When I was growing up I spent every possible moment telling myself (and just about anyone else who would listen) that I would not grow up to be like my mother. Not at all. In some ways, I'm sure that was an impossible goal, but in others I think I've done all right. Being grown up now I know why she is the way she is, and (mostly) why I turned out the way I did & it's no big deal anymore. I don't spend much time worrying about being like her or not b/c I am what I am. It's a bit too late.
I never gave much thought to being dissimilar to my father. The things that were the same about us were never too conspicuous. We're picky eaters, late sleepers, baseball lovers, slow to change our minds & we like drawing. Sure, we're both technically teachers but I never paid much mind to that either. I never really considered myself to be "following in his footsteps" or anything. He doesn't work in a classroom on a daily basis, & I never planned on doing this permanently anyway so in my mind neither of us is really a teacher.
My dad works with autistic kids. More specifically, he works with their parents, teachers, caretakers, siblings, & friends and helps them know how to best help those kids grow up easily, normally, into functional adults. When I was in elementary school I used to be terrified of the kids that came to the hospital to see him. Sometimes he "let" me play with them; rollerskating in a carpeted room, card games that didn't have any rules, and the like. I was always too ashamed to tell him I didn't like them, that they made me nervous because I never knew what they might do.
Of course, getting older gives you perspective on that kind of thing. While I still don't understand them like he does (the result of my not having a Ph.D. & decades of experience no doubt) I've noticed over the years of teaching that I can recognize a kid with some kind of disability pretty easily. I've started to sympathize with them after seeing other teachers who've never encountered them before foul things up. I remember trying to explain different aspects of them to my fellow masters' students at LSU (with little success) and thinking, "wow, I really do know quite a bit about this....." I guess I just absorbed it somewhere along the way.
The jr. high schools here all have a special room for kids who don't go to classes with the others. Most of them have more emotional or social problems than learning disabilities. At my current school & the one I worked at last year the room is mostly filled with girls. Somehow both times I've ended up being invited to "teach them English", though I get the impression this doesn't happen with most ALTs. We don't exactly do much work either....Last year I was closer to the counseling room girls than any of my regular students. It looks like it's going that way this time too, & I don't mind a bit. These kids, they need friends. For one reason or another they're aching for someone to be kind to them, to talk to them, to listen to them. Not surprisingly, a lot of them are otaku. It's a form of escapism, I'm well aware. It makes me sympathize with them all the more. They've given in to all the things that I was just barely strong enough not to. So far.
At the old school there was one boy who never talked. He barely ever did anything with us & the counselor always seemed to think I was insulted by it, so she was constantly saying to me, "shy boy! sorry! sorry!" when he would get up and leave the room. From watching him over the course of 6 months, I'd say shyness wasn't the issue. He had Asperger's syndrome. This year, there's a girl. "Hi-chan", let's say. She never says a word. I've also never seen her not wear a mask, though I'm pretty sure she never has a cold. "Hi-chan" always does activities with us though. She communicates just fine without talking. None of the other kids seem at all bothered by this. They talk to her & she gestures, nods, points, etc. It's great.
A lot of my dad's more severe kids are nonverbal. They're not mute by any means. They're physically capable of speech, they just for whatever reason, choose not to employ that capability. And he's totally fine with that too. He's always finding new ways to help them say what they want without actually saying anything. The first time I met "Hi-chan" I was worried we might have to skip some activities for her sake, but she always found a way to do things without any coaxing on my part. I realized today while we were playing cards, I really like her. She's a smart kid. A friendly kid, just like "Ai-chan" who talks my ear off & "Yu-kun" who bounces off the walls. I almost prefer their company to that of my "normal" kids.
I guess all that time I spent trying to undo my mom's influence, my dad's was creeping in unnoticed...
I don't mind too much though.
