I'm glad you don't mind me giving you criticism! I really think you wrote this story very well and I'm enjoying it so far!! I'm on chapter 5 now... I'll continue reading asap :D I don't mean to pick on your story or anything if I give you tips^^ Sometimes I get nervous to say what I think since some people can take it the wrong way! I'm glad you understand though *hugs* Nice work on the first chapters!
Good to have you back Manga! Thats great to hear, Im glad. Throughout the whole time of writing my story up, I had never thought of putting in a flashback as compared to explaining things. I dont use flashbacks much, but that is a good idea, I'll remember that for the next book! Thanks for your advice so far, I love to hear critisism!
Hey sasuke! I'm baaaaack! I finally found the time to read and comment :D I like your story so far!! chapter one has dove right into the action... Its good that you explained some stuff in the prologue! I think it would have been neat to have the backstory of Luna and Leanne happen throughout the story (in flashbacks) other then right at the beginning, only because it slightly began distracting from the tragedy of Himitsu... but I don't wanna be picky here!! I just hope to give you some feedback^^ And so far, its an interesting story!! I can't wait to continue^^
MangaKid
Otaku Legend | Posted 03/10/12 | Reply
@sasuke sarutobi4:
I'm glad you don't mind me giving you criticism! I really think you wrote this story very well and I'm enjoying it so far!! I'm on chapter 5 now... I'll continue reading asap :D I don't mean to pick on your story or anything if I give you tips^^ Sometimes I get nervous to say what I think since some people can take it the wrong way! I'm glad you understand though *hugs* Nice work on the first chapters!
sasuke sarutobi4
Otaku Eternal | Posted 03/09/12 | Reply
@MangaKid:
Good to have you back Manga! Thats great to hear, Im glad. Throughout the whole time of writing my story up, I had never thought of putting in a flashback as compared to explaining things. I dont use flashbacks much, but that is a good idea, I'll remember that for the next book! Thanks for your advice so far, I love to hear critisism!
MangaKid
Otaku Legend | Posted 03/09/12 | Reply
Hey sasuke! I'm baaaaack! I finally found the time to read and comment :D I like your story so far!! chapter one has dove right into the action... Its good that you explained some stuff in the prologue! I think it would have been neat to have the backstory of Luna and Leanne happen throughout the story (in flashbacks) other then right at the beginning, only because it slightly began distracting from the tragedy of Himitsu... but I don't wanna be picky here!! I just hope to give you some feedback^^ And so far, its an interesting story!! I can't wait to continue^^