei: *to self* I need to take care of that little fox demon…under the right training, I could teach him to be as powerful as me…and would respect me enough to save me from the Care Bears in case they ever do come and get me *shivers* Ew! *knocks on door* TRUNKS!!! OPEN THIS DOOR AT ONCE YOU FOOL!!!
Trunks: *opens in a rush* Boss! What are you doing here?
Hiei: What do you think you fool! YOU were not at work this morning.
Trunks: That’s because today is Christmas, you gave me it off.
Hiei: Oh humbug, you think I’d do such a thing?
Arisa: *pushing Trunks out of the way causing him to collide with the side wall* That’s it shrimp! You’ve crossed me for the last time! *rolls up sleeve* You’ve come and ruined Christmas, now I challenge you…
Hiei: >.> Cool it lady. I’ve only come to extend a business partnership.
Trunks: Oro?
Arisa: What?!?!? Well come on in and join us, you brought something for pot luck I hope, and if not, then I will challenge you…to a game of Rich Man Poor Man! Loser scrubs out the turkey pot!
Hiei: Hn. I know a few things about cards, you're on!
Trunks: *getting up and dusting self off* You mean it? You’ll let me take my dad’s place as your partner?
Hiei: >.> No fool. But I’ll promote you and give you a raise if you’re up to more responsibility. It’s your son I’m interested in.
Momiji: *sucker in mouth* Me? o.O
Hiei: No Bunny Boy >.> I was referring to the other one, *pointing to Shippo* the fox demon.
Shippo: *pointing to self* Wow, me really?
Hiei: First we’ll get that leg of yours fixed in no time, then we’ll talk business.
Shippo: COOL! *hops on good leg* You hear that everyone? I’m going to get better!
And so Hiei and Trunks’ family sat at the table with Shippo on Hiei’s lap as they enjoyed…or watched the saiyan and girls enjoy…the humble feast.
Hiyono: That was mine Momiji! HIYONO PUNCH!
Momiji: Wah! Somebody, Hiyono’s picking on me!
Shippo: God bless us! Every one!
Shippo’s prayer was spoken truly enough even to melt the heart of a bloodless tearless demon. Hiei was able to change after all. He became a better uncle, a better friend, and a better demon than anyone had ever known. Indeed it was said around town that he knew how to keep the Spirit of Christmas in a way that…
Hiei: >.< Stop the incessant monologuing! The ending was fine without you!
Amelia: *whispering* Daddy, who is Mister Hiei talking to?
Trunks: *whispering back* I think he’s snapped; he’s been talking back to the voices inside his head since yesterday.
*Christmas bells ring on with wild cheer!*
To Be continued next Christmas Season with more exciting adventures!
