Chibi Artist Girl (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/05/21 | Reply
I came here looking for some info about the world/story to do your prize request and enjoyed this little story snippet! I’m glad they’ll be okay!!
Just one thing (and something I’ve struggled with too): It’s a little bit hard to tell what’s going on in some parts because there’s not much description. For instance, in the part with Lucard and his buddies at the bar, I got confused because I thought only two people were talking at first, but then more names started popping up as the scene went on. Just having a little bit at the outset saying something like, “Three men were sitting at the bar,” would help. ^^
Vellatra
Otakuite | Posted 12/05/21 | Reply
@kita mikichi:
Thanks for the advice! Looking back this does look rather vague. Maybe I'll modify that for clarity.
Last edited by Vellatra at 7:21:57 PM EST on December 5, 2021.
kita mikichi
Chibi Artist Girl (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 12/05/21 | Reply
I came here looking for some info about the world/story to do your prize request and enjoyed this little story snippet! I’m glad they’ll be okay!!
Just one thing (and something I’ve struggled with too): It’s a little bit hard to tell what’s going on in some parts because there’s not much description. For instance, in the part with Lucard and his buddies at the bar, I got confused because I thought only two people were talking at first, but then more names started popping up as the scene went on. Just having a little bit at the outset saying something like, “Three men were sitting at the bar,” would help. ^^
Vellatra
Otakuite | Posted 10/29/21 | Reply
@CrazyOldReb:
Oopsie! I was copy-typing it from a notebook and went quite fast. Caught most of the typos.... Four eyes are always better than two! Thanks dear.
Last edited by Vellatra at 11:17:35 AM EDT on October 29, 2021.
CrazyOldReb
Otakuite | Posted 10/29/21 | Reply
You wrote "At least she's load," instead of "loud."