I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead. I greet the new with open arms. I trust life to be wonderful. – Louise Hay
"You can be the worlds greatest hero, or its most mild mannered citizen, the only person who can write your story, is you!" - Jonathan Kent to Clark Kent
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SO, I just finished talking to Joe. And was telling him how I don't want to go 8 months more of him telling me he'd rather be alone, and that it hurt
and I told him i just didn't know what to do about it anymore.
And he asked if I was breaking up with him. I had my out. There it was, but I started crying. I don't want to break up with him. It hurts so much. SO I told him it depended on him and whether or not he thinks he will want to be with me more than he wants to be alone. and at first he said he can't text anymore, so I said I could do this in person or over the phone because I want to get this figured out and he says he will keep trying to make it better. And I told him I will do anything I can to help. I just can't stop crying right now. I had my fucking out and I couldn't take it.
I think I have marriage of the brain.
We talk about it at work a lot- we were all looking at engagement rings last week; everyone I graduated high school with is either getting married or already is.
So, last night, I had a dream about it. I was supposed to be closing down the bank. So I did. And I left and was walking around the neighborhood when I noticed someone coming out of the bank with a bag that I knew was full of cash. He raced by me, and I tried to stop him but couldn't. So, I called the police and waited, unsure of what to do.
MY dad and brother are coming over to me with my dog, Bandit. Who died 8 years ago. I played with them. We went to some hotel that looked like Bally's from Vegas and then I left and went to Burger King, which is right next door to wait. In my dream, it was closer than what it really is. So then I was telling the people at BK about the robbery and finally the police pull up and as I'm getting ready to leave, one of the workers, who was a cook, comes up and gives me a hug, telling me he wanted to marry me.
I smile and went to talk to the police. I was so worried it was my fault for the break in. Then, all of a sudden, I'm in some sort of break room and everyone that works at the bank is there. I'm sitting on some counters against the wall with Mike, one of the bankers standing next to me.
Then Carissa, another coworker, grabs a microphone and is like, "Ok, everyone, something big is going to happen to Miss Nikki." And she's looking directly at Mike, who is freaking out. He tells her she better not be doing this to him. Apparently they were trying to set Mike and I up together. He didn't want that. So, then, she looks to Matt (Who is really married in RL, by the way. But, I think he was married in my dream to, so not sure how that works). And is like, Matt, do you want to?
And for some reason, I couldn't really hear what he had to say. I'm looking at Carissa for some sort of clue to know what he has said. She smiles at me, and I know he said he did. Then I'm giving everyone hugs before I give Matt a hug. Him saying he'd marry me saved me from something, and I was so grateful, I couldn't let go.
Then I woke up.
It was the weirdest thing ever.
