And so Salazar began to teach to that enthusiastic boy everything he knew about sewing. He wondered it had been just a little curiosity if him, and if he would got tired quickly about it. After all sewing wasn’t the most exciting pastime to try. But he never showed himself bored, and always listened carefully, actually trying his best to learn the basics. He even showed proudly at Salazar his attempt of patching that had done at home to practice.
Salazar was really glad to have someone like him to share his passion. He was happy to being listened so carefully and felt almost proud of the boy’s improvement. He never had felt that way before. It was almost like he was finally necessary to someone.
As the weeks passed and they went by, the two became more and more close. Devin was a sincere and affable person, with whom Salazar began to open up. He told him how he was the only male among many sisters in his family, which led him to like girlish hobbies. For its part Salazar told him how his father hated the fact that he was interested that kind of activity, and its eternal struggle to be a good son for which not be ashamed.
The boy listened thoughtful, then commented that his father couldn’t understand how important was for him all that, and he should have been proud of his talented and wonderful son. Devin called him that way, wonderful, and without any embarrassment. Salazar blushed at that comment, and felt happy. He had never talked to anyone about all that, thinking that people would have judged him like a spoiled and ungrateful son. But he felt in his heart that he could really say anything to Devin.
When he was with him he felt at ease like never before. Actually, Salazar found himself thinking about the boy many more times than normal. Almost without realizing he began to blush every time they were near, and when the lessons were over and he returned home, was already thinking about the next week, when he would have seen him again.
At the beginning he even paid any attention to all these feelings, so much seemed natural. But as time passed, Salazar began to feel something growing more and more inside him, starting to upset him.
Salazar didn’t understand what was that warmth he felt inside, and why he always felt so happy when he was at Devin’s side. Those emotions confused him, because he couldn’t define them. Or rather he knew what he was feeling, but was afraid, in real terror, because he also knew that it was absolutely wrong and against all the good sense and the rules that they had taught him in his youth. Could a mere sentiment go against his very own nature?
Salazar tried to repress everything at the bottom, in the deepest part of his mind, but his heart couldn’t be deceived. Which became obvious when one day, during a lesson their hands touched. Nothing special. But that touch alone, the quick contact made him feel butterflies in the stomach. That night, in his bed, Salazar looked at his hand and whispered "I'm in love with Devin." Saying it made it all more clear and real.
He felt completely torn apart. Those sentiments were completely wrong from him, and yet felt so right. Once again he was proving to be a flawed person. If only his father would know about it… What he could about all that? He couldn’t just stopped giving lessons to Devin without a good reason, and he didn’t had the courage to quit the classes, since it was the only thing he really loved and gave him a reason to continue living. He decided that just had to hold back his feelings, and keep acting as always. Maybe with time those feeling would have disappeared and everything could have returned to normality. Yet, there was a little voice inside him that kept remembering what was best to do.. and it was a legendary sounding voice. “No!” Salazar exclaimed to himself. “I will do what is right this time! I won’t disappoint anyone!”
Devin had proved a good student. Since he had learned the basics at that point, he didn’t needed too much help anymore, and in the case, he asked to the Leavannys for advice. So Salazar could keep working on his tapestry. Being his first time doing a full one, he had decided to do a small one, but the design was quite elaborate, so it would have taken more time to finish it. The two boys worked side by side, and often Devin stopped to contemplate Salazar’s work and compliment him. Salazar would have been proud of his job too, but it was too busy trying to look casual and disinterested.
One day, after the lesson, rather than say goodbye and give him appointment to the next week, like all the other times, Devin asked Salazar to go with him in the forest for a walk. Salazar wondered about the reason of that request, and as if he had read his mind, Devin smiled. "I don’t feel like going straight home. I would like to stay some more time with you.” Salazar felt his guts writhing, but accepted the invite. It was crazy from him to agree to be alone with Devin! Why did he accepted, when his feelings were so evident? Wrong, completely wrong! Kept telling himself as he walked next to the boy.
Devin pointed to a lonely and calm looking clearing. They sat down on the soft grass, where a ray of sunlight peeked through the trees, warming them. At that moment everything seemed absolutely still and quiet, a stillness that seemed to anticipate something spectacular that was going to happen. Surrounded in sunlight, Devin appeared diaphanous, almost ethereal. Suddenly he moved closer to Salazar. "I'm happy to be here with you. You know… I feel good in your company.” Said, rubbing the back of his head with a shy smile. “I feel the same way about you” responded Salazar before he could hold back. Biting his tongue for that, still he couldn’t not break his stare from Devin’s one.
Now Salazar was so close to him that he could feel his heart beat. Was it throbbing as fast as his own one perhaps? Why they were so close? Why it seemed so natural? Before he knew it, their lips met. It was as if their bodies moved with a will on their own, and now they were exchanging an innocent kiss. Their lips were barely touching. Salazar’s mind stopped, unable to form any thought. With closed eyes and a warmth that came from inside.
But as soon as they divided, reality crushed over him like a wave. What the heck was he doing? He had just given a kiss, his first kiss, to that boy! Why did that happened? And above all, why had been so damn good? His doubts had become a terrible reality in the end. But he knew that it wasn’t right for him to have those feelings. He looked down at his own hands clasped in his lap, not having the courage to look up and cross Devin’s gaze. How he would have reacted now? He could have told someone about it perhaps? A wave of panic overwhelmed him. He had to say something immediately, to fix things up before it was too late.
"I ... I'm sorry. I don’t know how this could happen. It’s been a terrible mistake. Please forgive me." he said, his voice shaking. He clenched his hands into fists on his thighs, his face flushing violently. "But why? You didn’t like it?" Devin asked in a whisper. Salazar finally looked up, not sure if he had heard correctly. Devin too was looking the other way, his face equally red, but with a shy smile on his lips.
Salazar felt confused. Did he liked it? How was it possible? "You're… not angry that I kissed you?" he asked him, even more flushed. "I would say that we actually kissed one another" he said, turning and looking coyly at him. "It felt nice, didn’t it?" Salazar held his breath for a second. What was that feeling? They were alone in that corner of the forest. Both frightened, excited and very happy. "Yeah, it felt nice" he said in the end. Devin smiled, and slowly put his hand on Salazar’s one, squeezing it.
In that moment, Salazar didn’t care much anymore about what was right or wrong. He didn’t care about anything at all. As soon as their hands touched, he knew that in that moment there were only the two of them together and that was the only thing that really mattered. They left each other’s hands only when came the time to go home. Not knowing what else to say, Salazar waved goodbye to him and then ran into the wood as fast as possible.
