Def. agree. In Psychology, there's the concept that all emotionally healthy people have others who act as "soil" for them; people who they can always "be themselves" around because there is a mutual understanding that said people will always love and support (unconditional positive regard, IIRC) them no matter what. And I think the willingness to let people cry and be openly emotional without ridiculing them probably has a lot to do with why some people are "soil" for their loved ones and others are hardly ever.

So yeah. I don't think I'm ever going to be that person who reveals personal aspects of my life to just anyone, but as long as I or anyone else has soil, then we all should be all right. :)

Having a laid-back attitude can be both a blessing and a curse, a double-edged sword if you like.

I hope that things are going well for this strong-person you know. I know what you mean when someone acts out of character... But it can't be helped, I guess.

I've always thought the really strong ones were those who didn't try to hide from their feelings. They cry, they get upset and then they move on because they were strong enough to accept and deal with the strong feelings and reactions from the emotions.

I'm not sure if I'm saying this right, but I've always had a lot of respect for people who aren't afraid to cry. If that makes any sense. Anyway, I hope things get better. ^_^

-Sabrina

@:

It's not that I'm proud of crying or anything when it happens. I just accept that it does happen and try not to worry about appearances or anything, is all.

I think I'd rather PM you on this one... *shifty eyes*

Man, this is like my whole life right here. I have to say that I identify completely with what you have written.

I was the exact same way when I was a kid -- probably for different reasons, I'm guessing, but the same nonetheless. My first strategy toward changing that was indeed bottling everything up inside. It feels horrible. I was angry everyday, I yelled at the people I cared about and I was just a prick in general.

Eventually, though, I realized that the best way to deal with things is to put them in perspective -- to acknowledge them and deal with them rather than ignore them. To use a potentially gross analogy, it's like if you get a nasty cut on your leg: if you ignore that cut, it might heal, but it could also become infected, fester, and then ... amputation. If you do not deny the cut's presence, however, then you can take steps toward healing it.

(Side note: I feel like I am going to use this analogy to explain things to my son and/or daughter in 15-20 years ... lol.)

Anyway, I prefer being laid back to being constantly on edge. Needlessly burying shit inside oneself is no fun at all.

[hugs you tight]

Since you said it so openly I guess I can be honest too. I am certainly that "strong person" who bottled up things. I keep going like nothing has ever happened and after awhile I break down usually with something small and I cry so much that I usually end up sleeping because I'm exhausted of crying.
But over the years you kept by my side and teach me how it is normal to show people how sensitive you are without feeling too ridiculous about it. I can actually say now that I can feel comfortable crying in front of people, something that I couldn't do before.

Being sensitive and emotional whenever something bad hits you is not bad and should be considered as normal, you taught me that. You have also told me over and over again this quote:

"It can't rain forever, right?"

Every time, every single time I get hit by bad things that keep trying to pull me down, your words come to my mind and that's what keeps me going.

You're definitely a "rock" which we can go to for rescue but just don't forget that sometimes "rocks" can get damage and get hurt sometimes so its also normal to ask for help if you need it.

I hope things get better and I hope this special person who broke down feels better very very soon and realizes that being that "strong person" is not good at all.

I love you and I'll be sending all my love to you and your family.

[hugs]

Then I guess I would consider myself "over emotional" I am prone to the subtle tears as well as the massive "Im gonna kill you" outburst of weeping anger. But I also consider myself balanced, because I know what triggers those reactions and can distance myself from them when I see them coming.

People have praised me for being the "rock", but like you said, what they dont know is that the "stable" person takes far too much abuse from the ships trying to anchor to that rock. Its often the smallest thing that will get me over the edge, "youre complaining about that?!?"; "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IVE GONE THROUGH LATELY? AND YOURE BITCHING ABOUT THAT?!?!" Thats usually how that goes.

I hope your friend can see his way through this without too much collateral damage. Its a pain in the ass to go through.

*gives James massive hugs* I love you, man. Feel free to hit up my rock any time you need to :3

Hm, I hope whoever this strong-person you know is, is feeling better now.

It is definitely weird to see people cry whom you don't associate the act with. I get uncomfrotable whenever I see my dad get kind of weepy, especially by things he sees on TV. He told me that as you get older and you've been through hard times, your tendency to cry over anything remotely emotional increases, and I'm beginning to find that quite true.