Ooh, I really like this! Your narrator's casual, sarcastic tone is fantastic, and I love how he comes around to considering the issue at the end. Only little nitpick I have is that you might want to cut back just a little on the ellipses. Not take them out all together, just cut back a little! But other than that, I just read it the whole way through without losing the thread at all!
Raid Boss (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/08/08 | Reply
Seriously, you were making that up as you wrote? Brilliant. It's cool you did it in 1st person, and I really liked the whole kinda used-to-be apathetic tone and now is contemplative...you kinda get what I'm saying? Anyways, I liked it. Good job!
Nehszriah
Hits Self With Axe (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/10/08 | Reply
Nice. I enjoyed the feel of the piece, which was rather nonchalant about the entire situation.
I like the ellipises...ses...seses... *sticks tongue out* Blah! Can't speak! Mrh.
Yeah! Anyways, I liked it. ^_^
Be true, be you and of course, be otaku.
SomeGuy
Canadian Liaison (Team) | Posted 06/09/08 | Reply
@NightBeck:
Ease up on the ellipses. Yeah, I reckon I could swing that (and they are things I love to hammer on, so it's fair to point it out).
Glad you two liked it!
NightBeck
Otaku Eternal | Posted 06/09/08 | Reply
Ooh, I really like this! Your narrator's casual, sarcastic tone is fantastic, and I love how he comes around to considering the issue at the end. Only little nitpick I have is that you might want to cut back just a little on the ellipses. Not take them out all together, just cut back a little! But other than that, I just read it the whole way through without losing the thread at all!
red tigress
Raid Boss (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/08/08 | Reply
Seriously, you were making that up as you wrote? Brilliant. It's cool you did it in 1st person, and I really liked the whole kinda used-to-be apathetic tone and now is contemplative...you kinda get what I'm saying? Anyways, I liked it. Good job!