@Sarasface:

I think it is for a lot of people.

@DemonsandAngels:

I'm thinking it'll be that way for us too.

@Sarasface:

In my experience, it's when you move out of the dorms and get on your own that you tend to appreciate your family more. My family and I didn't get to be as close as we are until after I went to college.

@DemonsandAngels:

Yes, that's true. Anyways, I'm going off to college and I think that living in the dorm will reduce the family tension.

@Sarasface:

And maybe she is trying to live through you. Not saying it's right what she's doing, but I truly believe that parents do what they do because they think it's the best thing to do given the options. Like, what my dad did to me wasn't right at all. But, he had my best intentions in mind at the time. He just wanted the best thing for me. And I love him for it, but I also hated that he pushed me so hard. But, I recognize that it's hard to find a middle ground.

@DemonsandAngels:

You're right. I sometimes feel like my mom tried to live through me. She was overweight and shy in her teens. She never hung out with the "popular" kids and she struggled in school and had to work really hard to keep her grades up. I think she wanted a thin, conventionally pretty, cheerful, popular daughter with good grades and a booming social life. What she got was the imperfect human being that I am, a child who likes to read and never has enough books, hangs out with the friends she likes, et cetera. Although here's an angle she may not have considered: a lot of the "popular" kids party a lot and skip school and drink and smoke weed and all that stuff. I don't really do that. It's not that I don't want to--I have been really tempted to do all of those things, many times. But I don't. So I may not be perfect and I'm definitely not the "american dream" child, but I still feel like she should be counting her blessings rather than complain or compare me to that picture-perfect daughter she doesn't have. Because that isn't what would make me happy, and I'm not going to pretend for her.

@Sarasface:

I think it's a bit interchangable. Your parents do want you to be happy as yourself. They care about your happiness more than we will ever know, but image is a big part of our society unfortunately, and they want you to have a good image because then people can't make fun of you. If you can somehow be happy as yourself and have the right image, your parents would be happy because that would make you happy. Unfortunately, that's not how it always works.

@DemonsandAngels:

My parents confused "being happy with yourself" with "being thought well of by others." So, although I'm sure this isn't entirely true, I've often felt that they didn't care about my happiness as much as image.

Hey The clock next to you says its almost 25 munites past 2^^ That's so cool..LOl I had to say that..^_^'..I'm such a dork...LOL

@Sarasface:

I hear ya. I could keep writing about this for years if given the opportunity. I know that my parents were pushing me to hang out with the popular crowd, to try new things, to be healthier all to make me as happy as they had been in high school. If you're popular and skinnier, people don't make fun of you. And they just wanted me to be happy, not knowing that I could be completely happy on my own with friends I made that weren't popular. They had my best interests in heart, and I love them for it. They just didn't always go about it the way I would with my children.

I am a very happy person by nature. And when I hit college, all the negative parts of my life, I left behind, so my joy and happiness was really able to come out. My life may not be what I had originally thought it should be, but that doesn't mean it isn't great and wonderful in its own way. I have learned to look at life through different lens. Yes, today sucked ass, but there was something in it, perhaps many somethings, that made it okay. That made me smile and feel better. And that's what I hold on to.

It's a very good thing that you're still trying and still believe in yourself. My parents kind of pushed me in the wrong directions too, but I believe that's because they're unhappy and don't know what really matters. I think they decided to have kids before they were ready (but what can anyone do about that? Me and David are here now and regretting it won't do any good for either of us. However, I've decided I'm not going to have kids until I'm happy and well and have decided what's important in life. How can I teach my children what to think and what's important if I'm not sure of it myself?) I was always a skinny kid, but when I hit twelve all I wanted to do was eat, all the time. I think I was covering up my insecurities with food, the same as my mom does. She and my dad began to get on my case and that made me more insecure, which made me eat more. I didn't gain a lot of weight until I was fourteen because I was still growing and active, but once I hit high school I became depressed and sensitive about my appearance, I ate more and exercised less and began to drown out my life in TV, and that's when it started to pile on. I lost the weight at the end of my sophomore year and then I put on some muscle and got in shape. Exercise and writing made me feel better. I'm still not sure of myself and have a hard time with trust, but I believe in myself more strongly than I did starting high school four years ago. And now I know better than to follow the direction of my parents. So yeah, that's my little rant there. That's only the tip of the iceberg, but I could write a novel that could take you days to read if I went any further. I hope that you continue to grow in confidence and that you end up happy.