I won't be posting her for a little, or at least if I do, I'm not going to be my usual chipper self...

Currently, I am actually in the process of trying to stop crying. I'm in mourning right now for the loss of a beloved pet...and I don't know how else to cope with it.
It's an empty feeling, and it kind of hurts a ton...

I'm not used to this kind of thing, and when a vet tells you, "He's in bad shape but if we give him this we may have hope as long as he makes it through the night."....well, the minute the pet passes, everything just comes crashing down. That hope you had is gone, and your heart plummets into your stomach, and I know that now because I felt it happen the minute I stepped out of my room and saw my mother cradling his lifeless body...
I'm truthfully destroyed by this right now...
He wasn't JUST a pet to me, he was like a little brother, and I love him very very much, so seeing him lifeless...I don't even want to believe it. How still he is. How blank his stare has become. How he isn't breathing.
I want to believe he'll be back and perfectly fine when I wake up later today. That he was just taking a really long, creepy nap. And, that he's just messing with us.

How am I supposed to walk into this house and look in the direction of the area he used to be sitting, waiting for me with one of his toys? How am I supposed to feel when I knock on the door, and he's not going off as if there's some intruder? What am I supposed to think of the silence? The absence of his presence?

Thus, my friends, I will be feeling this way for quite some time. Eight years doesn't just go away, and I'm certainly never going to forget the impact he had on my life.
I just wish I could have said goodbye.