I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
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Omg, so the creepy neighbor guy of mine was standing outside our apartment building. He stopped and waited for me when he recognized my car. Before getting out, I made a point of calling my brother so I had someone to talk to for 2 reasons:
1. In case something happened (the most unlikely reason)
2. So the creepy neighbor guy couldn't talk to me.
I have 3 months left in this shit hole, and then I have to get out of here. I am literally terrified of something happening every time I come home. I keep meaning to get a taser so I have something to defend myself with, but I haven't had the time, yet. Sigh.
Oh my gosh, you guys! I have been so busy! So busy that I haven’t had time to do much of anything. My poor apartment needs to be cleaned so badly, and my laundry is getting dangerously low… But I’m going to my parent’s house this weekend. Hoping they’ll let me bring my laundry home to get it done so I have something clean to wear to work!
As I have said, I worked 40 hours at both jobs last week. And today is the first day I’m had off from the waitressing job in 6 days. But god I am tired. I made $300 this weekend in tips, so that’s good. Yesterday was a slow day, so they sent me home early. I went to sleep early. Well, kind of early, anyway.
Work has been going great other than for 2 reasons.
1. I am now in a constant state of pain in my legs. They can’t take being on my feet for 7 straight hours yet, and they get so bad that when I go to bed and lay down, they are numb. It’s terrible. And then this morning when I woke up, it’s like I had a kink in my knee, and I could barely walk. I think I got the kink out finally after 3 hours of painfully trying to get around the building at work, but it’s still pretty back.
2. One of my coworkers is smitten with me. And he’s a good guy, but he takes every opportunity he can to touch me. Especially my side and back and shoulders. On Saturday night, when he left, he gave me a shoulder massage and then kissed my neck. He sent me a message on Facebook apologizing for his rash behavior, and I made up some excuse about not being ready to date anyone right now. I mean, he’s been to prison, has 4 kids with 2 different women. That’s a lot of baggage that I don’t want to get involved with. But he’s so persistant. I don’t know what to do.
There’s another coworker that I like that I told him that the other guy keeps touching me and that I’ll probably try to be around him more than other guy so I can try to keep the touching to a minimum. But I feel like I’ve waited too long to say anything now that it would be weird to say something…
I did the ALS ice bucket challenge on Saturday. Cold, but fun! I also went garage saleing. I found a bread maker for $4.00 and a tea set from Japan for like 5 bucks. I don’t even drink tea, but it was so pretty I couldn’t pass it up.
If you want, I can put up the video of my ice bucket challenge. But only if you people want to see me get wet and cold. haha.
Other than that, I’ve pretty much constantly working. Tonight I’m going to be hanging out with a friend of mine who just got engaged last week. So that’ll be new. I am now the only girl in my circle who doesn’t have a boyfriend and isn’t engaged. It kind of sucks. But oh well.
What have you all been up to? I try to read your posts in the mornings before work when I can!
When I get tired, like I am right now, I get flustered and upset more easily. And when I get this tired, I stop caring so much about tip-toeing around everyone around me, and I kind of start just saying what I really feel.
And I can say for the first time in my life, it feels great. I’m not taking anyone’s crap. I’m sticking up for myself.
Joe and I got into a little tizzy because I was complaining about having to work two full time jobs this week, and before I can even get going with it, he tells me he might get fired. And I’m immediately, like, what happened? Why? What’s going on? and he’s saying the company might not exist anymore. And all I said was ‘that doesn’t sound good’ in the hopes that it would prompt him to continue. I didn’t mean for it to come off as nonchalant. But apparently it did because he’s telling me I don’t care about it nor should I and just won’t answer any of my questions about it and that I didn’t ask what happend-though two seconds later he said nevermind, which I’m not sure if that meant he found the text where I did say that or if he’s telling me he doesn’t want to talk about it. But I defended myself and apologized if I came across as not caring. And then he did a 180 and was like, I won’t see you until october, and when I asked why, he said it was because he’s got to stay with his family for a month (because he’s moving into an apartment on his own, but it won’t be ready until october). And I countered with: “And that means you can never leave the house?” I mean, I get that I wouldn’t be able to hang out with him at his parent’s place, but I don’t get why that means he can’t come hang out at my place or we could still hang out at the bar like usual. And he was just like, right. And then he says he wanted to see me but good night. And so I’m like, what, now you don’t want to see me? A half an hour later when he still hadn’t responded, I sent it again. But nothing. So this morning, I sent him another text saying, “So since you decided you didn’t want to see me last night, I guess I won’t see you until October.” and I’m waiting for a response, but I doubt I’ll get one. So I guess I have to go a month and a half before I see him again.
But I’m upset about this whole thing because during this entire conversation, he never once took my feelings into account. I mean, I was trying to tell him about a problem I had, and he has to counter with an even bigger problem without even acknowledging my problem at all. And I wanted to be like, well, you MIGHT get fired, but I AM getting fired. So now who wins? But I didn’t because I hate when people do that to me. And then the whole telling me I don’t care about the whole thing. Like, don’t tell me how I feel. I have a lot of friends that still work there, so of course I care. I would have thought he’d know me better. But I’m beginning to think he hardly knows me at all even though we’ve been together but not together for 2 years. And then to tell me he won’t see for a month and a half. What am I supposed to do? Wait for him? I don’t think so. He only ever texts me when he wants me to come over so we can sleep together. I try to text him other days, but he always ignores them. So does that mean in this month and a half, I’m not going to hear from him ever? That’s not okay. At all. Not even a little. And I refuse to put up with it. And then to stop talking to me when I was clearly still upset and not wanting to talk about the problem. I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was so upset. I hate going to bed angry.
And now today I’m just not okay. I feel terrible. I’m tired. I’m upset. I’m cranky. And now I have to work 16 hour days where i have to pretend to be happy for 7 straight hours for three days. How nice.
Just watch this. It's only a minute. I promise you won't regret it
I've watched this at least 20 times a million today
Omg, last night I was scheduled to work till midnight. I didn't get home till 12:30 and then I didn't get to bed until after 1. And then I was up at 7, which may not seem so bad to some of you late night owls, but I'm used to being in bed by 10 during the week.
I got next week's schedule. I work 40 hours at each of my jobs next week. I'll work 80 hours. And I'll be working 64 hours in 5 days. On Wednesday through Friday, I don't even get a break in between jobs. I go straight from one job right into the other, and I get literally no breaks at my waitressing job. So, I'll work 7 hours straight with absolutely no breaks. But that's not even going to be as bad as Sunday when I'll be working from 11 am to midnight. 13 fucking hours after only training for a week. Nice. And I'm pissed because I told them I didn't want to work till 2. And I requested to get off earlier so that I can actually get a decent amount of sleep so I'm not sleep deprived for the job that I really want (the bank) I've only had 2 shifts so far at this job and I'm already having problems.
