There are parts where you write "L did this, L did that. L did this." and then "He did this. He did that. Then he did this.".
It would run smoother if you had more variation.
"L did this. He did that. Then he did this".
... Or something along those lines. ^^;
I'm sorry if that was confusing. xD
Other then that it was cute. :]
I like the picture you feature at th top, it goes great with your story!
TemariMinato
Otakuite++ | Posted 09/18/08 | Reply
I remember this from ur quizzila!
igneouspiritfeonx
Otaku Legend | Posted 08/01/08 | Reply
There are parts where you write "L did this, L did that. L did this." and then "He did this. He did that. Then he did this.".
It would run smoother if you had more variation.
"L did this. He did that. Then he did this".
... Or something along those lines. ^^;
I'm sorry if that was confusing. xD
Other then that it was cute. :]
I like the picture you feature at th top, it goes great with your story!
~~~Igneous