You know what? I'm not happy in any way. I'm so sick of even trying anymore. I try and I try, I do my best for Tyler, and then...all of a sudden, he wants to go out with a girl he doesn't even know yet. Some fucking love he shows me. It's times like these that I get upset to the point of wanting to start that stupid shit I used to do. But I can't. Nobody will let me. And it will only prove that I am no better than all the other fools in the world. But I'm so sick of getting hurt. Even when we aren't dating, yet, we are engaged! I'm so sick of everything. I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I honestly don't feel like there is a reason why I should keep putting up with all of this. I don't understand it. I don't know what I did wrong. I do know that I don't want to put up with it anymore, though. I JUST talked to him about all of this the other day...! Is he really so blind, so deaf, that he can't see or hear the pain inside me? I am THIS close to just telling him to call off our engagement, because he obviously doesn't want me. I don't know anymore. I can't even finish typing about this. I'm crying, so I'm just...
~Arianna