Previously
Though he did not expect the Hokage when he was skinning potatoes over the Yukinojo kitchen sink, he certainly didn't expect the words, "Keisuke is back, and he may be asking Ibiki to lobotomize him" to come out of the blonde's mouth.
The potato dropped.
"Permission to use you as leverage?" The question was rushed as his voice shook a bit, though the affirmative answer was immediate.
"Do whatever you need to." Of course he understood. It was obvious from the look in his eyes; this wasn't much different from his own experiences with Uchiha Sasuke, who, thankfully, had successfully made his way back to the village (mostly) unharmed.
Mamoru wished he was faster.
He ran as fast as his legs could carry him- no, faster, he realized when they became numb- and only stopped when he arrived at his destination, not even bothering to catch his breath.
Idiot! What are you thinking?
He knew there had been something wrong with Keisuke, something, something...! But what?
Why did he keep hiding it? Was he prepared to keep that secret with him forever? But a lobotomy...
There won't be any Keisuke.
He blanched, though he did not slow his pace when he thought of it this way, the blow hitting him almost as hard as a physical one. All conscious thoughts began to fly out of the window when he finally approached his goal; though those standing outside initially would not let him pass, he ground his teeth and barked, "I'm here on orders from the Hokage. Both of them." While it technically wasn't a lie, he'd only gotten permission from one of them, but it was of no consequence.
"Papers?" One of the guards asked, and the blood in Mamoru's veins began to boil.
"This is a time sensitive order." The cold focus in his eyes caused them to stiffen before him as he shifted, momentarily, into business mode. "If you don't let me through, I'll make you."
And they could tell that the feminine looking shinobi definitely could.
"Stop!"
It seemed like some sort of dream; Ibiki Morino paused for but a moment, but Mamoru could read his expression clearly.
I don't want to do this.
He was thankful for that hesitation. Keisuke, on the other hand, did not seem so grateful. Before he had a chance to speak, Mamoru continued, "By order of Lord Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto, you are forbidden to go through with this."
Ibiki's hand dropped. "...I see."
He wanted to hold his feelings back, to keep his voice down, to say nothing until at least Ibiki was out of sight, but Mamoru found himself opening his mouth against his better judgement. "Keisuke, what the fuck?!"
Is this my fault?
"I get it, you want to be alone, or something stupid like that," his fury rose as his instincts squirmed inside of him, screaming for Mamoru to shut up, calm down, and take this somewhere else, but he didn't stop, "but a lobotomy?"
Is it something I did?
"Why are you closing me-" He stopped, realizing he'd become selfish about it, as if he should have been the only one who mattered, even if no one else did. "...why are you closing us out?"
Why do I have to include anyone else?
Ah, but that was it, why it hurt the most. He'd missed Keisuke most of all, and he'd known there would be something in between them, but nothing so great that they couldn't talk, that they couldn't-
"No, I take it back." He corrected himself again, careful to mask his tears with rage. "Why do you keep closing me out? I care about you, alright? I'm here." Never had he said anything so passionately to a friend before, and he spoke with his hands.
I became strong so that you could lean on me, stupid!
"Talk to me!" He demanded.
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