Dear Lord.
Today is seriously a big day for me. I can't express in words how excited I am..
For a long while, I've had feelings for one of my best friends. I'm not, by any means, a 'lesbian'. Curious once, indeed, but I was assured later that boys are for me. But the closer that I got to her, the more I started to realize how MUCH I love her...how much I can't STAND to be away from her. I've never loved anyone THIS much before. And at times it terrifies me, and at times I feel so euphoric like I'm just dancing on the clouds.
Today, I've finally made up my mind to ask her to be my girlfriend, and I'm confident she'll say yes. We both share the same feelings, to be honest..It's just until recently, I haven't had the balls to make things official yet. But, this past week I learned a whole lot about myself and my feelings thanks to a huge talk with one of my other best friends. I know that even though my parents might not be pleased, they'll still love me. I know that I have support from so many of my friends. And honestly, who cares what anyone else thinks? I was asked one simple question that seriously opened my eyes: "Is she worth it?" And the answer is YES. God, YES! She's more than worth it. I can say safely, without a doubt...I'll never love anyone as much as I love her..and no one will ever love her as much as I have come to love her.
And straying from being serious, right now: She is just TOO cute! Ah! And so oblivious too! She wants so badly to kiss me, it's really adorable how she reacts when our faces get a wee bit too close, and she thinks about it. She flips out and starts saying "I'm soooorrryyyy!" Augh, she's so funny! She has NO clue that today I'm going to kiss her, and officially--with full confidence-- say I want her to be my girlfriend.
Last night, I honestly couldn't sleep. It's a scary thought to think that in a few hours, I'll be doing all this...but...DAMNIT, I'm excited. So excited I think I might even CRY. Today I'll finally get to see her again(alright, so it's only been 2 days that I haven't seen her..but that isn't the point!) so, I figured this would be the perfect moment to do it. Wish me luck everyone, or at least wish me happiness. Either way, I know I'll have the latter.
