"In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are."

Hey all.

Lots of good things happened since last post.
First off, of course, the intensity of Friday. That was really cool. I was looking forward for the next time I'd hang out with Kastom and Schultzie, so their company was a treat. The car ride to and from Chicago was great, and so were the crepes at Ihop. The Lakeshore Theater was a really cool place; and theater that has the attitude that allows beer buckets in the auditorium is O.K in my book. The show was hilarious, the movie was terrible, so all was as it was supposed to be. I picked up a mini poster to get signed by the cast, and accidentally called Trace Joel. He didn't say anything after that, and I didn't realize what I did until I saw Joel, and I was like, "Oh, that's Joel...wait...SHIT..."
We got home at about three in the morning, and the time between walking through the door and walking out the door again the same morning four hours later is a complete blank. I had to get up early to go take the first portion of the GED in Geneva, so I fealt like dying afterwards.
On Sunday, still rather sleep deprived, I woke up early again to go to a canoe race in Morris. There was one race in the morning, and another in the afternoon. The one in the morning was great; I finished first overall, beating even the C-2 boats in my C-1. Second race I got second with my uncle, which was a complete suprise. The team that won just ripped outta nowhere, and we usually beat them. I looked at our time later and our C-2 time was only about forty seconds faster than my C-1 time. That's odd. My uncle turns to me and says, "I must be getting really slow."
I get home, dead tired, watch MST3K, and more Beck. Too tired to play games.

Today was a bit more frustrating.
I get to school and find out that my first class has been cancelled for the day, since the instructor wasn't there. So I sat on my ass for an hour, waiting for the next class. I did a halfass update on http://www.lordgenomeshead.com/. I eventually leave school and go to the bank, and figured, "Hey, I'm supposed to check in at that music place I applied for today, and it's pretty close by." So I there, and ask the manager if he looked at my application. Now, apparently, I misunderstood somehow a week ago when I asked "Is there any demand for basic piano instructors?" and the reply was "All the time." I figured that meant, yes, we are looking. Actual translation was, "No, we're not. In fact, we just hired a bunch of people last month, so we're actually quite full. But we'll keep this application on file if we need any." And I've been rejected enough to know that 'on file' means 'in trash'. So that sucks.
I get home, finish watching Beck (awesome anime, I loved it. Will probably watch it over at some point.) I check my email, and find a message from that band that I was in. Was.
"Hey man, Sorry to have to tell you this but we don't want to make you drive that far to practice everyday and it is also convenient to have a member that lives closer so we decided to pick one of the other bass players that we auditioned. No hard feelings you are a great bass player and a cool guy. We wish you luck in what you do in the future. Sorry again."

I understand that much, but I still got pissed. Not at them, just at everything. I live in the middle of nowhere. No matter where I go, it'll be a long drive. I really hate living here. It's been intoxicating ever since I moved, but it's moments like these that really intesify my frustration. Unfortuanely, there's no music scene in the fucking farmland. I want to live in Chicago, where there's more venues than I can shake a stick at, but that really just can't happen right now. And no matter how many times I click the musicians tab on craigslist, I'm never gonna find a real band for me that isn't a heap of noobsauce.
So I still have no job, no band, and no real good progress towards becoming a musician. I'd like to say that it isn't my fault, but somehow, I'm pretty sure it is. What makes me mad is that I don't know how to fix it.

-Ryu