Honey, I'm going down

I fear it may be happening...I'm losing sight of myself. I don't know who to be, or who I am anymore. Where am I going? What do I want to do with my life? Why can't I be a Christian music artist? That indeed would be amazing. I'm not good at anything, I'm just pretty well rounded, but average at best. My dream just got attacked by a couple of cannon balls because I was just now told by someone who minored in voice that I'm not good enough and won't make it as a music major in voice. I'm torn, because a part of me is like (Ha! I knew it, I'm not good enough for this, I don't make the cut. " But another part is telling me "So? That's her opinion. I just need to work harder and do my best. I can't please everyone." I just feel so...torn. :(

I don't even know who to turn to. It's all just so ridiculous. My parents don't want me to pursue music, they want me to be a nurse practitioner who specializes in dermatology. In fact, the whole Asian community wants me to go into the medical field, because they fear that there's no life in music T-T It...kills me inside, along with many other things. Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother. I don't know what to do. There's just too much in my life. I don't mind being by myself, but the loneliness does get old after awhile.

Why can't I do anything right? I honestly wish I could have at least a little idea of what God has in store for me. At first, I really thought I knew, but it seems as though the more I think I come to know, the more I seem farther from where I've been. I feel like I'm running in circles after something that I feel is important to me, and yet I have no clue as to what that thing may be. So, the chase continues.