Random Writing is about my life, and Happy-GO-Lucky is where I write my fanfiction. The name- just don't ask. Writing makes me happy.

First Love

I was sure I was in love.

Whenever I am near him, there's this weird feeling I get. My heart starts beating really fast, I sweat, and my knees go weak. It happens. Every single time. I've never had these feelings before. I wonder what it is.

One day, I decide to tell Namiko about it. She tells me what it is: My first love. I didn't want to believe it at first, but it was true. I was in love with him.

I tried to find ways to make him notice me. I put on makeup, wore nice clothes and jewllery, and talked in a high voice. He just looked at me funny and kept walking. I tried too many things. Finally I left myself alone. That was when he started talking to me.

We talked about random things before class. The weather, sports, homework, and sometimes even our lives. I was so happy, I couldn't describe it. Who wouldn't be?

More and more, we spent more time with each other. We studied together, ate lunch together, and talked together. Like best friends. But I always wanted to be more than just friends. I wanted to grasp his hand, and feel the warmth in his hug. But I knew and believed that my dream would stay the same. I wanted to confess my feelings to him, but I worried that our friendship might not be the same.

One day, however, he took me under a tree in the park. And he kissed me. Just like that. I had stood there, stunned for a moment. And that's when I realized he had feelings for me too. We both stayed under that tree and talked about our feelings for each other. It was probably the best day of my life. I couldn't stop smiling. And I was sure I went to bed with a smirk on my face.

But now, it's the next day, and he hasn't said a word to me. I just didn't understand. He was avoiding me. Why would he do that if he loves me? Is it some kind of thing boys do? No, it couldn't be. I've seen the movies. It's not like this. Or maybe... he just outgrew me. Maybe he likes another girl like Kyoko Minami or something. Maybe I wasn't good enough for him. Did I do something wrong? I kept asking myself these questions in each class. I barely paid any attention.

I don't understand you at all, I thought, my eyes brimming with tears. Then he turned and looked at me. I looked away quickly.

Well, I guess that's that, I told myself at lunch, opening my locker. I didn't like him that much anymore, anyway. I was so preoccupied I didn't notice he was standing right behind me.