I wasn't sure what to call this post. But. Yeah. I didn't want to talk about how my fiance had broken up with me with plans to come back and marry me when he is 18...cause he is moving...really soon. And I'm dating his BEST FRIEND now. I don't know why. Well, now, someone that I am really close to is dating Tyler. RIGHT in front of me. And it hurts. A lot. I couldn't stop crying in my third class hour. And she was trying to talk to me about everything to cheer me up. I appreciate that she is there for me...but I wanted to hit her and yell at her and tell her it was unfair. That if it bothered her that I was with Alec, that I would break up with him and let her have him. But I couldn't do it. I am so sick of everything right now. I just want to go crawl in a hole and die. I really do. Just because all of this really sucks. I know it is life, and it happens. And that it will get better. But it hasn't gotten better since I was 10. And I'm sick of it getting worse. I keep holding on, and for what? It doesn't do anything, so why do I keep holding on? Maybe it is because everyone keeps saying that I need to. They tell me to think of all the people who care about me. And I do. And then I worry. And chicken out. I feel so stupid. I really do. I wish that I could be stronger and not care so much about things like these. I hate myself for all of this. I'm sorry to everyone I've ever put all this crap on. I'm sorry to anyone I've ever hurt. I'm sorry everybody.
~Arianna