- Created By stars go bye
no stars tonight...
I hate this. It's a sweetly bitter feeling. I do it because I love them and that I care...even if that means causing my self to die to my self. If you know nothing about me, at least know this...I live because my family and friends keep me alive. They are my reason why I go on day by day. I know I can't die because I'd let them down if I do, I have a duty to them, and letting them down is a far more horrible thing for me to experience. But, for this one week, I just wanted to get away from it all, to do things that I want to do for once, and hopefully that of which they'll allow me to go to. It's nothing much, just to attend a talent show, go shopping with a friend, then a friend's birthday party/sleepover. Yesterday didn't go well. I had a few bumps here and there at school, but that didn't really matter. Then, when I got picked up was the problem. My dad and I didn't really get along quite well, and when my mom got home, it was basically the same, just feeding fire to the growing anguish beneath my shell. Then today, it was ok, same as yesterday, a few bumps in the road here and there, and then, more controversy between Dad and I. Followed by some with Mom, it seems as though my siblings are the only ones I've been able to tolerate lately. Then, my dad was "complaining" to me about his work and how mom wasn't able to do the things that she wanted to do today because I was attending the talent show. Then he said no more activities, which I really wanted to let him know that I'm going on a shopping trip tomorrow, but I just couldn't. Seeing him so tired and hearing how it seems as if no one was able to enjoy there day because I was doing something, bothered me. I fear, that I might have to cancel this trip that I have been looking forward to ever since Sunday. This is the reason why I feel I am dying to myself, because a part of me wants them to be happy, therefore I'm happy, but I've been wanting to go on this trip because I feel I need a temporary escape for the moment. I better stop know, there's no point in babbling on and on about my life and complaints and explanations to the people who even bother to read this. By the way, to all of those people, thanks a million.
Lists???
This week has been so full of sexual comments towards me it's interestingly weird. First off, my friends from cf school and I were talking about lists. It was pretty funny actually. Then one of my guy friends was like "Oh ya, Abigail has a list" and I was like "Huh?" and had this smirk on my face. Then he was like "I know you have a list" and I just answered casually "ya...I have a list." It's so funny because I think he thinks I really like him @_@ I used to a long time ago though, but I still think he's cute. Anyways, later on I was telling my best friend about my list, and I think he may have been eavesdropping on us, but I really hope he wasn't...because little does he know, I'm not a hundred percent sure who's on my list. Anyways, fast-forwarding to Wednesday, another one of my guy friends called me sexy and wrote down "playboy bunny" on my paper and told me that that's going to be my future profession. I was like "what?!" and made this face, and he was like "well, technically I'm complimenting you if you think about it" then I was just silent. Then, Thursday. Another one of my guy friends was like "Abigail, will you be my ho?" then I was like "what?" because I didn't hear him, so he repeated and I was like "what kind of question is that?!?" and he was like "a serious one!" and I just laughed and turned around in my desk to face the front again. Then Friday, Another guy friend came up to my table in art, and one of my girl friends had her Naruto book out looking for Japanese characters to help with my best friend's art project, and so he picked it up and started looking at it. Then he was like "why do anime people do that? They make girls' boobs three times larger than I think possible, I mean, really, you don't see Asian girls walking around with them that size you know? I don't think I know any. And I was just working on art and then my best friend was pointing at me and at first it took me awhile to notice, then I was like "Hey!!!! Grrr...well...thanks?...Grrr...
I mean really, what is up with all of this?!?!?!?!?!?! Meow. 
uh huh...
Hey guys, I haven't posted on here in a while so I might as well. Things have been going interesting. No more problems with my friends to the extent of my knowledge. Well, anyways, I'm real happy with everything and content for the moment, my only dilemma is determining what I want to choose as a career. I'm already getting soooo many things from so many different colleges and I've been nominated for this physician thing, but I don't know if I want to be one. I just know that whatever I end up doing, that it will help people in some sort of way. At first, I wanted to be a psychologist, now, I just don't know. Then, my mom is suggesting I be a Physical Therapist, then again, I'm also intrigued by blood(don't laugh, and no, I am not a vampire) so I was thinking Med Tech? Plus, the thought of putting people to sleep sounds pretty cool, so I was thinking Nurse Anesthetist(I don't know how to spell it), but then I thought "ah man! If I give a person too much I could kill them...maybe not..." And, I've kinda always wanted to do something that involves some type of art or music, especially music though, because that is something that I absolutely love to do...and yet, I must put into consideration that whatever profession that I go into has to be able to feed and support a family...so I don't know what I'm doing. I think I really need to go and pray about it. Well, I better get going now, I need to clean up before one of my guy friends come over so I can help him with his school work. Toodloo! (Ha, I've always wanted to say that) 
Just wait and see?
Well, just to end the growing suspension of it all, my guy friend got a girlfriend who I'm pretty sure is going to keep his head on straight, so I don't have to worry about him anymore. Unfortunately, my girl friend is still trying to recover, but she's dealing with it. Everyone seems pretty happy about now. I made up with one of my friends and now we're all good! (which is totally awesome because Lizanya and I missed her very much!) So, I guess it's safe to say that my life has been going great! Well, I'm tired so I'll try to get back on here as soon as I can ok? Love ya!
Twists and Turns
So anyways, I had been texting my girl friend and my guy friend, but more on my guy friend because we're a bit closer. Then, one night, he text me asking why do people like him, and we kinda talked about that, but then he threw this random and for me kinda awkward question, which was "So will you ever fall for me?". He seemed surprised when I told him "hmm...ya. Maybe I might haha", but then, somehow the conversation became even more weird because he wanted to know if I liked him or not and I, up till now, have refused to tell him. Because honestly, I don't really let people in on the guys who I like and the guys who i don't like and so on and so forth. I was a little scared though, because I thought he might like me, but I don't think anything could ever happen between us because too many of my other friends have some sort of drama with him and for awhile I was at a loss. But then, when I found out why he had asked, I was so relieved, but I still refuse to tell him, because I don't tell anyone like I've said before. Anyways, this conflict between him and a bunch of other people are raging on and on, and at the moment, I'm not quite sure how my girl friend is fairing, but in a way, it all seems ok. I feel as though I'll be able to recover, and eventually, so will everyone else. So it's all right. 
