Hey deary!!! Love ya! <3

Hmm I really know what you mean. Though I don't agree with you, you not improving, but I get that YOU really need to see yourself improve and be proud of it. Or know that your improving as much as you want or can improve.

Other than that...for the last year or more I've been absent because of mostly two things: 1. I had a tough time getting to know myself, what I really want and why I do things the way I do 2. No true inspiration love for art and/or rather seeing all the amazing art around me and getting baffled by it. What I've really noticed about myself is that my digital coloring has improved quite a lot (if I may say so :P) and my line arts/anatomy/etc is degrading! Heck! I can't even redraw an anime picture anymore! haha. That's why I'm going traditional yeah baby hihi xDD Seriously I made tons of sketches on three pieces of paper (used an animal anatomy book) and BOOM I already noticed a bit of improvement. And then I decided to come back here on theO and another BOOM inspired by lots of friends and wanted to draw stuff for em :3

Hmmm.. dang... maybe I already told you this. Can't remember! Sorry if I did and bored you with it :P Hihi I think you won't mind *hugs*

You really scared me back there, I thought you were going to disappear completely but thankfully you'll keep in touch :D Definitely going to add you to msn, but beware, I'm barely online! I'm simply not that of a msn person :P Oh maybe we could send sketches with msn in the convo haha that would be fun if you'd like to ;P

Ah gotta go! Dad is calling! Hugs and talk to you later X3

Oh geez it feels like 2010 just started, I can't believe it's almost 2011 <__<;
Is it just me or is every year going by faster and faster? XD
Anyway, I'm really glad that your senior photos was a good experience for you~ C: It really should be a nice time to gather with your friends since being a senior is a really great deal, and it should be a time to enjoy and cherish forever since you're just one step away from stepping into the adult world and off to college~ XD sob everyone rows so quickly ;w; Have a great year and do your best! >//w//< *hugs*

Even though I'm a sophomore now, I still feel like a freshman.. haha XD

Oh geez I'll probably run over a squirell when I start driving LoL ewe

Aww I think that you have made great improvement in your art though! What I admire the most about your art is how much time and dedication you put into each piece. Whenever I look at your pics, I can just visualize you creating each stroke of color and detail, there's so much soul into it. I think every artist feels a little behind with their own work. "an artist's hardest critic is themselves" is someone's quote I heard from my art teacher in middleschool XD Whenever I see amazing artists do that art improvement meme they almost always say "ugh my art skills are still ugly! I haven't improved at all!" when in truth, they've improved so much so fast, I can't believe how much someone can improve in such a short period of time, it makes my art look like I've been a lazy bum and drew nothing but scribbles every year >XD

Lately, after exploring and analysing hundreds of magnificent art I think my visual skills and expectations of my own art have gotten way beyond what I am capable of, so every time I draw something, it never comes out the way I want it to and I see soooo many errors, it takes me forever to be satisfied with it so I guess instead of an art block, I'm getting into a visual vs capability conflict in my mind XD It kinda irritates me though since I love drawing, and now I can't even enjoy it so much ;w; So I better improve my capabilities within this year to catch up to what I want XD

Hahaha! I read Fun-chan's comment with the Naruto reference, it really does remind me of that~ XDD
We will all miss seeing your lovely art but we shall support your decision all the way!^^ I can't wait for you to return and become an even more experienced ninja artist than before! >:3
Every artist has their own way of expressing themselves and their own personal reason and purpose for drawing. Some do it for fun, some do it to relieve stress, some do it to make others happy, it all depends on who you are. So do whatever you think feels right for you as an artist and make sure that not only others, but your happiness counts too. ^^
I personally like drawing to make others and myself happy (and if it's fanart, I also strive to share & promote whatever fandom it is and have discussions about it with other fellow fans) so I draw best when I can make someone, especially a close friend happy plus I have to enjoy drawing it, so even if it'll make someone super happy, if someone asks me to draw something I don't like or don't wish to draw, it usually doesn't turn out well (like the major demand for my PJatO art on dA by hundreds of people lol OTL) So I kinda view myself as a somewhat selfish artist... But then again, I guess every artist wouldn't want to draw something they wouldn't want XD

I wish you well on your journey to improvement! ^^ Who knows, maybe I'll meet you in one of the roads there! lol XD
You take care of yourself too!<3 Have a wonderful year my friend~ C:
*big hugs*

Hey there Sayara!

Glad to hear about your new school year coming up. I remember when I was a senior; it was exciting having the title and thinking about leaving high school forever. Seeing what life has in store for you too is also very exciting! Since you can start making really big decisions in your life and direct it into any where you want! When everyone was fretting about the future and what they were going to do I was completely sure of myself. Only you can make your future and no one else so I was excited with my plans on having a cute business! Then today I found out websites that the more seasoned kawaii sellers use to make their items like acrylic charms and tee shirts! When I first started on my business journey I would search high and low for manufacturers. After a long time of forgetting about the information, I came upon it not even looking for it haha! So I think setting your intentions on what you want is key when stepping into your more independent stage of your life. Things tend to come together like magic when you least expect them too.

The driving practice sounded kinda scary. I’m glad you and your mom didn’t get into an accident, but I know what you mean about turning on a red light. Its all apart of learning I guess, as long as you don’t get hurt! I’m going for my permit soon too. I want to learn how to drive so I can be more independent and have more opportunity. With a car you can go anywhere and everywhere on a drop of a dime! Getting food and things for the house will be easier with a car. I never had an interest about driving till the recent weeks of drama. If I can drive off some where to relax or clear my mind that would be wonderful! Plus thinking about the future, if I want to move out especially in the outskirts of the city I will need a car. I think having a car will change my life for the better. XD Maybe I should come down to Florida so you can teach me the ropes!

Warning this continuation of this post will be long and drawn out! XD

As far as your longggggg hiatus I completely understand where you’re coming from! I too recently posted about how I changed my focus when it came to my art (and life) here. I think it’s wonderful that you’re finally taking control artistically! I know all to well about being jealous over another’s art and improvement. It sucks because it does make you feel like you have gotten no where, and even if you do see improvement it will never seem like its enough. In fact I still go through it but I don’t think the reason is the same since I’m happy with my art and where I’m going with it. Now it’s more the recognition a piece gets when its seems it doesn’t deserve it. These days I’m trying to eliminate that mind set since it’s none of my business nor does it effect what I’m doing as an artist haha. I always hated that feeling too because it was very troublesome but I always try to come to terms with it by commenting how nice the art really was. It does the trick and I made a lot of good friends from it including you! (I never thought your art was undeserving, I was jealous of it because it was so nice! ^__^0 this was when I first came around as well so my reasons of envy/jealously where different).

As far as the auctions and the worth of your art its one of the sure fire ways to kill the real joy and creativity in your art. Just the mind set it installs in you slowly eats at you and makes you strive for things in a negative way. For a very long time I wanted my art to be worth something, something that everyone will be willing to pay for. Especially how I see popular DA artists are and how much they sell or commission for, I wanted that “value” that those artist have. So I thought if I improved enough or changed my style a bit maybe I can get there too. But then I also wanted my galleries to looks as stunning and beautiful to so I strived to make all my art just as stunning too! Let me tell you the price for that is way too high, the constant grind of trying to improve and comparing myself to others so I can see that “value” KILLS YOUR TRUE WORTH. but I’ll come back to that later.

As much as I’m excited about hearing about your plans to get back that fun and true love for drawing I can see some real traps in your methods.

FIRST AND FOREMOST

Even though you want to rid your self of the perceived “worth” of your art by staying away form art sites the fact that you won’t come back and/or be satisfied till someone random says “your art my favorite artist” is like taking 1 step forward then 5 steps back. NOT because it’s wrong to want recognition but you’re still putting a signal that your art has improved and value IN SOMEONE ELSES HANDS. Even though you said that you want to see improvement yourself, once you factor in another’s opinion or perceived value on your work your still be drawing for someone else.

YOU CAN’T GIVE SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T ALREADY HAVE.

You MUST draw purely for yourself 100%, only YOU can give your work value, no one else can unless you let them. You yourself must be all loving and inspired by your works no matter how little, sketchy, polished, unpolished, appreciated, or unappreciated they get from people. Putting that kind of POWER into someone else’s hands to determine is unreasonable. It can really put you in an even more negative place because you might not get it even if YOU see improvement. When it comes to being passionate about your art and truly enjoying it you yourself must rid of ALL outside forces. DON’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOUR DRAWING and how much YOU’RE ENJOYING IT. I’m serious; those three ATC’s I posted last were the product of letting go of everything. The internet, who I felt was better then me, how people will think of my drawing, EVERYTHING. I left the computer and its nonsense where it was at and took FULL CONTROL of what I wanted and I got it!

I understand not having that true fun and love for your drawings. That was what I wanted too, for too long did I let outside influences and standards control what, when, and who I drew. For a long time I wanted that popularity that VALUE of what people think is GREAT ART but art will be ALWAYS BE ABOUT ENJOYMENT AND BEING INSPIRED. Not the “value” of it, what people are willing to pay, or what even people think of your art. IT’S ABOUT YOU AS AN ARTIST, what you feel, what inspires you, what makes you tick. Art is truly a scared and personal thing and I think that a lot of us are abusing that when we make the decision to orange juice it and give it away. We as creators are giving away our talent, happiness, inspiration, even our lives when we draw for someone that is not us 100%. Probably why so many of us fail in trying to be recognized artist. Yes you can work hard, blood, sweat, and tears for it. You can even get it but if your missing that enjoyment and true passion for your work, was it truly worth it, or are you going to put THAT value into someone’s else’s hands too? They might say it is but they are not the ones drawing and creating, they are not the ones end up dreading what you used to LOVE ENDLESSLY.

I’m not saying that your wants or desires for your art are wrong either. They are perfectly fine; I want that recognition too as an artist. The trick is to have it on YOUR TERMS. Change that “I’m going to work my ass off so I can be as great at XXX and have that value that I always wanted” to “I’m going to enjoy every moment drawing as well as creating and everyone will see that and appreciate it!”. Its all about the mind set, one is coarse, rigorous, harder, while the other is must more intended and focus on you and art. As if you’re rebuilding that relationship again and going about your goals in a more positive, loving way.

Another thing I want to mention is that even though you want to be like your favorite artist, strive for YOUR UNIQUE SUCCESS. I’m going to go into explanation into this so you know what I’m talking about. Like you and every up and coming artist I had my idols, inspirations, and those hero’s in my art journey. I can probably name a few all times fave like bara-chan and klar. Oh boy, when I say I love those artists I mean I LOVE them I can never look at their galleries and not be inspired. It wasn’t just the art I adored it was their personalities as well. So down to earth, humorous, and real. There was nothing I could say that was wrong with them, they were and always in my eyes “perfect” XD. I was in the middle of my teens about 15-16 and at the time the way I viewed my art and myself as an artist was different. I liked what I was doing BUT I wanted my art to be like my idols. I wanted that style and grace that oozed from their art. At the time I wanted that value as well so that was another driving factor, I just wanted to be like them. I wanted what they had totally. At the time I didn’t see what I was doing, I didn’t see that I was in a way abandoning MY OWN UNIQUE POTENTIAL FOR SUCCESS/STYLE.

What made me realized that NOW is when I made the conscious decision to love my art/style fully and appreciate everyone else’s art of all kinds. I saw how people can get so worked up on someone’s art rather is was good, bad, appreciated or not in the art world, and I thought that it was a very stupid argument since every style is beautiful in its own way EVEN IF I DIDN’T LIKE IT. At the end of the day we ALL are doing the same thing, creating and being artists, our methods are just different. Since then I took that mind set with me as an artist and it changed me for the better. With that knowledge that every art style is beautiful no matter who thought about it, I looked at my own art and said to myself “this is MINE, this is MY STLYE, This is MY ART, I LOVE DRAWING THIS even if people think it’s stupid, I LOVE MYSELF AS ARTIST AND I LOVE MY DRAWING, I’M GOING TO TAKE MY ART AND RIDE IT TILL THE WHEELS FALL OFF.” Since then when I looked at my idols or popular artists and their success and I no longer what THIER SUCCESS, I NOW WHAT MY OWN SUCCESS DOING WHAT I DO. Of course the ways I feel about them haven’t change that much. I’m still inspired by them and all that but I see them as proof that you can do whatever you want and be admired for it. Any and everyone can have their own success but it ONLY starts with you and what you think about your art. You can love it as much as you want but if you want to slip someone else’s on top of yours, you’re truly haven’t seen your potential as an artist.

So long story short let your idol be the proof that you as an artist can be just as admired doing what you yourself love best. Not climbing for what they have and sort of hopping in their seat haha. Just like they have that value and success, you have your own unique and just as wonderful success waiting for you!

SECONDLY DON’T LET IMPROVEMENT DRIVE YOU EITHER

Since I wanted to be as good as my idols and the popular artists I think working day in and day out improving was the way to go. But it only left me creatively drained and frustrated at myself. Since I adopted that mind set years ago it slowly ate away at me and only made me feel bad about my self when I thought I couldn’t do this or that right. Probably since your comparing your self to others, working so hard that you’re trying to get blood out of a daisy, and skipping over the best parts of drawing in the first place, having fun!

The key to improving is to not to think about it at all! I’m not sure if this holds true to all artists but I remember when I was 12-13 drawing. I wasn’t online then I didn’t even have a computer but every night I would draw pictures and comics about my characters. I remember how fun it was just drawing. I wasn’t as near as concerned as improving as I am now (or was). I improved in my own way and pace but I never just try to get blood out of a rock. When I thought to myself why I wasn’t enjoying myself like I used to I would always think back then and saw that girl. As much I wanted to sit down and just draw I would always take on a challenge every night and have mixed results but I would never feel the way my 12 year old self did. Completely content with her work and drew because she loved her characters and their stories.

I wanted people to see that I improved and always done something different and dynamic. So I would challenged myself to get there but I was slowly capping myself creativity since I was so focus on something beside me having fun doing what I do. Over time I put that “what’s fun for me to draw” on the back burner and put “what’s cool and awesome to the public” on front. Thus creating a huge block for me in the years to come. If I have known what I was doing and knew what I did now, I would have nipped that in the bud completely.

The key to improving is to have FUN and be INSPIRED. It might sound silly but I’m telling you it works. Only after I allowed myself to have fun with my self while drawing did I saw myself improve more then getting down on my knees and force the improvement out haha. Not only that but you will want to try different things with your art, even things that once you were afraid to do. You will be so inspired to broaden your horizons that you will never see it coming. It’s like where have this person been?! I know you were around but I just didn’t see you! XD It’s like a completely new experience on a whole novel level because you’re uncovering that true artist that always wanted to be expressed. You will have better more worth while ideas, you will be inspired, and you will be a completely different person! It’s just that simple haha.

When you do practice like refs and stuff I like to take a part of the subject and sketch/draw it out. Also not to draw on a huge scale keep it small and simple. Also never get frustrated or discouraged if it doesn’t come out like you want it. Little by little you’re improving it just will take time for it to soak in. If you want to get better doing a certain pose you have to keep drawing it over and over till you know how it drawn. Also anatomy books are your best friend when it comes to anatomy!

Haha I think I talked more then enough it took me hours (some last night and some this afternoon) to get this all down! XD

I defiantly approve that you take some time off to find that artist that you were 4 years ago. I had to do that too (stop being on the internet AS much) and it helps but you shouldn’t hold yourself till you improved enough to come back (your trying to eliminate pressure remember haha!). Honestly you’re improving with every picture that you post seriously, I went through your gallery recently and I see your style strengthen! You might think that you’re getting lost in everyone else’s dust but I guarantee you that the internet has a way to make you feel like your missing out. You’re improving as well and moving forward, everyone is different so you shouldn’t hold yourself in a bad place when you feel someone has improved. Rather they improved or not it does nothing for you, it doesn’t make you draw worst by any means nor does it effect you in anyway. Sort of shake it off and tell yourself how wonderfully you improved and how much people admire your art!

You’re the third person who had this kind of problem in the last week no joke! Every time I respond it only gets longer and longer haha. None the less I hope somehow I gave you some insight on the things you should avoid while you’re on your hiatus. I basically typed up what I learned in the last 5 years in a few pages so I’m sure you find something to identify with. XD I was thinking about making an article about what I experienced and seeing more people going through what I did, it might give others some great insight!

I might give you a poke through MSN soon XD, my e-mail is audiopink@hotmail.com if you ever need anything or inspiration!

Take care Sayura and good luck, post again soon!

That post was really a deep personal one,I wished I had all my reading strenght to soar but reading so much each day leaves my eyes so tired.Once I started reading your adventures I started to be there with you,feeling what you were feeling and stopped beeing an spectator.Many of the thing you said just ring many bells in my head.I never gone to gaia or dev because I think my love for my art would be spoiled for some point.

I really been missing your great pictures,they really are a reflection of what you are and so unvaluable.I will cherish those 2 pictures as much as I had enjoyed all the art of my friends in combo with what I could draw with them.Can't really put a price on art,for me it's just a bad idea.

My parents don't know I draw,kinda my mom does but that's it.I keep my art as my little secret and just share it with my friends.Have I told u the story of the ring Sayu.It's a great story that tells you that only wise people will know how much something is worth truly.

I felt sad when you said you haven't enjoyed your art in 4 years.How does someone so talented and with so much life in her art can not be happy with that great gift.Trust me Sayu,your art is a gift,it's soo inspiring each time I see it.

That secret artist you admire must be the most fortunate on this world.I say that because if soemone that puts so much life in her art admires someone,that person haves also a lot of life in each picture.Love your art,it will be sharing love with yourself as you are your art and trust me,you don't need anything else that love :3!!!

Big hugs,

Angel

I think that taking this hiatus is a good idea Sayura-chan :D It's sort of like Naruto where he leaves for 3 years and then comes back all kick-a and everything! >:D
But anyways, you are an amazing artist. You really are. And taking this hiatus to improve really shows your dedication. And I'm not saying this just because you said that you want recognition, but that dedication is really inspiring. I know I haven't really dug down deep and really took a long time to study how to draw some things.
Not only that, but i know you've inspired me as a person too. You're one of my role models. I know I became a lot more loving and mature because I talked to you and I greatly appreciate you for that. There are so many people who I am greatful for, and I haven't given them my full thanks;;
As for your art, you should at least give us WIPs of your work. :D Asking questions on how to do things and stuff is a great way to improve~ and i'm sure a lot of people will know good tutorials, and opinions and suggestions are an important key to improving.
I LOVE YOU TOO SAYURAAAAAAAAAA
You take care of yourself too you silly goose! ;D

Hello m'dear ^^ it is good to hear from you again, I missed being able to go online... Anyhoo, I hope that after your break from submitting that your art will be something you are proud of. I think your art is already lovely, but I suppose the only way to improve is to keep practising and trying new things, so good luck with all of that! There are several artists on this site who continuously blow me away, I hope we both reach our goals of improving *smiles*

Take care sweetie, remember to get some rest too! :3

Aww. I'm sorry to hear that you'll be on a hiatus for such a long time. But if you think it's the path you have to take, I'm not stopping you ^^ I can't wait for you to BLOW ME AWAY when you draw something that makes you happy :DDD
*hugs* Talk to you soon, Sayura! <3