Strange twists and odd churning. Spinning around and around. Dizziness and happiness and whatever other ingredients are involved in this summer. I'm still learning, but all of me has been open truly to all the different opportunities everywhere...and yet there's still more endless possibilities.
I don't like watching videos or pictures of friends from college yet because not enough time has passed by yet. Every time I think about them, I realize something and get a twinge of pain, but not pain really, but I miss them, and then I think about some things, sometimes I have a moment and actually have an outward reaction, which to everyone else seems like a random outburst, so I cover it up with a random distraction, I guess. I'm pretty sure I might have just made a run-on sentence or something, but it's okay. That's another thing, I feel much more forgiving now. Of other people, and of myself, and I feel like that's really something new about me, because I really do fall into the saying "You're your biggest critic." It's actually nice to just be and realize what you can do and what you can't, but still be not afraid to try it. Well, fear isn't really what matters, but the fact that you'd be courageous to try it, that's what I was trying to say. I guess, in little ways like this I realize that I am growing up (hahaha that's so weird). "Do what you can, and let God take care of the rest."
I enjoy a lot of things, both big and little. I can't wait to be out in the sun again and just look up at it and smile. I picture a lot of silly things like that in my mind, like finally being able to run through a field of giant sunflowers, laughing so hard-truly laughing-with people I care about, where we're all happy, and no one is sad. To go stargazing with someone dear to me, for all of us to be at Mass together and singing our hearts out in praise and worship. For someone to understand me but to not get bored with me. To be able to fly or run through a hedge maze, to be in outer space, the list goes on and on...I'm just going to stop because whoever reads this is probably laughing quietly to themselves.
No regrets. I can't help but have them sometimes, but it helps to know that in the end, it was worth it, because if it weren't for that event, chances are I wouldn't have been able to do some other things. Always try to find that silver lining. The Aurora Boreas is something I've always wanted to see too. Someday...
Check out this song, this guy is a genius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRzdDCXqLi8&feature=g-user-u
