Thank you so much for that Sayura, I appreciate that a lot. :)
My dad isn't like any other man in this world. I don't know what happened in his childhood but his family broke his spirit and he never got it back. That and his personality is twisted, when things are "fine" and I'm using that word loosely, he can be all those nice things. But he never let anyone know "who he is" and he gets into this moods where we (me, sis and mom) are the bad guys and never done anything for him (we were are the only ones that always been there for him, flaws and all). It's hard to talk to him about real personal stuff because you will never know what you'll get. So you don't say anything and watch what you say around him, which leads to walking on egg shells 24/7. It's a really strained, stressful and strange relationship and this just the tip of the ice berg.
On top of that, with the neighbor situation, we are all on our own. And he done things that actually hindered us from getting real solution on that. It's a mess.
I love my dad and always will, but I'm making a point where, me at least, is saying "no" to his pathetic ways. I wish no ill will on him but I have to (as well as my family) drop the dead weight.
I hate confrontation and it's simply not in my personality to go off the way I did unless I'm pushed to that point, where only my dad can really do haha. This happened a few times since he moved in and all of my family got into very heated situations with him. I'm not sure what made this one different for me, but the event on Monday was one too many...
I don't want to throw my dad totally under the bus because he does do things for us and has those "pure" moments and parts of his personally. But again, since his childhood wasn't great, it got screwed up bad and there is so much a person can take. The bad landslides the good.
Other then that, I'm SUPER PROUD of you to hear that you are making such great changes in your life. I'm seriously honored to hear that I contributed in it as well. I don't know where all this fire comes from or the drive but it's easily lit in my rear end when I need it haha. And it's honestly how I got through some rough personal lows, depression, anger and the whole nine. It has made me stronger especially in spirit which I would never change for anything.
I'm also really thrilled that you and your parents, especially your dad are having a much better relationship. I remember how that time was for you, and it does hurt being at odds with a father since they are such an influence in your life. I was more then happy to help you and I'm glad that you took the time to resolve it with stellar results! I wouldn't want anything less! :D
Appreciating (I love the way you worded that by the way) your life and everything in it is such a GREAT journey to take. You learn so much about yourself that you didn't realize before, and make great changes that seem impossible. I couldn't be more happy to hear you say that haha! Since I officially started my journey back in March, I've changed a lot in such a short time. I'm a lot happier with my life as it is now, as well loving the things I'm doing for my future and goals. I learned to change around old thinking habits and create some really positive changes that only helped me from then on.
I think the best part of it is that, it wasn't no where near as hard as I thought it would be. It still has challenges but it gets so much easier as long as you're committed. You'll be addicted (in a positive way lol) to making your life work and flow in such a way you won't let yourself fall back to where you came from!
So I'm super excited for you and want to hear all about it whenever you get the chance! I always read your world posts and it really does seem like your life has gain a radiance that I haven't seen before. You work hard but you seem so excited and happy with your life that it's totally worth it, and a lot of people can't say that! I'm always proud to see you progress and turn into a fine young WOMEN haha!
If you ever need help, advice or anything let me know, I'll be more then happy to help! :)
And again I'm so thankful that I was able to inspire you to new heights, that is the best compliment a person can receive! *super hugs*
Little Sayu (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/28/12 | Reply
Truly-chan, can I just say that I really admire what you did? I know I've told you countless times before, but I've always admired your strength and you've inspired me to definitely take control of my life. I have it written on my desk "Never put your hand out to get your head cut off" and it always is a reminder of that time when I struggled against my parents and decided to find a solution with the help of all of my wonderful friends and my own volition. Now I've found a happier medium with them and it's because I decided to take the initiative to write that letter to my dad- and I'm glad I did that. I wouldn't have been able to if not for your encouragement, Truly-chan.
In regards to your dad, I can't really see it from his point of view(obviously), but he DEFINITELY could have been a LOT more responsive, helpful and caring in regards to those situations. It was awful that he didn't want to pitch in to take care of the family during those crises, and I'm glad you decided on a solution and acted on it. I may not necessarily agree with it 100%(because it's probably not what I personally would have done), but everyone has their own way of getting to the same solutions and roots of problems, so I applaud you for standing up for yourself and the rest of your family when you felt it right to do so.
Recently, I had a HUGE revelation that I wanted to appreciate my life, my body and myself in general more because I wanted to live it the RIGHT way and the way that I want to. My parents have let me double major in Japanese and Journalism as I wanted, and now it's up to me to decide what I want to do with them. They've given me support, even though I was at odds with them a lot, and now I'm finding that it's definitely time for me to take care of myself so that I can become more confident and strong in spirit and health. You DEFINITELY played a huge part in my wanting to be better, so thank you so so much Truly-chan.
I'm tired of my mom letting people walk all over her, so I hope she comes to that realization too and I don't have to keep stepping in to take control of her life and do something that SHE wants, not what someone ELSE wants. But I'm going to do my best to focus on me, and hopefully that'll help her realize that she needs to take care of herself and her needs too.
Thanks so so SO much Truly-chan!! You really are an inspiration and I'm so SO glad to have you as my friend. <3
Yours Truly
The Queen of Sweet (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/28/12 | Reply
@aragorn1014:
Thank you so much for that Sayura, I appreciate that a lot. :)
My dad isn't like any other man in this world. I don't know what happened in his childhood but his family broke his spirit and he never got it back. That and his personality is twisted, when things are "fine" and I'm using that word loosely, he can be all those nice things. But he never let anyone know "who he is" and he gets into this moods where we (me, sis and mom) are the bad guys and never done anything for him (we were are the only ones that always been there for him, flaws and all). It's hard to talk to him about real personal stuff because you will never know what you'll get. So you don't say anything and watch what you say around him, which leads to walking on egg shells 24/7. It's a really strained, stressful and strange relationship and this just the tip of the ice berg.
On top of that, with the neighbor situation, we are all on our own. And he done things that actually hindered us from getting real solution on that. It's a mess.
I love my dad and always will, but I'm making a point where, me at least, is saying "no" to his pathetic ways. I wish no ill will on him but I have to (as well as my family) drop the dead weight.
I hate confrontation and it's simply not in my personality to go off the way I did unless I'm pushed to that point, where only my dad can really do haha. This happened a few times since he moved in and all of my family got into very heated situations with him. I'm not sure what made this one different for me, but the event on Monday was one too many...
I don't want to throw my dad totally under the bus because he does do things for us and has those "pure" moments and parts of his personally. But again, since his childhood wasn't great, it got screwed up bad and there is so much a person can take. The bad landslides the good.
Other then that, I'm SUPER PROUD of you to hear that you are making such great changes in your life. I'm seriously honored to hear that I contributed in it as well. I don't know where all this fire comes from or the drive but it's easily lit in my rear end when I need it haha. And it's honestly how I got through some rough personal lows, depression, anger and the whole nine. It has made me stronger especially in spirit which I would never change for anything.
I'm also really thrilled that you and your parents, especially your dad are having a much better relationship. I remember how that time was for you, and it does hurt being at odds with a father since they are such an influence in your life. I was more then happy to help you and I'm glad that you took the time to resolve it with stellar results! I wouldn't want anything less! :D
Appreciating (I love the way you worded that by the way) your life and everything in it is such a GREAT journey to take. You learn so much about yourself that you didn't realize before, and make great changes that seem impossible. I couldn't be more happy to hear you say that haha! Since I officially started my journey back in March, I've changed a lot in such a short time. I'm a lot happier with my life as it is now, as well loving the things I'm doing for my future and goals. I learned to change around old thinking habits and create some really positive changes that only helped me from then on.
I think the best part of it is that, it wasn't no where near as hard as I thought it would be. It still has challenges but it gets so much easier as long as you're committed. You'll be addicted (in a positive way lol) to making your life work and flow in such a way you won't let yourself fall back to where you came from!
So I'm super excited for you and want to hear all about it whenever you get the chance! I always read your world posts and it really does seem like your life has gain a radiance that I haven't seen before. You work hard but you seem so excited and happy with your life that it's totally worth it, and a lot of people can't say that! I'm always proud to see you progress and turn into a fine young WOMEN haha!
If you ever need help, advice or anything let me know, I'll be more then happy to help! :)
And again I'm so thankful that I was able to inspire you to new heights, that is the best compliment a person can receive! *super hugs*
Love you girl!
aragorn1014
Little Sayu (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 06/28/12 | Reply
Truly-chan, can I just say that I really admire what you did? I know I've told you countless times before, but I've always admired your strength and you've inspired me to definitely take control of my life. I have it written on my desk "Never put your hand out to get your head cut off" and it always is a reminder of that time when I struggled against my parents and decided to find a solution with the help of all of my wonderful friends and my own volition. Now I've found a happier medium with them and it's because I decided to take the initiative to write that letter to my dad- and I'm glad I did that. I wouldn't have been able to if not for your encouragement, Truly-chan.
In regards to your dad, I can't really see it from his point of view(obviously), but he DEFINITELY could have been a LOT more responsive, helpful and caring in regards to those situations. It was awful that he didn't want to pitch in to take care of the family during those crises, and I'm glad you decided on a solution and acted on it. I may not necessarily agree with it 100%(because it's probably not what I personally would have done), but everyone has their own way of getting to the same solutions and roots of problems, so I applaud you for standing up for yourself and the rest of your family when you felt it right to do so.
Recently, I had a HUGE revelation that I wanted to appreciate my life, my body and myself in general more because I wanted to live it the RIGHT way and the way that I want to. My parents have let me double major in Japanese and Journalism as I wanted, and now it's up to me to decide what I want to do with them. They've given me support, even though I was at odds with them a lot, and now I'm finding that it's definitely time for me to take care of myself so that I can become more confident and strong in spirit and health. You DEFINITELY played a huge part in my wanting to be better, so thank you so so much Truly-chan.
I'm tired of my mom letting people walk all over her, so I hope she comes to that realization too and I don't have to keep stepping in to take control of her life and do something that SHE wants, not what someone ELSE wants. But I'm going to do my best to focus on me, and hopefully that'll help her realize that she needs to take care of herself and her needs too.
Thanks so so SO much Truly-chan!! You really are an inspiration and I'm so SO glad to have you as my friend. <3