My first entry. I can't believe I came up with something so fast.

I go through all sorts of different spells and phases it seems. One of my worst is my constantly fluctuating self-esteem. I've noticed though, that I'm usually always pretty insecure with myself. I'm normally actually pretty confident in my physical aspects (I'm not arrogant. There's nothing wrong with being confident in how you look!) but it's my inner self that I'm never confident with. The thing I'm trying to express in this card though is that, during some random spells of mine, I can literally look at every other girl in the world and find something of hers that is far better than mine. Her face. Her hair. Her legs. Her arms. Whatever. These phases normally don't last long, but it's really stupid because when I am feeling this way, I beat myself up so much and that helps drive me into my constantly reoccurring depressive and negative state. I hate it, it's absolutely stupid, but it's something that happens. Normally I don't just stare at myself in the mirror and point out my flaws, nor do I compliment myself and say that there's nothing that can be improved. I'll admit, unless I'm in one of my insecure little spells, I don't really think I'm the ugliest person on the planet. I can name ten people, right on spot, that I find far prettier than myself, but I'm not upset with what I see in the mirror. There's things that I can change, especially about my body, but that doesn't bring me down. It just motivates me to workout more and be more active, really. And then of course, the phase comes and I'm too big, too ugly, my hair is too frizzy. Just, everything.......

Wow, I didn't mean to ramble or sound like some insecure teenage girl freak or anything.....I'm normally not like that, but again, stupid phases....

That's it for my babbling o___O

(x)

Dedicated to the challenge maker :)