jikosangel (Wallpaper Portfolio) [meet/virigina]

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Haaaaa~ God, I've wanted to make this for soooon long >.> It's about time the inspiration, time, image, and proper software all aligned!! i've been aiming to do this for....hmm since about august?

This probably makes no sense, let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up! (XD i couldn't resist it!) Almost no one knows this, for good reason, but on May 5th, 2011...I had a miscarriage. Though now is certainly not the time to be having a baby, and not with my ex, whom I was about to kick out of the apt, and so on, I cannot help but be deeply heartbroken over this event. I had no idea that I was pregnant at all until i finally released what would have been my first child. I saw her lying there and suddenly knew that something was terribly wrong...I'm praying that this is not common for me, that I am capable...there are not even words to explain the emotions that overtook me at that time.

For the next several weeks, babies haunted me everywhere I went. I worked at a baby store (perfect timing...), my mean boss was about to have her baby, I was reading a book about a pregnant girl (by chance), and I wound up watching a movie about a young girl having a baby that weekend with my best friend, when I spilled everything. Everything hurt, everything reminded me, it was awful. And that's after the pain of the miscarriage itself, which was absolutely the most pain I've ever experienced in my life, for hours, beyond extreme discomfort. What I wouldn't give to never experience that again....

What does all this have to do with the lyrics? well, very shortly after, in the middle of the night, like a revelation, the name came to me: virginia alexandra. Virginia because, while I've always known that a huge part of my life will be being a mother, I have often discussed baby names, and my best friend had once told me "pick something that matters, a name that means something to you" and the song "Meet Virginia" had been my immediate reaction, because having a song to start off your life soundtrack would be soo cool XD Alexandra after my best friend, because I've never met an Alex that didn't rock hard (lol). And she would be called Ginny for short, because it's adorable <3

In this way, it hit me like a brick, that my baby would have been Virigina Alexandra, and if I ever have a girl, she will receive that name as well. This song now makes me cry, but I'm not terribly bitter any more. And you might have noticed that the clothing line I plan to start this year is called GinnyDarling, after the daughter I lost. For this reason, it shall be a stylish but modest line of fashionable clothes for girls from jr high to college age. Also, the young adult (dark fantasy) novel that I am writing will have the main character named after her. Though I lost the baby, she has given life to many, many dreams in the last few months, and I will always remember. One day, I will have a daughter, and all of these things will be presents to her, a legacy of love.

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baby, child, lyrics, meet virginia, mother
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