'Inhale, exhale.'
Keisuke sat up in bed with his head in his hands. No matter how much time passed, he still couldn't quite wrap his head around what happened. He remembers Satomi coming in through the window but after his initial grab for her throat he couldn't recall a thing. Not until he woke up and Mamoru was running for him.
After that he remembered everything.
The very image he worked so hard to maintain came crashing down around him. He'd only hoped to keep it up long enough for him and Mamoru to part ways as they inevitably would. Of course nothing ever went as planned for Keisuke. But now the village was out looking for him all because that Satomi wouldn't leave well enough alone. Keisuke wasn't someone who could be fixed. And it seemed she had to learn that the hard way.
"You okay?"
Keisuke looked to his right. Tomaki was laying there, propped up on his elbow and running his fingers up and down Keisuke's back. Worry coloured his face. As it had been since Keisuke showed up all those days ago without a word. Tomaki was used to that though. The look only surfaced when the news of Keisuke's arrest were broadcasted through the village.
"I'm fine." Keisuke muttered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and pulling on his pants. "You might not see me for a few days."
Tomaki sat up and frowned. "Are you going to do something drastic...?"
Snickering, Keisuke stood and pulled on the rest of his clothes. "I'm going to visit everyone and turn myself in. It's Christmas Eve, after all. I should be with my family."
As a passing thought Keisuke turned around, bent over, and kissed Tomaki lightly on the lips. "Merry Christmas, Tommy."
With that last caring gesture Keisuke vanished only to reappear in front of a place he sometimes frequented. With a sigh and an unconscious grab for his cigarettes, which he'd run out off while he was in hiding, he headed into the Konoha cemetery.
He first stopped off at Shikaku's grave and said a few words. Mostly how Shikamaru's hasn't changed at all but is well on his way to being the main adviser to the Hokage. Next he visited his grandfather, Hiruzen. For the old man he left a photo of Keisuke, Konohamaru, and Kuri all smiling and happy. He didn't live long enough to see Kuri so he hoped his spirit could at least get a glimpse at her. He also stopped by Asuma's grave and gave him a swallow he made out of ash. Usually he grabbed him a pack of cigarettes but Keisuke couldn't exactly walk through the village with his wanted status hanging over his head. Besides, a handmade gift was definitely better.
Lastly he visited someone he probably missed most of all, out of everyone he'd lost. She was taken the most prematurely. He crouched down to the old tombstone and rested his fingers against his friends name.
"Kaoru..." Keisuke smiled sadly. "I can't believe it's already been five years. I don't know how I've survived without you. Mamoru's fine too. I know you probably worry about him, but there's no need. He doesn't need either of us anymore."
For a long while Keisuke said nothing. He just sat there biting his lip and cursing himself quietly. He wasn't going to cry in front of her. If she was still alive she'd just slap him for being such a baby. But finally he let out a sigh and continued.
"Kaoru, I-I screwed up. I've told you everything I've gone through. The months training under Ibiki, all the people I've misled or lied to, all the lies I've lived, all the people that've died... and I thought I could handle it... I had to learn the hard way that I can't. I nearly killed this girl, Satomi. And as much as I want to blame her for it, I was clearly about ready to blow, I have no one to point the finger at but myself. But I'm going to make it right. I'm going to turn myself in and take whatever punishment they give me. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not here again to see you tomorrow. I'll try to get you some flowers when I can."
With his confession finished he stood abruptly, wiping at his moist eyes, and vanished again. This time appearing right in front of the shinobi who guarded the Hokages while they worked. At first they were too stunned to move. Then they crouched down, ready to defend if attacked.
'Boys, if I wanted to hurt you you wouldn't have even realised I was here.' Keisuke thought but instead said aloud, "Heard Naruto and Sasuke were looking for me."
A little shocked that he didn't intend them any harm, the guards reluctantly resumed a more casual stance, yet still weary all the same. They opened the door to the Hokage's office and followed Keisuke as he went inside.
"Lord Hokages, Keisuke Sarutobi has been found." One parroted off and the other nodded.
'Please. Don't give yourself any credit.' Keisuke chuckled dryly to himself.
Naruto was the first to stand and approach. He looked to one of the guards and ordered, "Bring me Ino Yamanaka." Then he turned back to Sasuke. "I'll be back."
Before given a response the blonde Hokage vanished before their eyes and Sasuke and Keisuke were left while the guards went to retrieve Ino. Neither said anything. They just glared at each other relentlessly. Though, eventually, they'd grow tired of the silence.
"Not even going to defend yourself?" Sasuke asked pointedly.
Keisuke shrugged his large shoulders. "I don't see how I can. I don't even remember most of what happened."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed unconsciously at the young Sarutobi. He wanted to doubt what Keisuke'd just said. But something about his tone made Sasuke fell like he wasn't lying. Like he couldn't be bothered by it. It's true, there wasn't a point. Ino would be there momentarily and by using any of the Yamanaka's signature techniques they'd know whether or not he was lying or, more importantly, a threat to the village.
"You called?"
Keisuke didn't even look over his shoulder. He knew Ino was there. And he could practically feel the worry brimming off of her. If there's one thing he hated more than anything, it was worry. Everyone he knew, he parents, his friends, Mamoru, Kimiko, Tomaki, Ino, all of them were always so worried about him. Didn't they realise that everything he put himself through was for them? So he'd be of better use to the village? So they could live without having to fret? He was protecting them, and they just couldn't let him do that. It was absolutely infuriating.
In front of him, Sasuke nodded. "We need to know what happened that night from his eyes."
As Ino walked out in front of him, she nodded and motioned for Keisuke to kneel. He did. Then with that damned worried expression, she placed her hand to his forehead and started pilfering through his head.
The events of that night finally played themselves out clearly. He'd lashed out at Satomi for trying, futilely, to calm him down. To reach through to him. Pointless, really. Both his parents tried and failed. How could she possibly think that Keisuke's resolve would break?
Still, the bloody scene played until... until it didn't. The picture distorted and eventually blacked out entirely. There were mental blocks in place in his mind to prevent such crude extractions. Keisuke'd almost forgot about them.
With a sigh Ino removed her hand from his head. "I saw bits of it, but he's been trained. Even if he's here willingly his subconscious is fighting me." Ino turned to face Sasuke, her hand on her hip. "I haven't mastered the techniques that could get past this sort of mental defence. Even if I tried what I could, Keisuke might end up being reduced to a drooling mess on the floor."
Then, she walked out just as she'd come. Giving Keisuke a brief glance before quickening her pace. The door closed and the two men were alone once more.
"Take me to Ibiki." Keisuke said bluntly. "He's the one who trained me. If there's anyone who can get past it, it's him."
Sasuke hesitated momentarily but nodded eventually. He stepped forward, placed a hand on Keisuke's shoulder, and they vanished.
---
"There's nothing to worry about, Lord Hokage. Keisuke just had a mental break. I'll keep a close eye on him to ensure it doesn't happen again." Ibiki Morino said, tugging on his gloves and stepping away from an exhausted Keisuke.
With a nod, Sasuke vanished once more to inform Naruto of how the events transpired, leaving Keisuke panting and wheezing on the floor.
Ibiki smiled wryly down at his student. "You've gotten soft."
Keisuke glared up the large man. "You try having the information sucked out of your head."
"I thought this is what you trained for."
"Oh shut up." Keisuke almost laughed. "I actually need to ask you a favour while I'm here."
Ibiki smirked. "Anything for my star pupil."
Ibiki's humour always could get a chuckle out of Keisuke. "Seriously sensei. I need you to cut off my emotions again."
The smile on Ibiki's mangled face quickly vanished after hearing that. "Keisuke, that block wasn't supposed to suppress your feelings completely. It was meant to help you get accustomed to your particular line of work."
Keisuke's gaze turned harsh. "I know, just do it. It's better for everyone if they don't care about me. If I become that side of me completely, it'll ensure that the only thing they'll feel for me is contempt."
"Keisuke..." Ibiki tried to reason.
"NO." Keisuke barked. "I don't care about the risks to my psyche, I don't give a shit how painful it'll be. I'm sick of feeling and I'm sick of people looking at me like some wounded dog. Just do it and get it over with."
Sighing, Ibiki raised his right hand and removed his glove.
END
Another thing between Mamoru and me. If there's an option for someone else to respond, you'll be invited in.
After running into Mamoru and kicking out whoever was in his bed, Keisuke prepared for whatever mission he'd be going on next. He tugged on his pants and the mesh he usually wore as a tank top before pulling on his vest and gathering up his kunai. He was a light traveler, usually relying solely on his taijutsu to get him through assignments. If he needed anything else he'd make sure to doubleback to his apartment before leaving to grab it. Once he was ready he headed out without even bothering to lock the door behind him. There wasn't anything of worth in there. If someone wanted to steal from him they could go right ahead. Keisuke wouldn't miss it.
As he walked through the streets he pulled out his cigarettes and he held the front end of one to his mouth. Then he puffed out a small amount of ash, no larger than a droplet of water, and ignited it. The white paper caught easily. That was a personal little trick of his that he was quite proud of. Because after losing three different lighters it was a more cost affective measure than anything else.
Despite living at the other end of the village, Keisuke arrived at the Ninja Academy rather quickly. Most of the time he spent walking passed him in a blur. He didn't pay much attention to those sort of things.
"Keisuke-kun!" A voice called behind him.
He turned, knowing full well who it was. "Yo, Mamoru. Twice in one day, hunh?"
Not really realising what he was saying, Mamoru quirked a brow at his former teammate. "What do you mean?"
Inwardly Keisuke groaned, outwardly he snickered. "This is twice in a single day we've run into each other. I don't remember seeing this much of you since the chunin exams!"
"Oh." Mamoru too snickered. "I guess you're right!"
They both smiled at each other and headed into the Academy together. Mamoru waited down the hall with the guards while Keisuke headed in to meet with a certain knucklehead. Sitting at the centre was Naruto Uzumaki. To his right and scrutinising his work was Sasuke Uchiha, his left, Shikamaru Nara. A close friend of Keisuke's. All around them were several people he didn't recognise nor cared to. He just wanted to get in and out as quick as he could.
"Keisuke." Naruto said, looking over his glasses up at the chunin in front of him. And though his gaze was kind enough at first, it quickly soured. "... no smoking in here."
Looking down at the cigarette between his lips, Keisuke laughed. "Says the Hokage with a frog ash tray?" He said as he motioned to the ceramic bowl with his chin.
"Keisuke..." Shikamaru groaned. "Why can't you learn to keep your mouth shut?"
Clearly not in the mood for Keisuke, like he ever was, Naruto glowered and began shuffling through the papers in front of him. "Alright. I was going to give you a nice A Rank mission to a neighbouring village but I wasn't in a good mood when you came in and now you've pissed me off. You'll be going to Yukigakure. And it's a B Rank mission. You're going to infiltrate a bandit hideout and retrieve the ancient artifacts they stole. So I hope you enjoy the cold, jackass."
Like Keisuke cared where he was sent. He just preferred A Rank missions to count towards his jonin qualifications. But not wanting to incur the wrath of either Naruto or Sasuke, the former granting him the loss of three of his teeth requiring him to obtain fake ones all for picking on the latter, he just rolled with it. He shrugged his shoulders and headed out the door.
"Tell whoever you assign with me that I'll be at the North Gate." Keisuke threw over his shoulder.
"You shouldn't be so disrespectful to the Hokage!" Some random jonin called after him.
Keisuke looked at the shinobi and said smugly, "Like I give a rat's ass."
That caused a bit of an uproar. Keisuke chuckled to himself as he left and walked down the hall. The only thing he really enjoyed anymore was riling people up, cigarettes, and getting laid. And he did all of that in that past twelve hours. He was having a good day.
As he came closer to Mamoru he nodded in greeting. The older shinobi moved to go to receive his mission with questioning eyes as he neared closer to Keisuke.
"I caused a bit of trouble in there, sorry if they lash out at you." He said as they passed each other. "I'll be back in a week, so I'll see you around, Moru." He finished with a smile.
The two former teammates waved goodbye and went their separate ways as they always did. Keisuke went back to his apartment to grab a small pack and a sleeping bag. When he was done with that he headed for the North Gate, as he said he would. But he didn't expect to see the person who was waiting for him. It was Kimiko.
"Oh fuck me." Keisuke groaned as he got closer to her.
He didn't know if she heard him, but she looked up a second later. "Looks like we're heading out together, Keisuke." She taunted as she stared him down thoroughly.
Kimiko was one of the many women Keisuke had taken to bed. And he didn't treat one any different from the next. The second he was done with her she was out on her ass. It was a system that usually worked for him. No feelings, no soft landings, just sex and clean breaks. Unfortunately though he sometimes would run into them in the village and get slapped. He deserved that much. But he'd prefer it if the entire village didn't know he was sleeping around. He was a very private guy. And some of them would make a scene and that was when they usually ended up in Keisuke's bed again. They'd give up after the second time he threw them out naked at five in the morning. Kimiko was one of those girls.
So Keisuke raked a hand down his face and reached for a second cigarette, lighting it the same exact way he did the first. After taking a few puffs he looked Kimiko in the eye and groaned. "Why do I feel like you're going to let your feelings get in the way of carrying out your mission."
She rolled her eyes at that. "I might not be as heartless as you, Keisuke Sarutobi, but I'm fully capable of performing my duties as a shinobi despite looking at your face for the next few days." She paused to look over Keisuke's shoulder. "I think that kid's with us."
Curious to who he'd be working with, Keisuke turned around to see a very familiar head of white hair for the third time that day. "No way..." He muttered.
"Keisuke-kun?" They questioned as they neared.
"Moru-chan." He returned, happy enough to see his old friend again, but irritated that he'd have to pretend to be sunny, cheerful, and overbearing, all at once.
He sighed, knowing that his mission was going to be a long one.
END
This is something Moru and I are doing, just read along. Only he and I are responding.
