I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
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Remember how I dropped out of school?
For the longest time, I was worried about telling Joe about it. I mean, he has 5 degrees. Some of them Masters degrees. Education is important to him. Knowledge is important to him. So, it took me a few weeks to finally get around to telling him. And when I did, it was sort of a by-the-way type of thing via text that I almost feel was overlooked. He's never said one word about it to me. He never discussed it, told me I shouldn't do it or that I should. It just has never come up.
I was talking to this guy I met online, like, an hour ago. We were just getting to know each other and whatever, and in my profile, it says I dropped out of college. And he was telling me how I should go back and that it's important and that he'd help me. Things I've been told time and time again by my friends. And then he asks why my 'boy toy' hasn't talked to me about this. He didn't even ask if we had or not. He just knew. How, I don't know. But, I just stopped short. I hadn't even thought about it.
Should I be worried about that?
Been playing Call of Duty Black Ops 2 for about four or five hours. Went up 6 almost 7 levels because it's doing a special where you get double the XP. I've gone up more levels in the past few hours than I have in the past 30 days.
So, my best friend: John. I have had a slight crush on him for about 4 years on and off again. And with everything happening with Joe, I'm extra vulnerable and stressed right now. And John gives me a lot of attention, which I like.
But I had a friend tell me yesterday that he kissed her. And that they did other things. And it physically hurt. But I can't tell her that. I'm not supposed to like him. No one knows it.
So last night, i was hanging out with both of them and a couple other friends. I had to spend the night at my friend's dorm and while i was 'sleeping' they were kissing and stuff. I knew it. And I already felt like shit with the whole joe thing and then this. I was making myself sick. But i have to pretend to be supportive and like it doesn't hurt. I hate this.
The fact that you’re struggling doesn't make you a burden. It doesn't make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn't make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren't always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren't all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness. ~Daniell Koepke
