'Inhale, exhale.'
Keisuke sat up in bed with his head in his hands. No matter how much time passed, he still couldn't quite wrap his head around what happened. He remembers Satomi coming in through the window but after his initial grab for her throat he couldn't recall a thing. Not until he woke up and Mamoru was running for him.
After that he remembered everything.
The very image he worked so hard to maintain came crashing down around him. He'd only hoped to keep it up long enough for him and Mamoru to part ways as they inevitably would. Of course nothing ever went as planned for Keisuke. But now the village was out looking for him all because that Satomi wouldn't leave well enough alone. Keisuke wasn't someone who could be fixed. And it seemed she had to learn that the hard way.
"You okay?"
Keisuke looked to his right. Tomaki was laying there, propped up on his elbow and running his fingers up and down Keisuke's back. Worry coloured his face. As it had been since Keisuke showed up all those days ago without a word. Tomaki was used to that though. The look only surfaced when the news of Keisuke's arrest were broadcasted through the village.
"I'm fine." Keisuke muttered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and pulling on his pants. "You might not see me for a few days."
Tomaki sat up and frowned. "Are you going to do something drastic...?"
Snickering, Keisuke stood and pulled on the rest of his clothes. "I'm going to visit everyone and turn myself in. It's Christmas Eve, after all. I should be with my family."
As a passing thought Keisuke turned around, bent over, and kissed Tomaki lightly on the lips. "Merry Christmas, Tommy."
With that last caring gesture Keisuke vanished only to reappear in front of a place he sometimes frequented. With a sigh and an unconscious grab for his cigarettes, which he'd run out off while he was in hiding, he headed into the Konoha cemetery.
He first stopped off at Shikaku's grave and said a few words. Mostly how Shikamaru's hasn't changed at all but is well on his way to being the main adviser to the Hokage. Next he visited his grandfather, Hiruzen. For the old man he left a photo of Keisuke, Konohamaru, and Kuri all smiling and happy. He didn't live long enough to see Kuri so he hoped his spirit could at least get a glimpse at her. He also stopped by Asuma's grave and gave him a swallow he made out of ash. Usually he grabbed him a pack of cigarettes but Keisuke couldn't exactly walk through the village with his wanted status hanging over his head. Besides, a handmade gift was definitely better.
Lastly he visited someone he probably missed most of all, out of everyone he'd lost. She was taken the most prematurely. He crouched down to the old tombstone and rested his fingers against his friends name.
"Kaoru..." Keisuke smiled sadly. "I can't believe it's already been five years. I don't know how I've survived without you. Mamoru's fine too. I know you probably worry about him, but there's no need. He doesn't need either of us anymore."
For a long while Keisuke said nothing. He just sat there biting his lip and cursing himself quietly. He wasn't going to cry in front of her. If she was still alive she'd just slap him for being such a baby. But finally he let out a sigh and continued.
"Kaoru, I-I screwed up. I've told you everything I've gone through. The months training under Ibiki, all the people I've misled or lied to, all the lies I've lived, all the people that've died... and I thought I could handle it... I had to learn the hard way that I can't. I nearly killed this girl, Satomi. And as much as I want to blame her for it, I was clearly about ready to blow, I have no one to point the finger at but myself. But I'm going to make it right. I'm going to turn myself in and take whatever punishment they give me. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not here again to see you tomorrow. I'll try to get you some flowers when I can."
With his confession finished he stood abruptly, wiping at his moist eyes, and vanished again. This time appearing right in front of the shinobi who guarded the Hokages while they worked. At first they were too stunned to move. Then they crouched down, ready to defend if attacked.
'Boys, if I wanted to hurt you you wouldn't have even realised I was here.' Keisuke thought but instead said aloud, "Heard Naruto and Sasuke were looking for me."
A little shocked that he didn't intend them any harm, the guards reluctantly resumed a more casual stance, yet still weary all the same. They opened the door to the Hokage's office and followed Keisuke as he went inside.
"Lord Hokages, Keisuke Sarutobi has been found." One parroted off and the other nodded.
'Please. Don't give yourself any credit.' Keisuke chuckled dryly to himself.
Naruto was the first to stand and approach. He looked to one of the guards and ordered, "Bring me Ino Yamanaka." Then he turned back to Sasuke. "I'll be back."
Before given a response the blonde Hokage vanished before their eyes and Sasuke and Keisuke were left while the guards went to retrieve Ino. Neither said anything. They just glared at each other relentlessly. Though, eventually, they'd grow tired of the silence.
"Not even going to defend yourself?" Sasuke asked pointedly.
Keisuke shrugged his large shoulders. "I don't see how I can. I don't even remember most of what happened."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed unconsciously at the young Sarutobi. He wanted to doubt what Keisuke'd just said. But something about his tone made Sasuke fell like he wasn't lying. Like he couldn't be bothered by it. It's true, there wasn't a point. Ino would be there momentarily and by using any of the Yamanaka's signature techniques they'd know whether or not he was lying or, more importantly, a threat to the village.
"You called?"
Keisuke didn't even look over his shoulder. He knew Ino was there. And he could practically feel the worry brimming off of her. If there's one thing he hated more than anything, it was worry. Everyone he knew, he parents, his friends, Mamoru, Kimiko, Tomaki, Ino, all of them were always so worried about him. Didn't they realise that everything he put himself through was for them? So he'd be of better use to the village? So they could live without having to fret? He was protecting them, and they just couldn't let him do that. It was absolutely infuriating.
In front of him, Sasuke nodded. "We need to know what happened that night from his eyes."
As Ino walked out in front of him, she nodded and motioned for Keisuke to kneel. He did. Then with that damned worried expression, she placed her hand to his forehead and started pilfering through his head.
The events of that night finally played themselves out clearly. He'd lashed out at Satomi for trying, futilely, to calm him down. To reach through to him. Pointless, really. Both his parents tried and failed. How could she possibly think that Keisuke's resolve would break?
Still, the bloody scene played until... until it didn't. The picture distorted and eventually blacked out entirely. There were mental blocks in place in his mind to prevent such crude extractions. Keisuke'd almost forgot about them.
With a sigh Ino removed her hand from his head. "I saw bits of it, but he's been trained. Even if he's here willingly his subconscious is fighting me." Ino turned to face Sasuke, her hand on her hip. "I haven't mastered the techniques that could get past this sort of mental defence. Even if I tried what I could, Keisuke might end up being reduced to a drooling mess on the floor."
Then, she walked out just as she'd come. Giving Keisuke a brief glance before quickening her pace. The door closed and the two men were alone once more.
"Take me to Ibiki." Keisuke said bluntly. "He's the one who trained me. If there's anyone who can get past it, it's him."
Sasuke hesitated momentarily but nodded eventually. He stepped forward, placed a hand on Keisuke's shoulder, and they vanished.
---
"There's nothing to worry about, Lord Hokage. Keisuke just had a mental break. I'll keep a close eye on him to ensure it doesn't happen again." Ibiki Morino said, tugging on his gloves and stepping away from an exhausted Keisuke.
With a nod, Sasuke vanished once more to inform Naruto of how the events transpired, leaving Keisuke panting and wheezing on the floor.
Ibiki smiled wryly down at his student. "You've gotten soft."
Keisuke glared up the large man. "You try having the information sucked out of your head."
"I thought this is what you trained for."
"Oh shut up." Keisuke almost laughed. "I actually need to ask you a favour while I'm here."
Ibiki smirked. "Anything for my star pupil."
Ibiki's humour always could get a chuckle out of Keisuke. "Seriously sensei. I need you to cut off my emotions again."
The smile on Ibiki's mangled face quickly vanished after hearing that. "Keisuke, that block wasn't supposed to suppress your feelings completely. It was meant to help you get accustomed to your particular line of work."
Keisuke's gaze turned harsh. "I know, just do it. It's better for everyone if they don't care about me. If I become that side of me completely, it'll ensure that the only thing they'll feel for me is contempt."
"Keisuke..." Ibiki tried to reason.
"NO." Keisuke barked. "I don't care about the risks to my psyche, I don't give a shit how painful it'll be. I'm sick of feeling and I'm sick of people looking at me like some wounded dog. Just do it and get it over with."
Sighing, Ibiki raised his right hand and removed his glove.
END
Another thing between Mamoru and me. If there's an option for someone else to respond, you'll be invited in.
