In Conclusion:
I've veered a little away from Katana's orginal question about explaining internet friends to your parents and how best to facilitate that process. I still feel, however, that all of these things - online chats, in-person meetings - are very strongly connected and all branch out from the same basic fear parents have when it comes to their children online. If you're afraid your parents won't understand, then help them understand.
- The main rule that covers all other rules is to be honest; if you feel your parents can't trust you enough, lying is definitely not going to improve that.
- Mind what kind of personal information you put out. I know I just said "be honest", but no one's asking you for that stuff - and if they are, then be wary (and not stupid about it).
- Tell your parents about your online friends, and tell them as much as you can - the more your parents know about your friends, the more comfortable they'll be about them. So make the effort.
- No matter how much you know, how comfortable you feel, there is always risk. It can be lessened, but it always exists; respect that.
- Some parents can and will be very overprotective about these kinds of things, and it'll take a lot more than words to prove to them that the 'net can be a safe place to meet people. The best I can say is show them you're responsible about it, and work from there; I can't promise it'll work, but it certainly won't hurt anything.
- Don't be stupid. Don't give random people your address, don't give them your phone number... use common sense. If you can't appreciate that the 'net loves to prey on the ignorant, then you're never going to be able to prove to anyone that you can handle online friends.
On a similar note, there are those of you who may one day wish to meet people in person. The best I can say is to again just not be stupid about it:
- Meet in a public, populated place.
- Go with a family member or a friend if you can; going alone is never ideal for a first meeting.
- Don't lie about the meeting with your parents; really, they should know plenty about your online friends long before you're thinking about meeting them in person - and if you don't know enough to tell your parents about them, well... then you have bigger problems.
- Don't do anything stupid; don't be the girl who goes off by herself with a group of 4 older boys, don't start drinking with them... seriously, this should be common sense. Don't be stupid.
- If things are looking sketchy in any way, shape or form, then just leave. No amount of potentially hurt feelings should ever come before your own safety.
At this point in life, I'm 24 years old and I've met about 10 different friends from this website. I've stayed at their homes, and I've had one stay at mine; I've met entire families, I've gone to weddings; in the future I may even move out and become a roommate with one of these friends! An online relationship is just like any other: it takes time to build trust, to get to know the other person, and it can always bite you in the ass if you're not careful.
This kind of stuff has certainly been easier for me as an adult, but it ultimately still comes down to the same things: honesty and trust. I've had a lot of years proving my character to my parents, so they trust me and my judgment. So long you can do the same - prove that you understand the dangers, that you know how to protect yourself from them and that you'll never forget your common sense - then you'll be on the right track to a little more online freedom.
So yeah, don't be stupid about it, a'ight?
