Ready for a long post? Thought so
I have officially graduated with a degree in computer engineering from college. The journey to finding a job starts when I get over my insecurities. See, I really wanted this job at IBM in Ohio. I went through four interviews, got encouraged by one of the interviewers, and really enjoyed the area. I didn't get the job. Ever since I really don't know if its even worth the hassle of trying.
Its a weird insecurity to have, but its there none the less. Its unfortunate.
I know I started this pretty close to the end of middle school, and its actually really funny to look back at my life since then. I do know I found out I have a genetic disorder in my eyes that will make me lose my peripheral vision. I also found out I am a sociopath. I am not a killer though. Its actually really mild. I feel anger, I feel happiness, and I feel grief. I don't feel sadness, I don't feel anxiety. Most of the complex emotions are lost on me.
I don't know if I ever admitted that I am also asexual. I may have to go back and see if I ever said anything around the time I found out. All the way back in the myo days.
What else? I'm not with anyone and that's just fine. I think that the last post was about Charlie dying, so I don't need to update about that. Martha is in the hospice now, and my cousin just graduated high school. I just really think I need to focus on smaller things as I try to make a life. Hopefully I follow thru now that I don't have a emotional compromise.
Bleh and a bleh and another bleh. I'm going through my college papers because I'm still not completely unpacked from Uni and I'm finding things from my first semester in college. It brings back terrible memories of physics. Calculus based physics. I am so glad I'm done with physics now, and I only have one more calculus class left. Its going to be a sigh of relief. I'm not so happy I have to take statistics as well. Oh well, I digress.
So we got rid of our old furniture that we have had in this house since we moved in. In fact, its been my mothers main furniture for 35 years now. It was about time for us to get new ones. 35 year old furniture isn't all that comfortable if its been used regularly. Plus it was falling apart. It just wasn't a good situation. BUT. We don't get the new furniture until thursday. Yes, that means five days without furniture. Its going to be a very uncomfortable five days. Especially because I need to organize cords for all the electronics that were behind the old couch that I couldn't get to. Not to mention all the cleaning. And now my mom is talking about getting hard wood floors in the living room and dining room. Everything is changing!
I'm happy she is finally doing this though. She has been talking about it since I got into high school. Its just good to see that she is doing something that she wants to do. Almost all of us are out of the house now. All thats left is my brother and he is a senior in high school. And this will be the last time I live here too. It hasn't really sunk in that this room won't be mine after winter break. I'll be moving into an apartment in Ames for my senior year of college and I will probably be somewhere else in the US or even another country for next summer for an internship.
Growing up is a weird thing. I'm working two jobs because I know my need for money, especially with my brother getting into college soon (and an out of state one at that) and my sister already out of college and in the work force. She has been explaining to me about a bunch of different college loans and grants. Its going to be chaos when I turn 21. Mom says I can stay on her health care for two more years, but as soon as I turn 23 I'm on my own. Not because its her choice, but because thats just how our healthcare works.
My room is as clean as I've ever seen it. And because of that, I have no idea what to do with my manga collection. Its in my book shelf for now, but when I move out I won't have that book shelf. I actually forgot that I owned any fruits basket manga. I liked it when it started but then its just got too ridiculous for me and I found it not going the way I wanted it. My friend likes them though. And I'd give it to her but she already owns most of the series. I was also surprised to find Othello in there. I forgot that I owned that series. Then there is wallflower, Fake (just because my friend gave them to me because she couldn't keep them), Saiyuki, and many more including some manhwas.
I should probably stop distracting myself and get back to the papers and finishing unpacking so that next week I can start packing again since I have to go back in exactly a month. Woo freakin hoo.
