Wow you've put lots of effort into it!! And I can tell too, since the quality of the story and writing is very good! Yeah, I'm probably just being picky though.. I just noticed that as a reader. I think its good to get feedback though since maybe you'll hear something that you didn't think of before! For the most part, you've got the dialogue down pat^^ Great work! :D
I cant tell you how many times Ive changed both the dialouge and the contents of the story itself. ARG. Three or four times I think Ive edited it on paper, and now is about the fourth or fifth time editing it once more onto my computer, yet I still feel, as you have said, that some of whats said or explained doesnt quite flow together. I think part of it is because I took some dialouge out and didnt quite edit that said after it to make it fit better. Thanks for all your comments so far! I'll be sure to keep this all in mind for when I type up chapters.
Lol nice chapter!!! I enjoyed it a lot^^ The action and introduction of Halle was neat :D Halle has a very cool design!! Good work again!
Just watch for emotion and voice exaggeration! Once someone told me that its easy to exaggerate speech or get off track when writing. The best way to test it is say it out loud or play it through. I think you're doing great, just sometimes I wonder about a certain part of speech or a certain remark that changes the attitude. Its ok though! You've done really well!! You've got skills in writing as well as art ;D
MangaKid
Otaku Legend | Posted 03/10/12 | Reply
@sasuke sarutobi4:
Wow you've put lots of effort into it!! And I can tell too, since the quality of the story and writing is very good! Yeah, I'm probably just being picky though.. I just noticed that as a reader. I think its good to get feedback though since maybe you'll hear something that you didn't think of before! For the most part, you've got the dialogue down pat^^ Great work! :D
sasuke sarutobi4
Otaku Eternal | Posted 03/09/12 | Reply
@MangaKid:
I cant tell you how many times Ive changed both the dialouge and the contents of the story itself. ARG. Three or four times I think Ive edited it on paper, and now is about the fourth or fifth time editing it once more onto my computer, yet I still feel, as you have said, that some of whats said or explained doesnt quite flow together. I think part of it is because I took some dialouge out and didnt quite edit that said after it to make it fit better. Thanks for all your comments so far! I'll be sure to keep this all in mind for when I type up chapters.
MangaKid
Otaku Legend | Posted 03/09/12 | Reply
Lol nice chapter!!! I enjoyed it a lot^^ The action and introduction of Halle was neat :D Halle has a very cool design!! Good work again!
Just watch for emotion and voice exaggeration! Once someone told me that its easy to exaggerate speech or get off track when writing. The best way to test it is say it out loud or play it through. I think you're doing great, just sometimes I wonder about a certain part of speech or a certain remark that changes the attitude. Its ok though! You've done really well!! You've got skills in writing as well as art ;D